ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #3

[northdownmummy]

looking forward to new beginnings in the new year

Thanks stocking :)
Think I'm going to the doctors now though as the cramps are worrying me.

Fingers crossed for you Treacle.

Thank you x
I don't think they can do much but just feeling my tummy will be reassurance. I've just got this real worry that it's ectopic.

Treacle Don't hesitate to go if you have even the slightest feeling that something is off.

Well that was a complete waste of time.
The health care assistant took a urine sample (obviously negative) then said "I just want to show you this test". I'm like ok I have done lots, I'm only 4 weeks. To which she said "if your lp was 14th December you can't be 4 weeks til 14th January".
It was then I realised she was a complete idiot. We had a bit of a stand off and then went to wait to see the doctor.
The doctor went through the same stuff. Felt my tummy (very hard prods, ouch) and he could find the bit that was tender.
He said could be bowels but can't rule out ectopic and to keep an eye out for bleeding. Then asked if I wanted to go to the hospital.
Seriously?
So moral of story - should've stayed at home.

Sorry to hear you had a wasted journey treacle. I think it feels like medical professionals don't think you're pregnant or care until 12 weeks. They can't understand that as soon as you see that bfp that baby is real and your child. That's how I felt anyway. Sending

Thanks Melon :)
That's exactly how I feel.

treacle that sounds rubbish. Our local health care don't care until you're 7 weeks but my gp is good at providing reassuring tummy prods. I'd ignore everything they said. It is early to feel an ectopic but that doesn't make it less scary. I always freak out at how many period like pains I feel in early pregnancy. Lots of stretching and aches. Just try to take it easy. We're all here for you. Hand holding in this scary time

Well I survived. Kind of ignored the bump but then felt rude so eventually manned up to a small amount of baby chit chat. I have been trying to block out stuff like due date and how many weeks I should be but know the difference between us. Great reminder I should be 23 weeks now. Etched on my brain again. Even dh found it hard.

More positive note, should be in the 2ww now. Not sure I ov'ed but we have been busy. Reckon AF is due in about 8 days but had a short cycle last month so not sure what to expect

treacle on your behalf! We've experienced some "You were only 4 weeks" and it makes me so because as melon said as soon as that test comes up positive that is the first connection we have with our baby - its instant and deep. Majority of people don't seem to grasp that. How effing rude of them, they are supposed to be caring health pros.

So sorry that the doctors weren't much help to you Treacle. I have to say I agree with what you and melon said about them not being interested until you are 12 weeks. Even at 11+5 it took 5 hours to be seen at a&e and I had to persuade EPU to see me the next day which is when they discovered my mmc. It's heartbreaking.

Thank you ladies xxx
I really don't know how I'd cope without you!
I will see my own gp next week and in the meantime rest as much as I can :)

Diddly, well done surviving! I can imagine how hard that would have been for you. A close friend of my OHs announced that him and his girlfriend were expecting on Christmas Day (that had been our plan) and her EDD was four days after mine. It was like being kicked in the stomach reading their messages (they didn't know about we were pregnant). Now his gf is posting on facebook about 'this is the worst day of my pregnancy yet' and 'eurgh, feel so sick today'. I'd give anything to be carrying my baby and she is constantly complaining about how hard things are. It's so unfair.

Sorry, just read those posts and sounding very 'woah is me' today... Just finding things hard. Constant spotting, don't have a clue what my body is doing and just want AF to arrive so I can move forward. Apologies. X

No need to apologise to us lot teenie. It's what we're here for.

Oh treacle, how crap i echo what the others have said re attitudes towards pg before 12 weeks. Appalling. Lots of love xx

teenie, many hugs hun x it annoys me even now (I'm 12+3) when women are saying "oh it's so awful, how can I go through 6/7/8 more months of this?" They sound so unfriggingrateful and I actually just want to slap them and bring them here and show them proper hardship and how stupid they're being. Dicks. Hang in there, lovely, it'll be your turn soon xx

Thanks broody :)
I have to say the left sided cramps have eased a lot over the day. Hoping it stays that way.
Teenie, it's so hard. Sending you massive hugs.

