The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

[barkingtreefrog]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Tuesday fun fact: Angela Basset, Goddess Extraordinaire, had her boy and girl twins at 48!

So please, please put me in a time machine so I get to the baybee time, whenever that is!

I read about a lady (Kate something, think she's a news lady) who had several rounds of unsuccessful IVF then 2 unassisted pregnancies and babies in her mid 40's. Yay for the fun facts and the fab ladies.

That's Kate Silverton isn't it?

Apparently Angela Basset and her husband's twins were carried by a surrogate - they were trying for 9 years before they went down the surrogacy route.

Yes, Kate Silverton sounds right

Whoops. That didn't quite work. Not because there is anything wrong with surrogacy. More like, because it's completely unavailable to me for a number of reasons so Angela's story is not the source of hope I was hoping for. Damn.

Still. Love her and good on her!

Thanks for the welcome, broads. Without getting soppy and whatnot, of course. Nice to meet you all. I'm trying to get a handle on where you all are, you know, procedurally, so I can just fall into the conversation all natural-like. Cherry, I don't know much about IVF/EC/ET, but I totally advise taking time off work wherever possible.

Erica, Himself is away at the moment on a work trip, right at the crucial moment also. Such a waste of lovely cervical mucus.

I slept in this morning, which is a terrible disgrace and a complete piss-take on my 'work-from-home-day'. Shh, don't tell The Boss.

Hmm, nine years trying is a long time in the queue! but please give us BESH a better priority pass, damn it we're brash enough to annoy the hell out of the rest of everyone else here waiting

Rain I've told my big boss about treatment but no one else knows. He's kind of lovely about it but vague in the protocol of holiday v sick so we're muddling a long a bit. Most of my apts are as doc or hospital visits, though now they're coming a bit more regularly some are in holiday time to fend off questions!

Timing the TX with holiday and an empty enough diary around meetings etc. without raising suspicions is challenging! I want at least a week off though if poss this time. A few days grace around OTD also wouldn't go amiss.

Oh I could so have slept in this morning Bad, shame I was wide awake at 4. Why is that always the case?

Fab glad to hear your mum is improving, long may it continue. Hope you've shifted that headache and are doing better on the hormone drought.

How are you feeling today Barking? Cooked up any new distraction techniques.

Ah OK that makes sense Fizz, sending plump warm cushiony womble vibes your way.

I'm clutching my thyroxine prescription with triumph today after having to use all my whiley persuasive skills on the (young male) doctor this morning. TSH of 2.9 might be within the wide gulf of NHS guidelines but my consultant wants it down for IVF damnit and I Wasn't leaving without it. He finally conceded and bonza, I didn't realise a. It's a free prescription and b. For the duration I'm on it there are no prescription charges!

Such disparity in the NHS. Thyroxine hormone deficiency, can't do enough. Oestrogen deficiency, double prescription charge. Wondering if I'll feel any different on it.

Shocking timing to be separated from you man folk Erica and bad.

Barking, I meant to ask, are you swimming at all on your 2ww? We were in Cyprus for ours last year and despite the temptation and assurances from the hospital it would be fine I was too scared!

I'm full of hormones Chez - I'm on day 5 of stims and feeling bleurgh at the moment. Crazy headache hell.

Argh! No time to catch up as knackered and need to go to bed! Will scroll through and speak properly tomorrow....
Distraction techniques worked well tonight, if you can count doing loads of stuff whilst in your head I wonder if I'm pregnant is playing on a loop, sometimes with the chorus I wonder how I'll cope if I'm not with an occasional break of I'm really calm. Definitely feeling calmer this time. Definitely not thinking about it all the time. Oh...

I'll be back tomorrow to a) tell you about my evening b) rant about my boss c) catch up with everyone else's posts and d) find some more cool fish .

Oh gawd Fab that sounds rough, soz am not keeping up with the programme. Protocol for donor eggs is so jammy in comparison, just luffly Progynova swimming round the system to plump up the lining. I feel superhuman on that stuff.

Have the damsel bass of distraction Barking to calm that inner monologue.

Ok, trying to reply/respond in order so I don't miss anything!

Chez yes I'm working as usual. However, this time round it means sitting at a desk, not teaching a class of thirty 8/9 year olds, so there's a big difference! This is why I wouldn't bother using up holiday Fab, there's really no need. I haven't been cycling into work though, I've driven or got a lift every day since the insemination so far. Been feeling tired, and then this morning it was rainy and windy and I just couldn't be arsed!

Having said I haven't taken time off, I'd still recommend you do chez if you're not able to take things easy at work. But then I'm a constant protector of the 'what ifs'.

