TTC after mc #4

[GuybrushThreepwoodMP]

New thread

northdown I'm glad your day went ok .

chasing did you manage to speak to anyone about your worries?

No, I didn't. I thought really hard about calling the epu but then realised regardless of the figures I will always be scared. They can't change the statistics just the way no one can change whatever my body decides to do with my next bean. I ended up making a conscious decision to just step back and relax and so I did. . And now my 2ww doesn't seem quite as paid fully slow as they have been before.

All that said, I'm now 7 dpo and feeling fuck all.. :-(

Thanks for your message North. I'm dreading my EDD, especially if I'm not pregnant but I know the thought is usually worse than the reality. I'm trying to let go of the bitterness I have about it all. DP works in a school so if I had given birth around my due date (28th of May) it would have nearly been the 6 week holidays which would have been so perfect and a lovely summer for the 4 of us. I know I need to let this go though.

I don't think I would have called either Chasing. Stats like that are difficult as they scare the s**t out of you but actually, you don't what the sample size was, what other medical conditions the women may have had or even if it's recent research.

I'm 4dpo and trying desperately not to symptom spot! I'd love a BFP before Mother's Day so I could surprise my mum with it. Fingers crossed everyone.

MsJupiter Sorry for the BFN

Guy 9dpo here.. trying not to go insane in 2ww!

Teenie any further testing?

Bristolian Sorry you find yourself here but its a good place to be in the circumstances.

North I think you are incredibly brave! I am so dreading mine and its not til May. I've pinned my hopes on getting pg before then.. in fact to get my bfp this cycle so I can hopefully have a scan and some reassurance by my edd. Very silly of me

Chasing Unfortunately, not feeling much here either :( hope we are both wrong!

Haribo My edd is 26th May. I'm trying to stop thinking about the idea of the future that was taken from us and more on the future I have control over now although its extremely hard, a May baby would have been perfect here too . Hey ho, we will get our babies one day :) hopefully this cycle!

Argh me too Amy! When is your period due? Mine will be Sunday I think. Not testing until it's late- if it is.
Feeling same as I do every month though. Plenty of pms symptoms like sore boobs and nausea, but distinctly un-pregnant.

northdown well done for getting through yesterday. As you say the thought is often worse.

amy I am 9dpo too but feeling very blah today about it all.

Sorry to all those who got baby bombed, it's so hard.

Sorry to the newbies that you find yourselves here but I find it ever so supportive and helpful, sure you will too.

Ladies I'm SO glad I'm not the only one who has comfort eaten. I have started healthy eating from today - my clothes are disgustingly tight and I'm sure this extra weight won't help ttc either. It's so hard though I want chocolate!

guy I didn't see you were 9dpo too - sorry. I have all my usual pre AF symptoms so no hope at all here! The month I got my bfp was the month I had no symptoms at all. So the cramps etc are a bad sign for me...

So my period is due Monday. 28 day cycle here.

Remember how I wasn't getting positive opks? And when I did get one on cd15, it was neg with fmu, but positive with 4 hr held urine mid morning. Well I never tested again on cd16 to save sticks because I've now spent hundreds and still haven't worked out why it says I ov'd on cd15 instead of cd14, when my LP would remain the same and my app didn't adjust my period to be due on the Tues instead (still with me) .. I can't help but wonder if I'd done a mid morn opk on cd14 if it'd have been positive?

Anyway I was going to test 12dpo. On dh birthday. But I'm terrified of a bfn and worry I will ruin the day and our holiday by doing so. I keep trying with the idea of leaving them all at home but think I'll be driving myself potty. I am a poas addict.

I really don't want to test earlier than 12dpo as I think that's usually pretty accurate. I tested 13dpo with dd with a digital. Will use frer here first though this time.

Guy AF due Saturday I think. Unfortunately I am poas addict and couldn't help myself! I tested on 5dpo after reading about a woman who was adamant she had a bfp on 5dpo. I tested.. realised how stupid I was being and put it straight in the bin feeling foolish .. crept up 1 hour later and a bloody line was there although I'm sure this was an evap. Same thing has happened another 2 times .. all after the testing time so taking no notice, and this morning a definite BFN. I'm hoping I'm just way too early but I'm not feeling pg this cycle :(

genni I have been so positive until today. Maybe 9dpo is just a shit point! This cycle has dragged worse than any other.

My OH is starting to talk a lot about 'when we are parents...' and it's breaking my heart. He is not one to get excited about things, openly excited anyway, other than when we were pg before. I can tell he is getting his hopes us this month which is fair enough... we done everything possible I'm just not feeling it . I'm gunna feel worse for him than myself if AF shows up!

Chasing I like to think its not over until the red witch sings... so for my a bfn on Saturday for you would be disappointing but I would still hold hope that a baby is potentially brewing in there. It all depends on the person though. You do what feels best for you hun. I'm just terribly impatient!

wow gobbledy gook sorry! That should have read ' so in my opinion a bfn on Saturday for you would be..'

I am just so emotional I just don't know how to hack it all.

I felt some weird vibration earlier but I know with mu last implantation I really felt it. But then it was eptopic so..

Chasing it must be hard.. I can't begin to imagine what you went through so I totally understand your worry and emotional drain this causes. Dare I whisper that I have been reading through dpo-bfp symptoms and vibrations came up a fair few times... I was worried I had never felt anything like that before.. another reason for feeling out this month. Sending you hugs!

