ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #3

[northdownmummy]

looking forward to new beginnings in the new year

Argh, epskie, sorry it's still going on. I thought it would be too. Your body is obviously absolutely determined to keep hanging on! I hope that was it overnight. I can't believe they are still saying they'll just monitor rather than suggesting something more final now. How do you feel? What would you like to happen next?

Thanks ladies, well I've got a bit of a fear of general anaesthetic (I've had it before so I'm not sure why) so I'd rather avoid that if I can but I don't feel quite as scared as I did last week - more resigned I guess.
If it doesn't pass and the hcg levels don't drop then they will resort to surgery but I strongly suspect that was it last night.

I didn't know that 200 is low for hcg so that's a relief, I have a lot to learn.

I will definitely try ACAS, thank you :-)

Anybody else have trouble reintegrating into normal life? I've tried Asda and the school run and both were hideous - I felt so anxious and tearful x

Yes, it is hard to reintegrate. My prolonged mc almost became a 'safe' place where I didn't have to deal with the rest of the world and everything else that was going on in my life. When you are locked in a bubble like that, it can be a real shock that the rest of the world keeps on turning without you.
It just take time. Take little steps, be kind to yourself, only do the important things and the things that make you feel ok. Allow yourself to feel however you feel.

I find I start to cope OK at home in my bubble but as soon as I try the real world everything comes crashing down. Having a shitty week so far. Nothing life threatening but enough to do my head in big time. Had to buy a baby shower gift yesterday. Sucky sucky. Then was greeted by the biggest bump on a friend I don't see anymore at group this morning who is passed her due date. Huge. Massive. Bump. Said baby shower is on Saturday and difficult to get out of. Can't stop thinking about it. Oh and I have got pissing wet through both yesterday and this morning caught in heavy downpours with a slow moving toddler who won't be carried. Rant over. Sorry ladies.

Epskie so glad you got scanned. From your description of last night's events it sounds like things might finally be over for you soon. Fingers crossed and take care of yourself. Hope you have lots of chocolate handy!

Oh and being in the 2ww has nothing to do with my frame of mind. NOT. Arrgghh!!!

epskie Here's hoping last night was the end, and if not, here's hoping it gets sorted properly, its dragged on so long for you.

Work drama? Do tell! Been a SAHM for almost 7 years, I like to live vicariously through people who work

I've had no ewcm at all since the Mirena came out. Watery and clear but nothing like the ewcm I had in my days before the Mirena went in. My cervix is high and soft, don't know about open or closed as I can't reach it I can imagine DHs face if he caught me with my leg on the side of the bath faffing around Its so glam!

I was up and doing the school runs the morning after GP confirmed diagnosis. I was utterly wiped out and in full robot mode, until my best friend arrived that evening and then I totally lost it when she got here as she pulled me into a huge cuddle. SIL spent the next day with me and did the school runs whilst I minded her DD (almost 2) as I could handle that but couldn't physically manage school run 3x a day.

Hi girls, can I join you?

Started spotting brown when I got to 7+3, which was last week. Had a scan at EPU yesterday, and baby was measuring 5w instead of 8. So they said this was inconclusive and I have to come back in 2 weeks for another scan. But I knew it was over.

After I got home bleeding got heavier, pain started and I think I've passed the sac after I put DS to bed Bleeding and pain eased off after that, but it's still like a heavy period. Called EPU today and they said to call them back in a few days and tell how I feel. Most likely they'll just keep the scan in 2 weeks to see if everything has gone out...

I was wondering how long would the bleeding last? I've read 2-3 weeks, but would that be from when spotting started or from actual mc?

Oh and congrats on your BFPs Treacle and DrDonna.

Hi carrot sorry you find yourself here. I'm currently going through my first so I can't offer a lot of info but I started spotting on 22 nd Dec, had incomplete mc on Xmas day and I'm still bleeding. :-( I think my situation has been particularly long though.
Hope you're ok. Big hugs xx

Carrot puff.im so very sorry for your loss xx

YY to bubbles. Think a few days after my first dose of methotrexate I went to tescos to pick somthing up when I suddenly realised how big the store was and became really panicky that I needed to get home.. because all these people don't know me and expect me to act like a normal human and I just wanted to rock in the corner and scream about how fucking unfair life is. Preferably in the alcohol section.

So so hard. I can hand on heart say though.. its been 3 months next week since I mc and 2 since my methotrexate and I'm turning a corner. I don't tear up at the slightest thought. I don't hurt every second of the day . . I can function and feel happy and I honestly feel like a normal person again.

You will too ??

Know what you mean about bubble, not back at work yet but planning to go on Monday

Not sure what to tell people about why I have been off. I have had depression in the past and was having a v stressful time at work when I mc, so think people will assume my issues if I say nothing

plonks arse on sofa

All of my siblings have finally gone home, DDs are in bed reading quietly. Can't believe my youngest has turned 4 today. Had a bit of a cry this morning as I realised I probably would have had my first scan appointment letter through this week. All compounded by lack of sleep with youngest DD last night who has quite a nasty cough/cold and was thoroughly grumpy all day, the highlight being her refusal to eat her own birthday cake and stealing a poppadom from her Aunt instead.

