ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #3

[northdownmummy]

looking forward to new beginnings in the new year

i do hope so. baby stopped developing at 5wks. i started spotting around 8 wks with a more noticeable bleed at 9wks. continued light spotting until 13wks when i did medical managment which failed or part worked. ended up with an emergency erpc at 14wks completing the process.

i wonder if as it was so drawn out thats why my body has got back to normal quickly or i hope so anyway.

That sounds more than likely, mine happened at 8 weeks everything shed within 2 weeks but then was in limbo. 2nd was about 9 weeks and took about 3 weeks to cleae. doctors didn't do anything and refused to believe that it was happening eventually managed to get a scan at the Hosp and they confirmed I was right and that I'd have another 2-5 days is bleeding before it was over. dp was incredibly quiet during the whole thing and took it quite hard

MrsEvans- I'd say you should have a really clear bfp if you are late. However some do have slow rising hcg and have successful pregnancies so if you can hold out use fmu in 2 days. Which test did you use? It may be of interest to know: when I discovered my bfp (the one that bought me here) my first test I peed on and got upset and threw in the bin. Probably not waiting full 3 mins.

I thought literally nothing more about it (i hadn't been expecting a bfp and I'd had the same thing every month so I was like.. no surprise!) Anyways. That night I had this extremely vivid dream that I needed to get it out of the bin.

Next morning I rifled through the bathroom bin and there was a v faint line.

I spent a day tormenting myself over whether it was an evap line. -if it's grey or indented it's an evap line. If it's pink, it's a line

I kept peeing and they were still very light. Squinters some of them really. But they were pink and there.

I got a v strong line a week later.

X

thats a shame it was dealt with like that mrsevans.

my hospital was very good as soon as i rang with bleeding i was booked in for a scan next day so knew at 9wks i had mmc. the delay in actually mc was following all their new guidelines. as a naieve first timer i jus went along with it all. wouldnt again tho.

how is u dp now? have u got any more tests yet? dying to know! sounds promising what chasing said if it's pink.

for what its worth and i might have read chasings info wrong but i was 7 / 8 days late when tested and got the strongest bfp within about 2 seconds. i must have mc pretty much around the time i discovered i was pregnant.

I haven't got any more tests yet will get them lunch time when I finish work.

um dp doesn't say a thing now which can be so frustrating when I bring it up. he said he doesn't have the hormones us ladies have and he said it's all happened theres. nothing that we could of done differently./which frustrates me even more because he is right just I want to talk about it all the time. didn't tell friends or family about it this time and only my sisters know about mc1. the few close friends I do have are either pg or have no interest in being a mum just yet!

thank heavens for you ladies for keeping me sane!

Keep talking here love. DH not good talking about it either. He admits he never got the chance to get attached so feels his part to play was more looking after me rather than grieving. I have to admit I said some not very nice things to begin with. It can be so hard. I just wanted to talk about how shit and unfair it all was. I was fed up of people comforting me. I wanted to grieve withsomeone. Does that make any sense ?

oh chasing i am exactly the same with my dp. the amount of times he has said to me it wasnt really a baby. like a red flag to a bull even though i suppose he is right. he also doesnt understand. when you calm down and think about it it is easy to see why they dont but it doesnt help us i dont think.

i had a funny (although not really) meeting with occy health at work last wk who helpfully advised me it is not dps fault he cant support me its because he is only 28 i had to see the funny side.

i agree keep posting it helps i would have been lost without mumsnet. im also having counselling (was worth sitting through awful occy health meeting for that alone thankfully)

yes! it makes complete sense! I wanted him to sit down and and cry and get it out my system. dp said the same thing he wasn't connected with it so was mite concerned about looking after me. plus I didn't take time off work because i thought I'd I say and festered with it it wouldn't do me any good.

just spoke to dp and he's freaking out that it might be a bfp..

freaking out good or freaking out bad?

my dp jus didnt get any of it at all surprisingly neither did my mam. i felt like once i had had the op it was all over and done with.

the people who surprised me most were two uncles. one who had jus had a serous-ish health problem himself and when i asked how he was doing he said no how are you doing im so sorry and another who said i know ppl think its ok and youll just move on but i know to you that was always going to be your baby and you imagined what it would be like when they were here etc. meant a lot for it to be acknowedged.

oh fwiw i told everyone close to me as have quite a big close family and due to family history of big families everyone jus thought id be a natural. i was naieve and agreed ha.

freaking out bad it seems! panicking in case it happens again and about affording somewhere bigger to live! I'm starting a nursing course in September so I can go into midwifery and he's panicking that that's all gone out the window. not the reaction I expected and he's said a few nasty things! defiantly unlike him

I'm sorry to hear that Mrs, he may just be trying to put up his emotional defences iyswim but not nice for you to hear.

