ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #3

[northdownmummy]

looking forward to new beginnings in the new year

I'm much the same when women say "urgh I just want the baby here now so fed up" at 28 weeks I spent eldest DDs pregnancy flat on my back desperately trying to stave off early labour, bleeding, amnio fluid draining, placenta malfunction. They have no idea how lucky they are that their baby is comfy and safe in there

Thanks guy I know communication is really important and usually we are really good at talking but this subject seems to be like trying to run through jelly!

Will try again another day!

Yes stocking! Exactly! And when they say "any ideas for getting this baby to come - tried speed bumps, curry, sex..." Oh shut up, already!!

Yup get very annoyed at those have to stop myself posting 'you don't know how lucky you are'.

I have a friend who is now 30 weeks pregnant. When I was in the middle of my mc, she was really upset because she had found out the gender of her baby and was disappointed. I found it really hard.The same friend sent me a message to say she understood how I was feeling because she had been there. She had a chemical pregnancy last year- got a faint bfp uncertain one day and then got a normal period the next. I know she was devastated and it was a loss. I hope i gave her adequate support through that- it was so hard for her. But it wasn't what I went through. It's not the same.

She a lovely person and a good friend and meant well. She just said all the wrong things. The only people who said the right things were people who had had mc before and all they said was, "I'm sorry. It's awful. Thinking of you." That sort of thing.

Even my brother. He sent me a message that said "Sorry to hear about it. Hope you're ok." I felt like screaming. "OF COURSE I'M NOT FUCKNG OK." It felt like he was invalidating my feelings- as if he was saying I should be ok. In being upset, I was unreasonable. Totally irrational response from me but I guess you just have to be allowed to feel how you feel.

I HATE those 'Am I pregnant?' threads. I saw one that said 'My dog only usually cuddles me when I've been pregnant. He's just cuddled me now. Could I be pregnant and my dog knows it?'
I responded 'Have you tried peeing on him to see if he changes colour?'

I should clarify that. In hindsight, of course her loss was awful and the same loss as mine and she will have been just as upset as I was- both situations are devastating. But at the time she said that, I should have been 10 weeks, had found about mmc a week before and it was still a week until my extremely traumatic physical mc. So AT THE TIME, in my broken and very sensitive state, it really felt like it wasn't the same thing because physically she hadn't experienced the waiting, the limbo, the weeks between scanning to confirm loss etc. Emotionally of course the loss was the same. I hope no one thinks I'm doing the whole 'only 4 weeks' line- I'm so sorry if it came across like that. I definitely don't think that- a loss is a loss and pain is pain and we are all individuals with a right to deal with loss in any way.
I'll shut up now.

Guybrush, thanks for making me just what I needed!

Hahaha guy that really made me laugh!
(About the dog I mean)

You're totally right about your friend. I have one very similar.

Treacle - sorry the doctor was so useless. I had similar experiences to DrDonna - the EPU were fab but my GP (who I went to see because I had loads of spotting which turned out to be a symptom of my ectopic) was useless - she queried whether I was still pregnant and then said that if I lost any of my symptoms (e.g. my breasts were suddenly less sore) it was almost certainly a miscarriage.

9dpo and finding this 2ww really difficult. Not quite sure how much more of this endless rollercoaster I can take.

Well done on surviving the walk Mrs. I should be 22 weeks now and find it very difficult to discuss her pregnancy with my bff, knowing that I should be at exactly the same stage.

Ladies I hear you on the girl/boy debate. The other ones that irritate me are the posters who are determined only to ttc in certain months because of clashing family birthdays! If only I had that luxury!

Guy I proper lol'd at your posts there, especially about peeing on the dog. Thanks for cheering me up!

Agree about no one saying the right thing... They either hurt you, anger you or both.

Cariad - I get comments like that a lot as a teacher - people saying you should aim for a DD in the summer holidays so you maximise your maternity leave! Yes, because it's that easy!
I have a male colleague who has been asking when I'm going to get pregnant since I got married! In the end two months after my MMC I got my HoD to speak to him! It's inappropriate anyway! Silly man.

I'm sorry you got such shitty care treacle. It's not fair early pregnancy isn't taken more seriously. I hope the pains ease up, i also got cramping in both pregnancies (one healthy, one MMC) in the first couple of weeks.

Totally with you on the gender thing. Really pisses me off. You've got a lovely healthy bundle in your belly, who gives a rats ass what genitals it has! A few people said to me 'You have DS so you'll be okay' which in my very sensitive state really got my goat. Just because i have a lovely DS (who i feel very blessed and thankful for daily) does not take away the grief i feel for losing our 2nd child. I got alot of, 'You can try again soon' which was always our plan but also doesn't take away the fact we were desperately grieving our baby. Annnnnnnd breathe!

CD11 here, using conceive plus and DTD EOD until i get a +ve (usually CD13) and then going hard at every day for as many days as we can! Then onto the TWW - seems like eternity right now.

We are cycle buddies haribo! CD11 here too although cycles ate around 35 days (sometimes longer) so don't expect to ovulate until about CD17+

Ahh fingers crossed for us both guy!!
Your peeing on a dog comment made me snort into my diet coke!

So, I manned up and POAS. BFP
Oh my god, I'm really scared! We're not going to tell anyone in RL until if and when we have a scan saying everything's alright.

Hi my names Sharon I'm 18 I've been going out with my boyfriend for 3 months and I just can't seem to figure out whenever we have sex after I do a pregnancy test it becomes negative can someone help me with a reason

Doctor that's brilliant! Massive congratulations!
shazzyboo11 I'm not sure if you meant to post that here. This is a thread for women who have suffered a miscarriage. Forgive me if I've misunderstood though. Perhaps start your own thread asking the same question (although I would gently suggest you try to rephrase it and add some punctuation because it is incomprehensible at the moment and I'm not sure you would get any helpful responses).

Thanks Guybrush. Think I'll feel a lot better if I can get beyond the next three weeks!

Ooo congrats doctordonna!!!!!! :)

Thanks Treacle.

Huge congrats DrDonna - your good news has definitely brightened up my Monday morning! Woop woop!!!!

Thank you Cariad!

Congratulations

Thanks Melon.

drDonna what brilliant news.

guybrush happy birthday, hop you enjoy the day.

I'm off to the states for. a week for work. It's always really tough leaving my DD and DH, but this is the worst yet.
I was last over in August when I was 10w. Ended up in hospital with MC 2 days after I got home. Logically I know the trip had nothing to do with the MC but can't help feel resentful.

Guess I just need to keep busy And get through this week.