Amyy our months seem to be going the same. I too feel a bit meh. I was so completely sure of myself ov- 3 dpo but u seem to feel very "accepting" of what is and a underlying feeling of despondent.

Girls. Hugs.

I posted on here a couple of weeks ago I had just woken up one morning and felt accepting of the situation whether we have another baby or not and and very much 'what will be will be'. It was hard to describe. No real symptoms and then a BFP (still not excited but thats irrelevant). Hang in there ladies

Sounds like lots of us are all going through the same confusion and conflicting emotions at the moment.

Before I had DS I used to be in a MN group for women who were having trouble ttc and I know how hard it is to get that balance of keeping your hopes up while not getting your hopes up - i.e. impossible. You do feel pretty pulled apart by it all, wanting to believe that certain symptoms are a good sign but at the same time not wanting to get too excited.

I am back into the above state as what I thought was AF stopped after a few hours and I've had no blood since. So now I'm trying to quell the little voice telling me that maybe it was an implantation bleed. It doesn't quite make sense with dates but it does seem strange. It was probably just AF sending an advance party...

Chasing I agree! I was feeling so excited about this month it just felt 'right' but maybe not! Anyway, we aren't out yet... I've also read of people having no symptoms the month they got their bfp after previous months of being totally convinced they were pg that was sooo me since the mc!! so fx we do get our BFPs this month!

Greedy I hope that's the case for us, I really do! I was over the moon to see your BFP I remember you from just after my mc and I love success stories! I totally get the not excited bit, I keep catching myself preparing for another mc and have to give myself a mental slap! Its so sad that you lose all the naïve excitement and 'invincible' feeling you get before mc. I have everything crossed that you have a healthy and extremely boring pregnancy :)

Ms Jupiter it is very draining, I never thought this would be how ttc would feel before we started trying. Oh hope its not AF! Do you know when you ov'd?

to those feeling low, it's so hard to keep plodding away.
Nothing to report here, waiting to see if this cycle is delayed or normal given it's the first since mc. Back to using cbfm - feels good to at least be doing something positive.

In my two pregnancies, I don't think I've had any symptoms until after missed period / bfp. With my last one, I didn't get a positive until missed period. It went straight from negative at 13dpo to digi saying 2-3 weeks at 14dpo! That one ended in mc though.
When I was pregnant with dd, I isn't test until I was about a week late! I was so casual about it, noticed I was late but just forgot for a few days. I can't believe I was so relaxed. Wish I could get that back.

Although last time I was too relaxed. Assumed I wouldn't be pregnant, didn't pay any attention to when I ovulated. Got drunk a few days before bfp and have been blaming my stupid behaviour for mc ever since.

Romeo good luck in your cycle! I think the best/easiest part of the cycle is leading up to ov as its the only time you can actually feel like you've got a bit of control and are doing something!

guy, we weren't trying with our last mc and I drank a fair amount on the fri/sat before AF being due on the Mon/Tues. Since the mc I have often wondered about whether that was to blame. I also wasn't taking folic acid. But in reality, for both us it is far more likely to have been a chromosomal thing.
amy, thanks - give me another week or so and I will be symptom spotting and obsessing like a good 'un!

Those of you worried about your drinking & MC - I was at university when I fell pregnant with DS so was drinking ALOT. In fact, the week that I missed AF I spent 12 hours drinking during a Sunday session for DP's birthday. I had no idea I was pregnant until I was a week late and DP asked me when my period was due so didn't take folic acid until then. DS is a lovely healthy 17 month old. It had nothing to do with it, I promise.

Can I have a bit of a rant!

Long story short I work in a small office, everyone knows of my mc. One of the women is pg, she told everyone in the office except from me for about 6-8 weeks. However, I knew because everyone here is so fing thoughtless they were all talking about it in the next room where the doors are always open to my part of the office nearly every day, and the dumb fs thought they had done a good job hiding it from me so that the woman tried to fob me off saying she was only just telling people. She is now sat talking to one of the other girls who I care very little for (extremely bitchy and thoughtless). They have literally been talking about the downsides of pregnancy for an hour and a half. I have tried to go upstairs to do some work, ive brought the door to, to try and block it out unsuccessfully and I just can't take much more!!! Why would people be so stupid to talk about how 'shit' pregnancy is in front of someone who has lost their baby? I mean really are all people who haven't had a mc so f*ing stupid or just the people I have to work with?!?! I am totally raging. Sorry for the me me me post but seriously if I don't have a rant I will end up charged with common assault!!!

Please tell me ladies... how do you cope??

Oh no Amyyy that sounds rubbish! Well done for your restraint so far. I don't have a particularly good coping strategy for insensitive awful behaviour aside from and

I'm now 12dpo any trying to hold off POAS til Weds when AF is due but the addiction is proving too strong! Any tips on POAS willpower?!

guy and romeo I have the same guilt from my last mc I wasn't particularly aware re ovulation and was on holiday drinking wine for a few days.

Oh Amyyy I can't believe people can be so fucking insensitive. The fact that they know about your mc, they should be thinking about how it might make you feel having these conversations. I'm afraid if it continued I would have to say something. Big hugs to you my love. Xx

So I'm just off the phone with EPU, I now have pelvic pain and feel pressure down there that not even painkillers are helping. I've been advised to see my GP as a matter of urgency tomorrow as the midwife seems to think I may have an infection whether it is internal or urine or something else... She says not to be concerned about cycle length at this point as it takes everyone's body a different amount of time to 'kickstart' itself after an mc. Easy for her to say huh?! Day 37, no sign of anything...