The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

[barkingtreefrog]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Sorry to hear life has been lemons Blue, fish and sympathies to you but good to see you back, you little shark. Thinking of you.

Great comeback Barking, glad to hear the fuck yous did the trick. Damn people for flaunting their fertility so openly, I'll bet there were a few secret longings for your lifestyle among the sprogged. I guess its just that we promote the hell out of our own choices to convince ourselves it's what we want at the expense of those who can't have it Hope the head is fine this morning.

How you feeling Fab? What's your new schedule looking like?

No hangover, but feeling tired and very grumpy towards DCW. He doesn't get that drunk very often - maybe 2 or 3 times in the last year, but I hate it when he does. In about 3 weeks he'll have to do his bit, and I don't want pickled swimmers . Why is it so difficult to stop after 2 or 3 pints when you know what's coming up? Trying not to get . I don't know whether all the talk of the diffed and babied was also getting to him last night and that's why he kept drinking.

Feeling proud that my fuck you high fives are now a thing they so work. Well done for putting them to good use Barking! Chez is right - they'll have been feeling jealous of you for having a wonderful child free existence - it's called the law of sod. We all know of course that when we get our wins and have had a narky baby hanging off a boob for months we'll also look back on those halcyon holidays...

It really is super annoying when partners seem to carry on regardless with the booze etc when we have to do all the shiz. Sympathies Barking.

I'm feeling much more like me again now at last. Thank god!!! Still have a hacking cough and snot pouring out of every orifice but definitely on the road to recovery I have inadvertently passed it onto half the fam though. So not my best Christmas/new year ever I'll admit but at least I get to have a couple of cheeky glasses of prosecco tonight as I'm not down regging!

Down reg now starts on 12th so I have 2 weeks to get back to fighting fit action - booya.

Chez I'm mega excited for you - squeee!

chez how exciting for you!!

blue i'm not sure if we've met? hello if not, (sorry if we have!) hope you're doing ok

barking sorry you're mad at DCW, like you say, it might have been getting to him too? At least it's over now...

rain have a lovely time away

fab glad you're feeling better in time for the new year. 12th will be here before we know it!

I have decided that for my own sanity I need to try and take a step back from this shit for a few months. We're still very much trying, I've just finished my second month of clomid (which makes me feel like shit) and I'm not wasting it, but I need to focus on the rest of my life for a while.

I'm still here for now though, happy new year in advance hags

cooper completely understandable to take a break. I did so (for longer than I'd originally planned) and we both feel so much better for it.

chez and fab whoop whoop! jeez it's been ages since we had a sticky BFP on this thread. Come on wombs!

blue sorry you've been finding it tough. Feel free to howl at the moon about it all here.

Not much to report from me - FizzyCat is doing better than expected and seems almost back to her old self - blood results still very poor but I'm just happy she's happy for now. My sis is in her first chemo session right now. Thanks for all your positive thoughts over the last couple of weeks. Spending tonight with friends who are undiffed and some others whose kids are grown up. Huzzah!

Yay for Fizzycat - enjoy your cuddles with her and have a fun night out too!

Understand Coops - it's a funny old business this - keep on lurking though - it does help

As I've managed to generously pass this bug to half the family TWH and I have decided to have a wild night in over at my sister's where we will eat bowls of comfort food, play a couple of games if we have the energy, watch movies and probably be asleep by midnight. How very rock n roll! It's quite energetic for us currently and I'm rather looking forward to it!

Happy new year Hags - hope you all have fabulous times whatever you're up to tonight and that 2015 brings us all the joy we're hoping for or the peace and comfort we need if we are unable to get it.

coop a break does wonders for your sanity, good plan.

Hooray for the cat of fizz perking up a bit, hope it continues.

Your NYE sounds V comfy Fab. Mine won't be quite so much. Just packing up sleeping bags & bivvy bags, off to wild camp under the rain stars tonight somewhere remote. All about the #miniadventure....

Happy New Year hags!!! I have discovered a tiny corner of our cabin has mobile signal :)

Happy New Year! So happy 2014 has fucked off .

By the end of 2015 I shall either be with baby, pregnant, or registering for adoption. Wow. Either way I will no longer be ttc. That in itself is a rather lovely thought. .

I'm off to sleep on the sofa. Just got home after sleeping under a tarp in the woods in very high winds .

A quick question - how many of you are open in RL about ttc issues /mc? DCW is training for an event this summer that he's going to get sponsorship for as it's a pretty big achievement if he completes it. He had a charity in mind related to my Dad's condition, but I was wondering about the mc association. A lot of our closer friends know about the mc's, but not the wider circle, and if you raise money for them people are going to assume there's a personal reason. It struck me that they probably don't get as many people fundraising for them for this reason, as it's a 'hidden' thing. I've not suggested it to DCW yet, trying to work out in my own head whether it's a good idea or not. What do you wise hags think/what would you do?

under a tarp?!?? barking, you crazy!

Part of me wants to be more open about the mc because it was such a fucking huge, literally life altering thing that happened to us and as you rightly say, it tends to be hidden and do charities like the ma probably don't get anywhere near as much public support as they deserve. That said, while my close friends and family know about it, I really don't want colleagues, peripheral acquaintances etc knowing my business while I'm still ttc. There's too much pressure and paranoia (mine) over what friends think about or situation as it is. Once we get our baybee (hope you're listening universe) then I would definitely, 100% be more public in my support. Does that make sense?

