ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #3

[northdownmummy]

looking forward to new beginnings in the new year

I think all being straight forward you should get a bfn within 3 weeks judging by others here? Hopefully someone else can advise. X

Carrot, I was just over 5 weeks and had a bfn within days so you could well do.

Thank you girls, it would be such a relief for it all to be over!

Thinking of you Carrot. That bfn is a double edged sword. A fresh start but seeing that blank space that says "it's really over" is hard. Remember we are all here.. no matter how things pan out or how you feel, keep checking in X

Work was ok, sounds weird but I feel like I am betraying the baby by getting back to "normal"

Had a bfn 3 weeks ago now and still no af

Seen to be going slowly mad

Just flopped into bed. Was up with IBS flare up (fairly sure its stress related) which also sets off my anxiety so feeling very drained today, on top of realising I probably would have had 12 week scan this week or next Yet another emotional blow that I hadn't thought of that has sent me reeling.

For all of you.

Well af got me today. Its so heartbreaking when you feel like you've done everything you could... Physically anyway . In a strange way I'm not sure I was ready this month for a bfp psychologically. Even though it's all I wanted.

So I've baked a huge chocolate cake... Still need to ice it though. And I've been drinking luxury hot choc with baileys and marshmallows to try to make myself feel better.

diddly that sounds blissful. I'm sorry about AF.

stocking... just,

reverse well done for getting through work. You aren't betraying baby. . Life keeps flowing even when our heart feels like it's stopped. Xxx

I'm due to start exercising tomorrow - boogie bounce - but looked about 4 months pregnant when trying clothes on! Only day 13 so no chance of pg but now worrying about whether I should do it?

It's so hard knowing what to do for the best - yes I want another baby so much but I feel like I'm living a constant 'maybe' and don't want to put my life on hold in case it doesn't happen.
Rant over.

Gr33dy, I would go for it if I were you. As you said, you would otherwise be putting your life on hold. It's nice to have something else to focus on.

Also, according to sod's law, BFPs happen as soon as you book an expensive holiday, buy gym membership or go on hen's do

Sat eating my cake non non non.

Did you decide to go gr33dy? Having put my life on hold last year and it not getting me anywhere, I would go. Started climbing again recently although my attempts have been completely pathetic. Better than nothing. Stranger to have been out in the evening twice in the last fortnight. Dh and I never go out at night at the same time anymore, unless its to epu for emergencies!

How is everyone today?

Epski you here at all love? How you doing.

Cake- I haven't seen you for ages here but if you are still reading just wanted to say I still think of you and hope that each day gets a little bit brighter. X

Totally pissed off with myself for munching choc and cheese today..

Been googling "pregnancy after eptopic/methotrexate" like mad. . Not much to be found. Most had their tubes out and it seems like first pregnancy following eptopic doesn't pan out well so now I'm and freaking out over what to do.

chasing google is my enemy today. I've got brown spotting and am trying and failing to convince myself that it's implantation when deep down I know its AF. It's so hard, I really hoped it'd work first cycle (naive I know) and now I feel like my September baby has 'gone' even though it only existed in my head!

you'd have had to conceive in Dec to get a sept baby I think? . I hope we both get preg soon and are due at the same time :-D it's about time this thread started producing babies and not just bfp's :-D

When are you due on Melon?

I'm due to ov in the next week and I'm driving myself insane.

I know it's not worth the risk of birth defects so why can't I stop thinking so irresponsibly? It just feels so long ago that I was pregnant now.

No with my cycles it would have been September. This one has been a long one but average about 30-32 days now. AF due Thursday

When will you test do it now?? ? Xx

My plan was tomorrow so might as well!

Hello ladies,

May I join please? I'm so sorry that so many of you find yourselves here. I had medical management on 4th Jan at 14 weeks. The baby died around 13 weeks. I was of course devastated but it all happened in Austria where they give the baby a mini funeral and a little space in a children's grave and they encourage you to really give the baby a space in your heart and life (even if only very short) and I think this has given me more peace and made me feel better than I expected.

Anyway, I got a bfn this morning so I guess I'm ready to get going again. Do any of you know whether you can try in the first cycle (ie before you get your first period) after taking mifepristone? xx

Hi chasing Thanks for thinking of me - I'm here all of the time, I read everybody's posts avidly and I'm thinking of everybody who is having a rough time and happy for those who've had their bfp's.
I have to go back on Friday to have my ecg levels checked again - last count was 147.
Anybody else suffer a big self esteem knock with their mc? I feel I'm getting everything wrong, I went back to work yesterday and the thought of doing a valuation terrified me. Did anybody else have that?
Desperate to start ttc too xx

grassy ??welcome to the thread. I'm really sorry you find yourself here, I have to say your description of the funeral you gave your wee one was so lovely. I wish I'd had that. How you holding up day to day?

Epskie I hope your hcg keeps going down quickly. I remember how awful each phone call was when I waited for them to say the magic number.

definitely self esteem/confidence. I felt like I didn't know what I was doing for ages. Like second guessing myself constantly and feeling very worked up over small insignificant things. I had an incident at work that wasn't really an incident. . Like a near miss. . I got in such a state over the idea that something could have happened even though it didn't that I ended up bursting into hysterical tears on my boss.. barely audible and he just kept saying... "but it didn't happen"? ... at the time I felt incompetent and a mess.

Looking back I am horribly embarrassed and can't even tell them why. I'm pretty sure they think I'm fucking nuts now. Greeeat.

Hi greeny so sorry for your loss. This thread has been a massive source of advice and comfort to me during my mc. That sounds like a very comforting was of dealing with mc.
That cycle is known on here as your wtf cycle (I learned all these new things recently too) and it seems lots of people try during this cycle; I hope to try too once my levels go down :-) x

Absolutely chasing that's exactly what it's like! I almost pulled out in front of somebody at the school today and I was a quivering wreck, thinking I'm not fit to drive etc.
The nurse said I need to be below 10 so I hope that happens on Friday. What do they do if it goes really slowly? Can they do anything or is it simply a waiting game? Oh and is it possible to ov while hcg levels are still up and you're still bleeding? Feel like I had ewcm but not sure if it's still the on going tissue losing :-( x

Epskie if it goes too slow they may administer methotrexate like I had, but they should have told you hcg can take up to 3 months to reach 5. . Mine took 6 weeks and started at 490 when I had my first shot. The first didn't work and so I had 2. If you have methotrexate it's a 3 month no conceive policy. It used to be 6.. hence the quandary I'm in now.

I don't think with your hcg being what it is now that you'll need anything, but whilst I do not know everything, I don't think it'll be 10 by Friday my love. I'd say within a fortnight possibly if it keeps steadily dropping.

You aren't supposed to ov until your hcg drops to non pregnant

Thanks so much chasing, there's more info in that post than I've been given at every single appointment I've had at the hospital! I didn't know that that's what methotrexate does, so you're not allowed to ttc for at least 3 months after having been administered it? I do see your quandary if they used to advice 6.

I agree, my levels reduced by just a quarter in 4 days last week so common sense would dictate that they won't be below 10 by Friday. But if they're heading in the right direction that's all I can hope for.

Thanks so much for the info. So are you past the 3 months now? Xx