ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #3

[northdownmummy]

looking forward to new beginnings in the new year

ewcm is result of estrogen I think. So normal at particular point in cycle and normal if if hcg is still high- I would imagine it doesn't necessarily mean ovulation.

weird spotting today, almost rust colour

Actually hoping it is AF so we can try properly

Methotrexate is a small dose of a drug used for chemotherapy (and some other things) ??essentially it attacks and stops cells dividing- thus shrinking the eptopic. It's an alternative to removing the tube, so long as it measures under 3 mm I believe. Otherwise it's tube out.. its an 80 odd % chance of methotrexate working first time- however I was unlucky and had a 2nd shot a week later after my hcg went up 90 instead! Second round it's like a 95% chance of working I think was what they said.

Although methotrexate is mostly expelled from the body around a week, it strips the body of all folic stores, leaving you at high risk for birth defects and abnormalities.

It took us 16 months to get that bfp - I couldn't take birth control and add that in as well?? .. so we've been trying to avoid each other lol. I began MC on Oct 18th at 7 odd weeks. (Thought I was 4, my cycles were about 50 odd days long though) .. I mc very quickly and then caught again within a week or so, which resulted in the eptopic. Completely bloody crazy. The drs think the pregnancy sparked my fertility into over drive (hadn't been ovulating at all prior) ??instead of trying to hold onto the pregnancy, it kept trying to get pregnant. Releasing too many eggs etc.

Weirdly I'm having normal cycles now post mc. . So its been 3 months since first mc.. and 2 months now since my last dose of methotrexate. .. All the drs said 3 months (16th of Feb) but one nurse was adamant it was 6... and even got pulled aside by the dr and told off for saying so which left me feeling weird. My head says try in march..

I'm due to ov very soon and my ladybits Andy heart are screaming "jump him"!

Andy! ? Lol and!

Evening all.
Yep mrsdiddlydoo I've been to the class. I enjoyed it. It didn't seem any worse than zumba or aerobics and is apparently more gentle on your joints than those. I asked tutor if you could do it in pregnancy - basically if you're fit and used to it, yes but best to consult your doctor anyway.

greenygrassy sorry you've had to join us.

It took my hcg 6 weeks to fall below 10 and I had a period in that time.

Hello ladies
Just thought I'd drop in and say hi. I was a regular on the board through the 2nd half of last year and I always liked hearing success stories so thought I'd share my mini-success!
MC1 was Feb 2014, natural at 7.5w, baby measuring 2 weeks too small
MC2 was Aug 2014, a horrible experience, baby's HB was very slow at 8w private reassurance scan, GP took bloods which weren't doubling as they should have then baby died a few days later. ERPC at 10w, chromosome testing showed it had a trisomy chromosomal problem.
I started acupuncture, knocked back all the vitamins I could get my hands on and tried not to throttle the people who told me to "just relax" Mostly I just tried to create space to be nice to myself - counselling, meditation and lots of warm baths helped!
Fast forward to now, this Thurs I will hit 14w, so firmly in the 2nd trimester. 12w scan showed healthy little bean, HB pumping strongly and growing slightly ahead of LMP date. I know you're never totally out of the woods but I'm trying to relax about it all now.
Miscarriages are totally shit, there are no ifs & buts, and make you question everything about your body. But there is always hope, ALWAYS, even after multiple MCs.

Thanks chasing. Do they only give that to people who have had ectopics? X

Congratulations charlie, what a lovely positive story.

positive ending I mean. Sorry it's been such a struggle to get there

Well it's not ended yet, but I'm further than I ever have been before and i'm feeling positive!

Charlie I'm so glad you came back to share. Congratulations! .. i really needed to wake up to that this morning. Thank you.

Epskie they never confirmed if it was definitely an eptopic with me because all they could see was a "suspicious mass" which was treated like an eptopic. They were pretty sure but couldn't prove it as it was so tiny etc. But because my hcg was rising still I guess it's pretty certain it was.. . I still find it all very confusing even now.. I think if your case is stuck tissue then surely they'd do a d&c? I'm sorry my memory is so rubbish and I forget what they've done so far for you.

gr33d check you out little fitness bunny! I'm getting my swimming groove back on which is enough for me.. I love aquafit.

Congratulations Charlie, here's to a really uneventful but happy, healthy 6 months! I'm really appreciating your positive story too this morning, thanks.

After my MC early in September I think I'm finally out of my miserable, gut wrenching funk, still get upset thinking about my loss but feeling like it's just given us more time to get ready for this big adventure we're all trying to start on. Have started cycling, swimming and running again and am on my way to losing the weight that I gained over my 11 weeks of pregnancy, but mostly from eating everything in sight for the 3 months afterwards.