Hope everyone's having a relaxing New year's day.We're off for a walk on Dartmoor

Under a tarp sounds mental and brilliant! But hopefully it wasn't too cold?? I once did a camping thing where it went down to -8c - it was so cold my wet wipes froze! Thankfully I had double bagged and there were dogs for extra warmth

I'm totally out in RL - it means I don't have people saying stupid insensitive things and also that life is a lot less stressful as I don't have to hide such a major part of my life away. I wish everyone could do it but understand that not everyone wants too. It's a personal choice. I think it would be brilliant if your husband could raise money for the MA - you can always say you know plenty of people that have been affected (us Hags for starters!) if you don't want to say it's personal to you exactly. Other charities get so much attention and the MA really doesn't get much of a look in - it's not quite such a dirty word these days but still, it really would be a good thing if people were just a bit better informed.

Gale force winds in snow and ice, but I have an arctic sleeping bag, a goretex bivvy bag, lots of thermal and down clothing, and I slept in the middle so most protected from the wind!!!

I'm open about the mc in that I will never hide it if a relevant conversation occurs or questions are asked, but our wider social circle, ie people we don't see very often, don't know. It seems a bit exposed to suddenly ask for sponsorship for the MA without any background information, but also a little awkward to say 'we're raising money because...'
But as much as the fundraising itself, it feels important to take the opportunity to raise awareness as it's so hidden and secretive, there is still so much shock when people announce before the 12 week scan (not that I want to shout about an early pg to the whole world as I'd want to worry in peace) I don't like the implication that people don't want to hear bad news - almost a dirty laundry in public thing - so it should be kept secret until it's 'safe'.

Happy New Year to you hags and fanks for your BESHly support and wisdom during a trying year. With any luck we will be celebrating together in 2015 and revelling in the overdue good times to come COW wishes to one and all.

Barking you are mental in a good way. My ourdoorsyness is tempered by a comfort seeking ROCH who prefers his accommodation to have brick walls but I do hanker for a bit more adventure.

The MC charity is a weird one. I've had exactly the same when asked to sell raffle tickets to raise money for the Daisy group which is a support charity for women with POF. Like you it feels a bit close to home to be airing in public so I didn't, but that also seems unsatisfactory too

Good luck to your sis Fiz, salmons of strength to you all for support as she goes through this. Glad to hear your kitty is in good spirits.

Know how you feel Coop, we'll understand if you need to dip in and out for a while, we've all been there.

Mental but brilliant Barking!!!

Chez what a year you had last year. I truly am wishing you the best for a more calm and positive one for 2015.

If anyone is southern based Zita west is going an open evening in 12th jan at 6:30 and Dr Ndukwe will be talking about immunology. Worth a listen and a question.

That sounds interesting Fab, except I've got my head firmly in the sand after making our decision to go for a next treatment.

How are you feeling?

I'm on a day of chasing up blood test results, booking in for others, sorting out apt dates and doing general admin... A convoluted process by the time you've been on hold and left messages in three different places. Why does no one answer their phones?!

Of course, totally understand Chez. It's my clinic so I thought I'd do a little promote

I am STILL full of snot and STILL have a hacking cough - I'm getting a little fed up with it now to be honest. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting another cold! The good news is my taste buds are back so I just treated myself to some Gorgonzola and am about to make some pea and ham soup. Nothing quite like a bit of comfort food to make you feel better. Then it'll be time for a nap!

Mmmm, sounds delish Fab my sorta comfort food, hopefully will kick the rest of that cold into touch. Glad you're being good to yourself.

Happy New Year everyone!

Just quickly popping in to say that I am pretty much like Fab, I find it less stressful to be fairly open about our situation that trying to 'hide' it. My logic is that I need as much support as possible and also, that, both being mid-thirties, married for over 5 years and openly loving kids, people will wonder (and talk) anyway.

Daren't even ask if you're feeling better Fab...

Well I spoke to DCW and he's up for it. Sponsorship will be for the Miscarriage Association

Good for you and him Barking - I feel super proud of you both

I managed to go a whole day without a nap today which is an improvement and I also managed an uninterrupted sleep last night (had to do 3 pillows though ) so I'm hoping this means I'm on the mend - fingers crossed!!

Good on you both Barking that's awesome!

Erica that sounds perfectly logical to me too

Switched to Tommy's. Prefer the emphasis on research and stopping it happening rather than just supporting after it has. Also the inclusion of premature births and stillbirths as I've got friends who've been through both.

Anyway. in-law rant warning

MiL's birthday. I was guilt tripped into coming over with DCW so we could take his mum out for breakfast this morning. His brother, wife & two kids as well, the second born just before our first mc.
So I arranged to meet up with a friend who lives locally for a dog walk afterwards at 11 while DCW did some jobs round the house for his mum. Arrived last night to learn that BiL & family have arranged breakfast at 11.30 because the universe revolves around them and the kids' timetables . What the fuck? Who goes for breakfast at 11.30 unless you're busy sleeping off a massive hangover? This is apparently because they need to go to church. Not because they are religious, just so they get points towards getting the kids into a better school that's not their catchment .

So I've said I can't go. This will be a black mark, but I really don't give a shit .

That's not breakfast, that's lunch! That's really unreasonable!