Could the rest of you ladies share how long your wtf cycles were? I am on cycle day 42 now, before I was of had 24dsy cycles so getting b frustrated.

AF arrived today. Making a 26 day cycle Must admit I am incredibly relieved as 'D'H left on Friday evening. We've separated. He pushed me too far coming in drunk and slurring his words when he told me he'd been working late Going to catch up with thread properly now.

Oh stocking are you okay? ?

I feel 'meh' at the moment. Went to (his) nieces party on Saturday - I'd text his sister to explain and she said of course she still wanted to go - I went with my DDs. Nobody could gey hold of him. He turned up 90 mims late without his DS - he hadn't bothered to pick him up and then his other sister and MIL spent the rest of the party glaring at me Its not the first time we've separated (its the second) and its for exactly the same reasons - lying, money and his drinking. I'm just baffled. In every other way he is perfect but he can't handle money and I'm beyond furious that he didn't pick his DS up. I've not really spoken to him since because I'm just too angry right now.

stocking that's so stressful for you- hope you're okay.

MrsE fx for the next test. Hopefully your DP will come around quickly if it's a firm bfp.

Despite my crazy overthinking every phantom symptom and twinge optimism yesterday, AF has hit today. I'll be like you teenie armed and equipped tomorrow! Am dreading dreading this first AF after mc and its yuckiness and heaviness. I'm going to have to try to keep a firm lid on the craziness next cycle. Just ignore me next time I start talking about cramps and other symptoms. I never got cramps before AF before but maybe it was just the system cranking back into gear after the mc.

Ovia is firmly on the naughty step for raising my hopes. Although in fairness it doesn't know much about the wtf cycle (who can blame it!)

Really sorry to read this Stocking. What a horrible situation.

Reverse my wft cycle was exactly 2 months from first day of mc (22 Nov) to first day of AF (22 Jan). I usually have long cycles, around 36 days.

MrsE it all sounds very promising, good luck with another test! I guess your DP just needs time, he'll come around. It's normal for guys to panic

We never talked about it with DP either. At first I thought I was ok (until I actually mc), and told him I'm fine, and he just went with it... I think we should have talked. But not sure if it's worth doing now, it seems a bit too late...

Still spotting here, called EPU yesterday, they said to just wait a few more days and test then. Cancelled my scan appt today. It's mainly only when I wipe now, so hopefully it stops tomorrow or Wed.

Do I need to test with fmu to make sure it's def neg?

Oh god it took me forever to post the above.

Stocking so sorry

doesnt make it any easier for you mrse but its probs just panic. sounds like a lot of plans you had put in place will change with a bfp but thats bot a bad thing if a baby is more important. he is probs scared as well seeing what u have been through. he will come round.

stocking how awful i hope you are ok. drink is a terrible thing at times. my dp totally changes in drink and its a shame, lets himself down time and time again. i dont know what to suggest but i hope you get sorted.

my wtf cycle (if it is the one after mc) was 27 or 28 days. i had an erpc on 14 december and af arrived 9 january. was pretty much normal af too if not a little lighter.

oops i meant 12 jan. was 29 days i jus checked.

I've just left him to let the panic fizz out! will talk to him after work. I know it will be hard work doing a course and looking after a baby and working but he's forgotten about maternity leave and pay and the child care allowance and the fact I can defer the course for a year and reapply next year! they can't say I can't do it just because of having a baby

usually with health courses you get maternity leave. not sure if theyd just defer you until after baby thought as chances are you would end up on maternity leave before any practical so makes sense to probably wait.

he must have known there was chance of a bfp? like you say probs jus needs time to process it.

did u get anymore tests?