AF's currently visiting but once she's packed her bags and pee'd off, we'll be dtd as much as possible. If no bean catches this cycle, I'll be seeing the dr as, frankly, these ovaries aint getting any younger. Also going to book myself a place on some expensive sporting event like the great north run or a cycle race in the hope I will have to pull out coz I'm preggers :).

Also when I get preggers again, I will NOT signup to Baby Centre's birth months groups again before 14 weeks, if at all. I don't think I can cope with the heady mix of vomit stories and mc fears all over again, it's not a positive place to be hanging out.

Charlie I remember you from the March 2015 thread, and I think we were unlucky enough to join this thread at about the same time.

Thanks for sharing your happy news, It does make me feel a bit more hopeful.
Although I must confess to floods of tears and huge jealousy when I first read your post last night.

I thought I'd got me emotions a bit more under control - but guess I'd just pushed them a bit deeper down.

AF is doe on Friday, and I don't have much hope she'll stay away. Despite military precision with OPKs and making sure we're DTD at least every other day during my fertile period - 6 months now and nothing.

Don't know about you heaven but i'll be turning 40 in 9 weeks. Should have been cuddling a newborn on my birthday but instead - nothing.

I'll be making an appointment to see the doc next week

I'm sorry northdown, I thought long & hard about posting. Don't lose hope, honestly. I've been extremely lucky to get pregnant pretty fast all three times (although didn't feel fast at the time!)
I really think being kind to yourself is a huge part of how you deal with the loss. I spent a lot of time with my counselor talking about not trying to suppress all the negative thoughts (which is exhausting!) but more about letting in some nice ones as well. It's not about "relaxing" (grrr) but about going "hang on, I've had a terrible time, have I been beating myself up about it or being kind to myself? How would I treat a close friend who's been through what I've been through?" I'm not terribly good at being kind to myself, I'm more naturally cynical/acerbic so for me it meant giving myself time where I wasn't thinking about work, or the DH or whatever. I got a lot of benefit out of acupuncture, I would try to meditate through my sessions. Plus getting back into some kind of exercise (for me pilates was gentle and felt like I was putting something "in the bank" for when/if I got pregnant again).

OK, this is TM but since the MC I seem to have a constant slight leak of urine. has anyone else had this, and is there anything I can do to stop it, its really starting to get me down.

Arghhh help. I've just realised it's been just short of 11 weeks since my methotrexate shot. (I was counting 16th of each month but spotted a photo on my IG which said '11 wks ago' and realised the months obviously vary in length)

I'm due to ov in 4 days.

What do I do? Someone tell me!

What's the guideline again chasing?

3 months but used to be 6...

Just read 3 months. Argh, it's so hard.
I assume the risk declines gradually rather than suddenly disappeared after 3 months?
Argh. Honestly I think I would wait. When we were talking about ttc after mc, we decided to leave it for the wtf month because I read some unsubstantiated claims that the risk of mc straight after erpc could be slightly higher. I don't really believe that it is, and there is no evidence. BUT I thought if I got pg and mc again, I would never forgive myself and beat myself up for not waiting. So I think that is what I would do in your shoes. Sorry- I know it isn't what you want to hear.

I know. . My head knows I should wait, think I've realised there's no way I can hold out for march cycle.. so definitely next month.. I think I just feel so healed physically and mentally. But then I think if there was anything wrong with baby I'd always wonder if it was the mtx

chasing I agree with guy I think if you did get pg and mc, you would always wonder. Plus if you got pg and it stuck, I could see it being a very stressful pregnancy if there are possible birth defects or problems listed with the drug.

Not want you want to hear though.

This is so hard. I feel like I'm battling internally with mother nature. . My entire body is desperate with anticipation leading up to ov. . My heart wants to be preg and my head is telling me all the logical things that I know is right.

chasing I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. I worry about my psych meds despite knowing they are incredibly safe and even more so now they've been upped following the MC as I've not been coping. This is hard so I can't even imagine the back and forth you're currently experiencing. All I can really offer to say is that they do err on the side of caution with these things and if they've halved the wait time they must have had very strong iron clad reasons to do so. Would talking it over with a doctor again help any?

Will read properly later, up to my eyes in Uni paperwork and assignments. And my phone has a badly smashed screen and my laptop charger has broken not clumsy so am struggling to read/type.

Chasing. Although if you're due to ovulate and that means it's only a couple of weeks until you are ttc. Think I'll be joining you next cycle as I'm fairly sure I haven't ovulated this cycle.

Very almost lured dh to bed last night but much to both our annoyance I pulled myself together and we didn't do anything. Going to up my game health wise and she'd as much weight as possible in the next 4 weeks and get my bmi under 35.

I'd feel really irresponsible and selfish if I ttc this cycle.. I know we shouldn't. Though I found a medical paper last night that basically said there was next to no difference in pregnancy conceived within 3 mo than those past 6. Which didn't necessarily help my mind last night but gave me reassurance that we can try next cycle.