We are jolly well going to have the number of babies we want and we will BROOK NO ARGUMENT. Join us if you refuse to take "no" for an answer and like smacking rats.

[Imps9]

We will get there. We will all of us get there. And we will brook no argument.

Beedle you have nerves of steel! I totally agree with Gob, sore boobs disappear all the time. I used to panic when they stopped hurting.

Better than 6.15 Gob

oh beedle I logged in first things. nerves of steel indeed! maybe your body gets used to the progesterone.

0650 would be a treat here gob

We had 5.39 over here. Urgh. Boobs also not hurting over here beedle and also feel like it's not great news but will hold off testing until wed which will be 13dpo so should give a relatively reliable result, right?

Not helped by DH then having F1 on loudly on his iPad as he didn't realise his earphones weren't properly plugged in.

I am now relaxing in the bath after having to go out and buy milk we never run out so not sure what happened looking like Haggy the Witch. Off out for lunch later

I am allowing myself one weak latte a day. That seems well within the guidance for caffeine permitted. But any thoughts? No alcohol though or any other contraband pate. Sobs

Happy mothers' day, lovely Brooker mums.

Beedle it's the last few days which are the killer for me. Good plan not to use a test that you don't think you'd be able to trust - think of a head fuck it'd be, whatever the result.

8.34 wake up for me!! Not having children can be awesome

What are your plans for today? Obviously we know Pasta's...

Hi all, Happy Mother's Day! Hope you've all had a splendid day.

We've had a lovely day made extra-special from some hand-made bits and pieces by dd1, watching a film and dds playing together really well

Unfortunately I've also managed to freak myself out again by reading a thread on the Childbirth board about previous CS and uterine scars: the OP has a very specific uterine problem but someone had posted a link to a dubious blog that, reading between-the-lines, was very pro-VBAC and basically said that primary CSs should be avoided if at all possible.

Despite me working out that it wasn't credible, it sent me into a headspin, if I'm completely truthful. I know it was mostly tosh, but I elected to have an ELCS in 2012 against my consultant's recommendations.

I honestly don't think enough was/is known about the birth injury I sustained in 2009 so I don't doubt my decision to give birth by CS ... but the thought of going through it all again/the things that could go wrong antenatally and postnatally (which increase with each CS) when we already have 2 little girls who we just adore makes me feel uncomfortable.

I think I'm carrying guilt from requesting the first CS, even though I still think it was the right thing to do

I've also looked at Green Top Guideline #45 (about birth after previous CS) and it just leaves me cold. I feel like I should just be grateful for the children we have, allow myself to enjoy them growing up and stop hankering after another baby.

mol my friend please step away from the Internet. I'm sorry I can't remember exactly your circumstances but as a cs vet please don't give yourself a hard time. I had two cs for diff reasons (ds1 his health issues and then overdue with DS2 and they wouldn't do anything to induce labour). It's taken me a long time to be ok with them but no one has ever mentioned that I shouldn't be going for another baby and nothing about scarring.

You sound like you had good reasons for your cs (sorry can't figure out if you've had more than one) and please give yourself a break. If you'd had a breech baby and so had to have a cs would that change your mind. Basically I'm rambling but please don't beat yourself up about all this. Of course be thankful for your girls but don't let this be the reason that you don't try for no. 3

ladies I have a confession to make. I might maybe perhaps be in the game this month.

Thank-you for taking the time to reply to my panicked message, hinky I can't talk to my DH about these concerns because he practically rolls his eyes out loud (as I worry, always). I can't ever get a reliable answer out of my DM: everything is compared to Victoria Beckham and her 4 CSecs

To cut a long story short, I damaged my tailbone during dd1's birth. It was agony: I couldn't sit or stand without pain; i started getting sciatica and so 4m after her birth, I had 6 sessions of private physio to help sort it out. The physio suspected I'd also slipped a disc although therenis no proof of that as I didn't have an MRI scan.

It has got better but 6y on I still can't sit directly on my arse (I perch on either one of my cheeks!) and cannt move my legs in certain ways without feeling a pull on my tailbone.

