Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Can't advise much on retail therapy I'm afraid! if I had the money I'd blow it all on ps4 games not really a girly girl, and I detest clothes shopping haha

AF is being a dick today, far too heavy OH wants me to go do the food shop on my own may just buy £40 worth of chocolate ice cream

Echoing the others.. on the day I was waiting to hear the results of my 48hr bloods (I already knew it wouldn't be good) I went to the city with my mum and we had a girly day, yunmy lunch and chose a bracelet to remember my little lost one by. It took a while for me to be able to wear it but I now can and it reminds me of the bean but also that I was strong enough to get through something so awful. Loving the idea of diamond earrings.
Buy yourself that leather skirt stoat and relish in your figure before you get your wtf bfp! [Flowers] to you both

one I went out prepared! thought the red wine sea had poured out of me while I was in there but got home and it wasn't that bad thankfully. cramps have started again though. rest my ff app this morning

I like the earrings/something to remember them by idea. I'll have a look and chat to dh about it later on I think.

have had cheese and chocolate for lunch. (not together) so should probably go eat!

what does everyone think of this

It's lovely lil especially as you can choose the appropriate birth stones. It says the letters are hand stamped, so if it was me I'd ask for it to say mummy, not mommy... But that's just me. I do think it is a lovely thing though.
You're so strong, keep taking care of yourself, both you and your DP x

That's a good point Zyla, thanks for that. You can leave notes in the checkout so I'll ask for it there. Think I'm going to get the October birth stone (Rose) for the due date, and the February birth stone (Amethyst) to signify when we lost them.

Ah that's lovely Lil.

Hugs lil That's a beautiful idea. x

I had a really weird dream last night - In this dream a normal pregnancy lasted 4 months. I was pregnant, and didn't realise until I was already 3 months gone, then suddenly in the space of a day I had a massive baby bump, and then I gave birth prematurely at 3 months 3 days. Turns out I was carrying twins - a girl and a boy - and because I hadn't had enough time to think and prepare for babies I hadn't thought of any names. I had a girls name, but not a boys name and I was hysterical because I couldn't name my child and that made me a bad mother. I woke up feeling quite upset and wondering how on earth I'm ever going to cope with a baby...

Well i got a slight pay bump (in fact it was 3 times what anyone else in my department got %wise but still not loads lol) and a bonus which was good.

lil that's a lovely idea.

ain random dream!

I dreamt I had a scan and my babies were smaller than they should be the night before I got the negative tests. maybe you're moody because you're pg ain

just sat and watched Grey's and ate half a pack of cow biscuits! oops

mmmmmmm cow biscuits...they are amazing!!!!

that's a weird dream lil. Gx ain :)

Evening viroids - cd4 for me and AF around still and DH still away.

Anyhow tonight I have friends coming over so will be exploiting the TWPU to the max. Prosecco is in the fridge and after I've polished that off I will hit the vodka.

Congrats on pay rise jelly I got a letter today saying I have a 3% bonus coming my way in next months pay packet so something to celebrate me thinks.

Lil that's a lovely idea x

mmm dominos, chocolate, prosecco....next its the cookie dough ice cream!

Yum! I had dominos on Wednesday.

Hospital tomorrow. Gah.

Gx for hospital stoat x I'm at my friends right now who have a 10 week old. She's super cute.

Stay brave tomorrow Stoat, you can do this xxxxx

you'll be ok stoat you'll do what you need to do to get through it and then you can start to let time heal you, however long that takes.

I ordered the necklace. hope it comes quickly but its coming from usa

I've had a calm day but the crying has started, it feels like it might never stop.

I can't decide on my jewellery. I want a heart, a butterfly or a bean from Tiffany.

Evening. I'm having a shit day too. Feeling mildly hysterical and massively like I should be over it by now. For benefit of those not on Facebook... My BIL is having an accidental baby this summer, due a month after the one we lost. Found out this eve that its a girl and they have chosen exactly "our name". There will be an "Isla Smith" (not our read name, just e.g.) but she will not be ours. Can hardly ask them to change it, as then couldn't use it anyway.

Someone else is having MY little girl.

I'm sorry honey. That is unfair. They aren't having your baby, they are having theirs. That is unkind if they knew your name. No one can take your baby away from you again. It will always be your baby. Even if it's not in your arms it is in your heart.

Aww Stoat you've made me cry.

In their defence they didn't know, but what are the chances? The universe must hate me.

lil and jelly I really wish I was pg. I doubt it though. I reckon the crazy moods are much more likely to be related to my body beginning to get back to normal. I hope anyway. If by the smallest chance I am pg it would be amazing, but I doubt it. I'm trying to look at all the crazy moods and dreams as something positive though, even if they do mean I can go from dancing around my living room to tears in minutes for no reason what so ever.

stoat be brave sweetie. I really wish I could do something to help. Take as long as you need to heal.

honey I've seen the FB posts. It's tough. As you say they didn't know that was the name you had chosen so they haven't done it to be spiteful or horrid. It goes to show you picked a beautiful name. Can you talk to them? Would they understand?

It's a cruel coincidence, but they might change their mind. But your baby is still yours, your baby matters. And mine. And lils and all the others us JSers have created for a short time.

I can't/won't ask them to change it. But i feel like not only did i lose her once, but i would have "used" the name again in the future and that child has gone too. You know how it is, you say your chosen name, imagine what they will be like... But now she won't ever be. I really need to separate the name from the person but its hard.

Guess if i only ever have boys it won't matter!