The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

[barkingtreefrog]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

I'm with you on the control freakery chez! And feeling like you're doing something, anything, really helps the PMA.
And yes, the difference between being supportive because I've had to tell him this is a situation in which he needs to be supportive, and just the expectation that he should already be aware that this is a huge deal!!! It's not exactly your every day situation!!
I'm not normally like this, but I think the emotions are high...

Waiting at the hospital now...

Just popping by to wish barking good luck - we're off on a rare day out in London (as I am there every bloody day for work I generally try to avoid it like the plague at weekends but RAF talks me into it every now and then).
Will be back later for a progress report!

All done. DCW is feeling quite guilty now, and glad he came with me. Apparently he thought it was a quick in and out like all the scans. When he realised it was actually something you had to go to the theatre for, and he was given scrubs to wear, he was quite taken aback!

Good! Sometimes I think our men folk get blasé about things because they live with such independent, strong willed women. What's your plan for the rest of the day Barking?

Well, not exactly the relaxing time I had planned chez. Got on the train and it was rammed, had to stand all the way there (an hour). Waited at a freezing station for my connection. Checked with the guard I was on the right platform. The train didn't stop at my stop. Had to go all the way into Manchester and find a train back again. Realised I had 30 seconds to get the next train, furthest platform away. Ran all the way there, pushing past all the people who were filling the stairs and platform having come off the train I needed to get on. Got on seconds before they closed the doors.
Really hope those swimmers got buried in up high and have a good grip, trying to tell myself I'm being ridiculous but keep imagining that I've shaken them all out again .
After I've picked up my sister and got the train back to Manchester and done the Strictly show, it's over to Crewe for the wedding reception I don't want to go to, and then a two hour drive home.

Er no, not at all relaxing Barking but I'm sure it'll be fine nonetheless if you can take care to give it some deep breaths along the way and keep yourself in the moment rather than stressing over the outcome. Ha ha, way easier said than done. More than anything try to enjoy it, everything crossed for you!

I'm off out, giving up in disgust on my stupid tax return which thinks I owe a ridiculous amount of money - especially given the lowly income I get from self employed stuff and the impressive amount of expenses I managed to file for last year. Gutting! Will need to go back over that with a fine tooth comb later. Joy.

Enjoy your day in the big smoke Rain.

Only just got here in time. Tram wasn't running so mum picked us up from the station and drove us back into manchester, then roadworks closed off the roads so we had to walk and I got lost.
Fucks sake. Why did I book this? Why am I not on my sofa? If this doesn't work I'm going to blame myself for not relaxing. Feeling very emotional and permantly on the brink of tears .

barking! You are not to think like this. For a start, there's no reason to think it won't work! Even if it doesn't, there is NO way you are allowed to blame yourself for anything! I once read that a GP likened iui/ ivf/ implantation generally to being like a raspberry pip in a jam sandwich. Even British trains wouldn't have been able to shake the swimmers out! Hope you have a good time with your sis this afternoon and are able to have fun this eve too.

cherry sorry things are tough for you and ROCH at the moment. You will get through it. And yay for tx soon! Only a matter of weeks now. Going for a scratch in the run up to tx sounds right - will get your womble nice and receptive.

fab COO! COW!

At last he sees the light!! What Chez said! Total bums that you weren't able to sit and chill out but that's not your way normally and at least doing all these other things will have (a teeny bit anyway) taken your mind of things. At least they will when you finally get there - sounds like a hideous nightmare with all those changes! Our gynae says the same thing re the sandwich - basically once stuff is past that cervix barrier ain't nothing coming back through that bad boy! Plus swimmers go up - it's their thing - they know what to do :)

The scratch timin sounds about right to me Chez and I don't think there's any need for you to do the whey thing as you're skipping the egg growing section - it's all about being healthy before and after for you (think yourself lucky you don't have to gobble down all this protein - it's hard work! I'm just cooking a venison stew and shall be serving it with kale. How's that for super healthy? We've got onions, celery, and sweet potatoes in the stew - should be carrots and swede instead of the sweet potato but someone (not naming any names) ate them during the week and didn't tell me!! Nom!

Man I have the most knacking headache. Booo :(

Your tea sounds awesome Fab, even the modified version! Mmm! Love a good hearty casserole. ROCH doesn't get my diet needs at all, hence I seem to be doing all the cooking at the moment which is a bit of a ball ache. I got home on Thurs and he had helpfully bought a fresh pasta and sauce for tea. Quite which bit of the gluten laden pasta and dairy rich marscapone tomato sauce he thought might be suitable I'm not so sure! Still, he is eating up the healthy whole food options very happily and I'm hoping they will have a knock on impact on his swimmers too.