I was terrified of giving birth vaginally in 2012 in case I did more damage; felt it 'go' again during the birth and then wouldn't want to push. I felt the pain in 2009 but as I didn't know what it was, just kept pushing for 2 hours (Dd1 was delivered by ventouse in the end as she was stuck crowning for 2hrs).

So, upon telling my consultant all this when requesting the CS, he was very unsympathetic as there was a chance I could VB again and not do more damage. The stuff he was telling me about CS was bleak, but I informed myself/saw an independent chiropractor who said I was at a greater risk of damaging/making the tailbone injury worse ... so I went with the different but more predictable risks of ELCS.

He was an awesome surgeon in the end but the thought of risks to future pregnancies got into my head yesterday.

You're right, though. If dd2 had been breech and I'd had a CS, I don't think I'd be thinking about this so much. Responsibility sucks sometimes!!

Thanks

molotov - I think your concerns are valid but, as you say, I would keep away from the Internet - there are a lot of people with agendas re: birth all over the place and I don't think that makes them the most reliable of sources. Particularly when most have no medical or midwifery training and/or can only speak in the most GE eral of terms

What I would do is rewuest a copy of both sets of birth notes and make an appointment with the supervisor of midwives at your chosen hospital to go through them. If you need more medical insight, it's likelt the SOM will ask for input from the surgeon who carried out the section

Once you have to e through exactly what happened at both births and why, you can then discuss options/risks in relation to a third delivery in an truly informed way with professionals who are fully appraised of your particular circumstances.

I totally understand your concerns - particularly when you have children already but I can't simply reassure you and don't think it would be fair to or actually do any good at managing your concerns long term

Molotov - sounds like you've got some good advice here. Sorry I can't be any help

Oooooh exciting trix!!!!!!

keeping all crossed for beedle and hope you are ok imps, when is your follow up?

I can feel the droidal cramps starting, bleurgh, they are not the implantation cramps I have had before and so I know we are out this month. AF should rear her ugly head shortly. I am away for shag week next month so it means roll on IVF. God I am so bored of this shite.
Sorry for self indulgent moan I am super pissed off this cycle for some reason,.

far sorry you are feeling like that, hopefully it's preggo hormones acting up! fingers crossed it's not really af.

Far - you're not out for this month yet. As cartoon says, hopefully preggo hormones sending you grumpy!

I, meanwhile, have lost my nerve. Was meant to do a FRER today (12dpo) but can't face it not giving me the answer I want. So I've done an IC, which is obviously only showing negative because it's not sensitive enough.
Feeling a bit down today. Was so convinced I was pg, but seems the "symptoms" were post-Mirena fuckery.

Oh Far big sloppy snogs to you. It is shite isn't it. Keep your eyes on the prize m'lovely - you're only ever closer to Farfette #2.

Mol so sorry you're feeling so anxious. Gob gives good advice. I can only think to add that having a CS because of mental health needs is no different to having a CS cos of physical health needs.

Beedle how are you doing?

Trix - oooooooooohhhhh hoooray! Love it when a rat smacker reports for duty.

All is good here - we have a long weekend away with dear friends this weekend. They both hate kids and are quite clear that they have no intention of having any so they are the perfect friends to be away with! Can't wait!

cartoon - sorry. Missed your post yesterday. How exciting!

mol - hope you're ok. Sorry of my post seems really bossy and unsympathetic. I didnt mean it to. I just get so fed up of lovely people feeling like crap because of their perfectly valid birth choices due to smug twats writing pseudo-science articles on the Internet.

I had a bad time when my DS was born - although no lasting physical trauma - and he ended up in the special care baby unit (thankfully fully recovered). The fabulous obstetrician who came to see me after told me that in her opinion the "best" births are safe births for mother and baby. Whatever form they take. From what it sounds like, you needed that CS.