So sorry that you're here carrot but you're in the right place, this 'ere thread is full of laaavely ladies and I wouldn't have gotten through the last 2 months without them.

carrot my 1st mc was natural at around 9/10 weeks and the bleeding lasted about 2 and half weeks, but then I had on off spotting, an AF and then a week after that another bleeding incident. Then it was over. Unusual case. Not the norm. It's good they will check you again to make sure everything's gone. They didn't do that for me. Took me bleeding all over gp's surgery to get further help. 2nd was surgically managed and had bloody discharge for 2 weeks after. Take painkillers for pain. Lots of chocolate helps me. And floradix to keep my iron levels in check. But I am a vegetable.

My highlight of the day was DS quietly getting off the potty while I was making tea, sitting next to it and playing with its contents...

Sorry for your loss Carrot. You'll find so much support here.

Just checking in to see how everyone is. I've been TTC following my MMC in October. I haven't got my BFP so far despite using OPKs and timing DTD according to the smiley face.
I was feeling a bit fed up with it all so arranged an Accupuncture session yesterday afternoon. It was fantastic. She picked up on quite a few things- that I'm quite a stressy person and need to relax more (!). She advised to drink more water and to make time for relaxation/deep breathing. She also said not to use the OPKs as I know exactly when I ovulate any way. I felt so relaxed after the session and I know that I need to take a much more relaxed approach to TTC. I'm going to continue with pregnacare but no other supplements, no OPKs and more relaxation.
I think it's easy to forget what a long healing process this is. Love to everyone.

i think it's easy to forget what a long healing process this is. Love to everyone.

definitely xx

Hey ladies

Sorry for radio silence - been over on recurrent mc board as number 3 has hit me hard. On 2nd week off work and absolutely, home is a bubble right now. But real world tips me over the edge. Dreading going back to work and facing my pregnant colleague. Got my first due date approaching as well with now an enforced break before seeing consultant.

But oh my life, just read back and Treacle I couldn't be happier for you. That is wonderful news. I know you've agonised for so long and yes, angel baby will be looking down.

I'm so pleased for you!!! xx

Sorry you're having to join us carrot. I've had 2 natural mc. With both I bled on and off for around 10 days after the actual mc. I had spotting 4 and 5 days b4 both.

Like others have said, it does get easier. But you can't possibly think it can when you are still going through it.

Brummie I've been thinking of you love. You're really going through it aren't you. Take things slow xxx

Thanks Chasing

I'm still in shock I think. Can't quite believe I've lost 3 babies. Signed off for a total of 3 weeks. But it's weird, at holt I feel ok. But it's a controlled safe environment isn't it? Dreading the return to work. My colleague will be 20 weeks how am I going to face her?

I really thought once I fell pregnant a 3rd time I would be pregnant for my due date in January. Nope.
With an enforced break to see consultant, I'm probably not even going to be pregnant for my 2nd due date. That would only be if we skipped out of meeting and fell pregnant straight away.

I'm dreading.

Sorry to hear of your loss Carrot - the ladies on this thread are wonderful. Big hugs to you

Holt? I clearly mean home!!!

Does anyone have any insight into how long wtf cycle might last?

Before I was pg I was on 24 day cycles. Am now day 30 after natural mc. How much longer do you think?

My Ovia app keeps telling me to poas which is a bit painful to say the least.

Reverse I think your cycle lengthening is a good thing.. 24 days is very short and doesn't give the egg time to implant which would make ttc very hard x

Brummie, my SIL announced she's due 2 weeks after my dd a few weeks back. It felt like time stood still when they said it. . I couldn't get the words out .. I just felt shock. I'm so happy for them but spent an hour sobbing and shaking over it. It's just so close to home. I don't want her not to be pregnant, I want us both to be.

The other day we went for a walk and bumped into my sister in laws sister, granted I don't think she knows that we've lost a baby at all, but she spent 20 solid minutes going on about how great the news was.. how poorly SIL is.. how when they came to stay she looked after my neice and ran SIL a candlelit bath (stealth boast alert!) ... I just left with a blank head. DH was like.. what's up? And I couldn't explain. Feels like I'm on the outside looking in sometimes. Like I've somehow detached emotionally in order to protect myself from it now.

Reverse my wtf was 35 days which is normal for me. But they are totally unpredictable things and it depends on various things like when you had a bfn after mc etc, whether mc was prolonged etc. I would ignore your app for this month! Or have you been ttc this month?
I don't think a 24 day cycle is anything to worry about is it? The important bit is the length of time between ovulation and period which needs to be between 12 and 18 days and can be worrying if less.

reverse I have read that ovulation usually happens 2-4 weeks after an mc which would mean a 4-6 week cycle, so that would be much longer than your normal cycle. I'm in the wtf cycle too and my Ovia is all over the place. I'm still using it to track BBT but I'm not paying attention to what it's saying about fertility.