Hope the headache has shifted?

Barking I hope you managed an enjoyable rest of day yesterday without giving yourself too much of a hard time. Love the jam sandwich analogy Fiz! No other fucker TTC rests after every sechsing just incase, I'm certain that if its gonna work, it will work regardless of the jiggling you gave it. now try to chill and help those cortisol levels down to make sure they're not blocking the receptors of your important baby making hormones. And have an arm rub and the squid of solace from me. It will all be OK what ever the outcome.

I'm reading a book about female hormones at the moment, sooo interesting and it details vitamin C as having a positive impact on short luteal phase as it raises progesterone levels at doses of 750mg/day. You may already be familiar with this but thought I'd pass it on just incase.

How frustrating that ROCH doesn't understand. TWH can be a bit like that too - it's not that he doesn't want to be supportive it's just that he thinks the feeding is important and wants to give me yummy stuff rather than the stuff I've decided is healthy. It's taken him a while to catch up! He is now obsessed with veg which is wonderful and I feel quite proud of that - it was quite a fight to get there but now he shouts at the telly when adverts don't show enough veg on a plate . Keep going with him Chez - he'll get there! In the meantime however you may need to be head chef in order to encourage it

Still have a banging head - have cracked open an old jar of tiger balm to rub on my temples and back of head and that seems to be softening it a bit but it's still growling in the background. Grrr back.

Soz for the rambling post last night - think the drucks may be taking a hold!

I didn't know that about vitamin c - interesting stuff. My aim is to get all my rda through my diet as much as I can. I used to take all sorts of vits and ended up feeling really rubbish as I was overdoing them and they all end up cancelling out the good effects so I cleared back and only took very specific vits for anything I felt I was lacking in (vit b at the time). It frustrates me now that I have to take a multivit as it's the only way I can get the right type of folic acid because of my bloomin MTHFR problem but I guess it's a means to an end. I'm rattling at the moment as I've got pregnacare Max with omega 3, dexamethasone, vit d and aspirin every morning. All going towards a good cause though .

Barking how are you feeling today? Chill day planned??

I had a dream last night that I had identical twin girls. This is the first time I've ever dreamt that I actually had a baby. Is this A SIGN?? Lol!

Fizzy, fab and cherry thank you so much hags, you are keeping me sane. In hindsight, I was being a little ridiculous thinking it was all going to shake out, but you know how paranoia gets you. I suppose if that was a risk at all then they'd make you lie down with your legs in the air at the hospital before you leave. Which they don't . Nuff said.
I'm feeling totally and utterly exhausted today. Got to bed gone midnight after a two hour drive back from the wedding that we sneaked out of early. I got out of bed his morning purely to do my pessary and have pancakes, and then went back to bed. I'm still there now with the dog snoring at my feet. Pleasant dog walk planned this afternoon . Heavily pregnant friend due near my 2nd due date has asked if I can take her dog out as well as she's off to Idea no doubt for baby stuff I said I would pick her up after she had left (I have a key). She offered to bring her around on her way out but I said it was fine to pick her up it's no problem. What I really meant was I'm quite happy to spend time with your dog but if I see your bump I'm going to run screaming.

Fab I need to expand my range of healthy cooking. I'm starting to go round in circles. What I'm really bad at is trying new recipes. I tend to stick to the ones I know i'm going to like as I can't be bothered spending hours cooking something that we might not want to eat.
Hope the headache eases soon. I didn't even notice a rambling post last night! I think the dream is definitely a sign. Do twins count as a 2 bfp score for the hags?!

cherry I was taking 1000 milligrams of vitamin c as well as vitamin b6 to try and lengthen my luteal phase before we started on the iui. It may or may not have had one day difference. Perhaps with a few more months it might have done.
It sounds like roch needs to read a good book on food groups!

A chill out sounds a good idea Barking, not surprised you're feeling shattered today after such a rollercoaster. Continued COW to you and COO's of the Scottish variety to Fab and Fiz!

I've just ordered a load more vits off tinterweb to support this upcoming cycle, Vit D and Calcium which the clinic have recommended (I normally take Calcium with Magneium and the nutritionist recommended one which also has l-theanine, taurine, glutamine, B vitamins, and vitamin C in it which is all great stuff to sooth immune ishoos) then probiotics for healthy hormones and guts and fish oil for the omega-ness.

Feeling good to be doing positive things towards this cycle and also relived to have submitted my tax return this morning too!