Ad also just like to put it in the record that I had a forceps delivery with DS and it was totally fine and I healed up amazingly - much better than my friends who had natural births with tears (that are meant to heal better). There's lots of bad press for forceps on the Internet too so just wanted to give my positive experience

imps - weekend sounds fabulous! What is your next crocheting project?

beedle - hope you're ok

far - that is crap. I'm sorry.

running - it is one of those invisible lines, I tell you. Anyway, you are diffed as no AF.

far sorry you're feeling rubbish

imps the weekend sounds great, at least you won't have to worry that they will announce any "good news" as soon as you see them!

running I know the feeling, hence me staying away from the pee sticks until absolutely necessary :o

we had a lovely weekend, met up with a group of friends for coffee on Sat pm. One of them knows about our past fertility treatment (and has ivf twins), but she clearly wanted to know what was happening at teh moment. And I really didn't want to talk to her about it. She kept trying to drag me away from teh group to talk to me and I had to keep avoiding her! We eventually managed to escape, but you would have thought she would have got the message that I didn't want to talk.

So either the progesterone is working or Erik and Ernie are hanging on as I (touch wood) haven't had any bleeding. I'm feeling rather warm and my boobs are a bit bigger (but not sore at all now). Any cramps etc are being masked by my back and hip hurting from working too hard in the garden on Sunday!

beedles your doing so well, can't believe you haven't tested yet.

all in all a bit of a pointless announcements from me! basically we got a bit carried away and decided to let fate decide. since then I got myself all in a panic that it was too soon and I wouldn't cope. so I persuaded Dh to pick up a test on his way home , he got me one cbdigi (honestly!) so of course I used it immediately. bfn. af due at some point this week not sure exactly what day. at least I'm not sitting here still trying to see an imaginary line this morning, there's no arguing with a digi.

cant believe we've only managed to find one agreeable pee stick between us (unless preggo brain has kicked in extremely early and I've forgotten anyone). Still since pasta has freed up some space by having a lovely new Brooking baby we should be able to rustle up a mfp from somewhere to keep gob company. My money is on beedles the woman with iron will who has not yet tested. Fingers are very tightly crossed that Eric and ernie are settled in now for the long haul.

as for me I've not tested since my stupidly early bfn with an ic last week. Mr h doesn't seem to get the need to know and said he didn't get why I didn't just wait and see if af arrived or not... The man has logic but I feel compelled to test so I can manage my disappointment if it's negative. so it looks like I'm PIAYP tomorrow.

Ooooooh hinky sounds like are most definitely in the game!
cartoon I also missed that, that is great, you can be all nonchalant about it all and BOOM, you will be diffed for sure.
imps that sounds like a wonderful weekend away, enjoy, you deserve it.
beedle that is sounding very encouraging indeed, when is OTD?
Mol I agree with gobbo, it sounds like a CS was absolutely the right choice for you. I have seen good and bad recoveries from all kinds of births. I had a ventouse with a massive epi as baby far got stuck and I was still fine a couple of weeks later, going for long walks etc. I have seen people struggle for months from supposedly straightforward births and vice versa. hugs to you!
running I am totally with you, I could not face seeing another arctic white pee stick so I will hold off until tomorrow as I have a dinner with friends and I want to drink wine if not diffed godammit.

Thanks for the sympathy brookers, not sure what came over me yesterday, I think perhaps realising we have at this for 18 months and another IVF round looming which I just don't believe will ever work for us. I had a bizarre dream last night that a cloaked man stopped me on a run in the park and told me to just cherish the daughter I do have. Maybe that man is right! But obviously this is all just preggo hormones talking as I am sooo diffed.

Has pasta laid her brooking baby?

Ooooooooooh what news re: Pasta??

Beedle that sounds all so exciting!! Have everything crossed that E+E have hung on in there. When is OTD? Must be soon, surely?

Running, pee sticks schmee sticks. You are diffed, end of.

As are you Trix. What time of day did you test? And what DPO are you??

Far you will get there. It's a long and battle to fight but ye shall be triumphant!

How are you feeling Gob? Is Goblet making itself known? And since you ask about my next crochet project I have started one, yes along with two other works in progress ...

It will be a throw for one of the sofas, in colours chosen to match an Angie Lewin print we have in the lounge! Wish I could crochet all day instead of being at work.