Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.
In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â
Revised BESHtionnare for reference
-
Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
-
Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
-
Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
a) weewee
b) poopoo
c) foofoo
d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.
-
Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.
-
Is R2D2:
a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
b) the source of all evil.
-
Number of pets?
-
Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
-
Lesbian crush?
-
How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
b) Over 100 quid
c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks
-
Which of these sentences is appalling:
a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
c) both of the above
-
How barren are you?
a) childless and TTC for at least one year
b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!
If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.