Thanks Broody and Treacle, yeah just having a bad day I think.

Have just noticed I spelt woe as 'woah'... Doh!... Made myself lol a bit. X

Congratulations on the bfp treacle and sorry you are worried. I remember having loads of weird pains very soon after my bfp in October so hopefully what you are feeling isn't a sign of anything bad. The bean would be so tiny at 4 weeks that it would be very surprising if it were to be leading to pain in the fallopian tubes.

epskie & deenie sorry the physical side is dragging on so long for you both, that sucks.

I've been doing opks every day for the past week or so but they have all been very negative. Am charting BBT too and that is all over the place. Maybe I won't ovulate in the wtf cycle, which would be fine in principle but hopefully in that case AF would come soon.

Hi ladies,

Quick question not pg related but when ttc how often did you talk to your DP'S about how you were feeling, anxious, low etc. both me and oh find it difficult to sit down and talk about how we are feeling without feeling like we are pressuring each other into doing what he other one wants. We aren't activley ttc but my hormones and history aren't being the most forgiving, and can't stop feeling like a bitch for constantly wanting to talk to DP about how I feel without feeling like I am pressuring him into getting a move on!

Thanks in advance lovely ladies. Thanks again for all your support x

bumble I think you should always be able to talk about how you feel. It isn't putting issue on, it's just being open and honest which is key. If dh and I have thinks between us which haven't been said, I feel so far away from him.

treacle, that sounds poo. I really think this pain cannot be ectopic. Embryov right now is tinier than a poppy seed. Barely bigger than the egg which comes through your fallopian tubes every month. I'm not saying there is no change that this could be an unsuccessful pregnancy, but this particular pain which is making you panic surely cannot be sure to something sinister. That's why ectopic are usually discovered between 6 and 8 weeks. Again- with my successful pregnancy I was in a state of panic about pains as well and went to a and e. Everything was fine. Most likely, everything is fine with you too. Just stay aware but try your best to rationalise.

I feel odd about my mc. It was discovered at 9 weeks and I finally mc at 11 weeks which was physically traumatic, very much like labour. I spent 5 weeks thinking I would be having a baby next June which was the hardest thing to get my head around.
Now I find it hard to believe we ever truly believed that it would become a baby. Seems like a dream.

In other news it's my 30th birthday tomorrow. I thought I would be pregnant for it.

Oh I'm sorry Treacle! One of my pet peeves is how pregnancy treatment varies region to region. There should be parity of care! My EPU were totally awesome and left me with a number saying to call them as soon as I was worried. My GP was total crap! I didn't know I could self refer, I will do in future!
Btw - I know I'm being totally unreasonable here but one of the things that annoys me on here are the threads which say 'can I be pregnant?' I just want to scream POAS!!! However, having now bought said sticks I've put off the p part and will continue to do so! I'm so scared.

Oh if we're listing pet peeves.....lol...

But seriously I find the 'trying for a boy/girl' (let's face it gender preference is normally towards girls) really effing insensitive to post on a ttc forum where there's so many of us who have lost our babies and are trying again. All I want is a healthy child

Ok I've calmed down now. I blame the 2ww!

Treacle I saw my GP somewhere between 4-6 weeks when the pain got really bad (kept waking up at night with it) but the most reassuring thing I took from what he said is that with ectopic you don't really get on and off pain... Once the pain is there it stays there because baby only gets bigger and as mine was coming and going he felt it was much more likely growing pains. I know it's not much comfort at the time but fingers crossed for you xxx

Thanks molly :)
guy I know what you mean, I feel now I'm pregnant again I can't imagine actually getting a baby at the end of it.

Thanks daisy, i think the annoying thing is I really know I'm over worrying but can't stop!!!