Fab glad your mum is improving. Good luck for the scans and infusions. Egg collection soon - eeks!! Sorry about the hormone overload, I felt it enough on my low dose for iui!

Fizz why do you still have to have a medicated cycle? Is that for lining etc? Or so they can control ov?  (sorry if I'm being stupid)

Rain a time machine sounds fucking good right now!! What is your job like? Would you be getting less stress at home? I just don't want to use up my meagre holiday, and I already left teaching for this office job purely to reduce the stress whilst going through this shit, so I think I've taken enough steps (including a massive pay cut) in that direction! I would probably take days off for EC and ET if we got to IVF, but not the whole 2 weeks. I do nothing physical though, and never leave the office.

Bads so sorry, I've obviously forgotten my manners missed the protocol  and not introduced myself. Came off the pill and started acne production Dec 2011. Clomid bfp summer 2013 then miscarriage. IUI bfp May 2014 then another miscarriage. Diagnosed with factor v leiden thrombophilia at the repeat miscarriage clinic, which may or may not explain each or either mc. Married to DCW (Daniel Craig Wannabe)Â

I seem to have insomnia which is a classic pg symptom, had it both times before and I am still still too tired to bother getting on my bike which is another pg symptom, not related to the insomnia, obviously and I'm off my food tick, yet another symptom but I'm only 3 or 4 dpo so obviously there's nothing in it.

chez well done on the persuasive skills. And a bonus free prescription! Woohoo! I haven't been swimming, but not for any reason related to iui - in fact, now you mention it, I might go this weekend! DCW is away and my first thought was to find a friend to invite myself to for the weekend, then I realised that actually, a weekend of doing nothing but walking the dog and chilling out might be pretty good compared to the hecticness of last weekend! Be prepared for my whinging and moaning at the weekend when I'm bored and driving myself crazy though... But anyway, about the swimming - the difference with ivf is the ec and et - more chance of infection, with iui they are only mimicking what would happen naturally if everything was working ok.

Cleared the air with the boss this morning. He apologised. No need to rant now. And breathe.......

So that text formatting was an epic fail, wasn't it?!?!

I've just had to leave work as I was going to the toilet every 5 mins then started weeing blood. Urine infection I assume but the gp phone line is closed over lunchtime so have to wait until 1.30. Had similar about 3 years ago so I'm hoping a doctor will write me a prescription without needing an appointment but might be too simple... Had to get a lift home from a colleague as DCW gave me a lift to work. Which means I have no car to get me to the gp and I'm not sure whether I'll manage the 10 minute walk without wetting myself. . I've been sat on the toilet since I got home...

Oh barking my love. I don't suppose the clinic can offer any advice?

It hadn't occurred to me it might be related. I feel really bad though as I texted DCW to say I was weeing blood and had to go home and he called and asked if I'd spoken to the clinic sounding all concerned - he apparently assumed it was bad news re the iui. I had to explain that I was bleeding out of a different hole and I didn't think the two were related....

Still not managed to leave the toilet. Getting rather uncomfortable . I'm now wondering whether I'd be able to take antibiotics anyway?

I know nothing about this stuff- my only poor logic is that if the clinic have poked around in there they made have triggered an infection? But then I've no idea how an infection comes about so that's probably nonsense. I just see them as the gods of fanjos ...

Hi Barking,

I am so sorry, I've had UTIs and there are a fucking pain in the ... well, everywhere really.

I think they can give you pregnancy-safe antibiotics. However, I've been in the 'sitting in the toilets for two hours in a LOT of discomfort' situation a few times and very often, you just pee it out, so to speak, and feel fine within a few hours. Not saying you should be suffering 'just in case' but you may not need meds after all.

Good luck!

Erica right now I'm just worried I won't be able to go to acupuncture tonight!!! And I'll have to pay for it anyway as they have a 48 hour cancellation policy . Right at this moment I just can't leave the toilet.... Really glad I recognised what was happening and left work when I did!!!!

Poor you Barking! You don't really need the stress.

I find that drinking lots and lots of water helps... not necessarily what you fancy right now but it makes you 'pee it out' faster.

My lovely, lovely friend (who fortunately for me does not work Wednesdays!!) came round and brought me some cystopurin sachets. I managed to leave the bathroom long enough to grab a glass and a sachet and took one. The gp called at 3 and said she'd leave me a prescription and I needed to do a sample. Lovely friend drive back to my house again and picked me up to take me to the doctors. The cystopurin did enough to make this possible. Now have antibiotics, a 6 day course. It's still a couple of hours before acupuncture and the worst seems to have settled down. I was going to take another cystopurin and go, but then I read that pregnant women shouldn't take them. But I don't know if I'm pregnant, it's only 3 or 4 dpo, and I already took one (without knowing) earlier. What do you think?

drove