Ooh, identical twin girls Fab, it IS a sign, believing it can happen for us is a good start! We have already signed to say we'll have two put back if we can. Have you guys made any decisions? Apparently in 5 years the nurse has only had two incidences of putting two back and getting triplets because of an egg splitting...!

Today sounds like a much more reasonable Sunday for you Barking - enjoy

Well done on all your proactivity Cherry - it sounds like it's definitely the right thing for you and as you say it's good to be doing something that could actually make a difference. I've started on the protein shakes - sooo filling! I had one of them and one gluten free pancake and am full and feeling guilty I haven't had any veg - gah! Having roast dinner with the inlaws so will have to max out on the veg at their place instead.

I think OMGIVFTWINZ definitely count as a 2 for the BESH. Keep yer fingers crossed for me hags! We've had 3 put back in twice now because of my great age but they were at 3 days. We are pushing to get to blastocyst stage this time so it depends in what we have left and what quality but I'd say we'd go for 2 if we can. We're ok with twins - we don't know any different. Sage advice from those who have them say if you have twins first then that's all you know and coping is fine. If you have them 2nd or 3rd (eek as a friend did!) then it's way way harder. So we should be fine . Please please please.

Fingers cross for the twinz win!

Sorry Hags, the app hates me. It's spent weeks booting me out (only from this fred, mind!) and last night deleted my very long response to everyone. So instead, just hi!

Barking, I know I should already know this but, what has made you take the iui route rather than ivf? (My local clinic seems very pro ivf for everything so just wonderin, if that's ok?) fingers crossed for some berries growing out of those sticky jam pips (you know what i mean, am trying to stick with the analogy)

Urrgggh Chez now you skilled at it - wanna do my tax returns too???

Blue purely because our clinic offers 3 rounds of iui but only one round of ivf. Didn't want to jump to ivf before using all our options. They only give it a success rate of 13%, but it's less invasive. And of course, it did work for us last time...

Thanks (am, of course, totally stealing everyone else's knowledge gained from hard earned experience to plot my path)

Mr Blue in spaff clinic in 2 weeks. Annoying wipes out a chance of a natural go that months as I ov at the same time he has to save his stuff up ...

Our clinic say the sample (in this case for iui) should be 3 days after the last time the tubes have been cleared, as it were. So we dtd on Thurs, then the sample was done Saturday. I should have ov'd yesterday or today and the swimmers can tread water for 5 days or more, so technically Thursday's swimmers could do the job for us. I've told DCW I want another deposit tonight as I've had bad cramps on the right today (and that's the side the two large follicles were on) so I'm assuming I'm ovulating today, and the nurses told me the egg hangs around like a hussy for 12 hours possibly not her words so it's worth another go for insurance...

Basically, that was a very long winded way of saying you don't have to miss the opportunity this month!!!

All detail needed and gratefully received

(I am wanting to be excited about where you are up to in this journey and the possibility .... Hope... But I also know this isn't easy so ... Just hake of hope and panga of possibility)

Ta Blue . I meant weds in my last post, but the message stays the same!!! Still able to ttc and produce a sample the same month .

I am feeling quite calm today. Maybe it's because I am totally exhausted and not able to feel anything else! Need to find something to do next weekend - DCW is away on a boys wkd and I've got the dog. Will need to plan a distraction so I don't go crazy. I think the next two weeks at work might drag. Very glad otd will be a Saturday so I have the wkd to let the result digest instead of being in work. However last time I caved in and tested early. Must. Be. Strong.

Nope! The annoyance of one tax return is quite enough thanks Blue! I don't care what they say, it bloody is taxing!

Squee, Barking you're kicking us off with the first active 2ww in aaaages. COW! We're all rooting for this to work for you. A distraction technique is a good idea.

All crossed for your OMGIVFTWINZ win Fab, that would be amazing hey? I'm a twin myslef, my gran has a twin brother and my sis in law has twins too so I guess it doesn't really phase me too much. You can totally tell that back to me if this shizzle works out and I end up tearing my hair out! oh please let me tempt fate

Hello all, I'm new to this forum (and a refugee from another). 35, and ttc for 12 months, booked in for preliminary investigations next month. Here is my Beshtionnaire for approval.

1. Gin: yes, with three wedges of lime and tonic, please.
2. Gold-digger.
3. (c)
4. (a)
5. (b) I guess, though I dislike C3P0 more.
6. 0, thanks to Evil Landlords. Sometimes I think I might be more broody for a puppy than a baby.
7. James Spader.
8. Emma Stone.
9. (c) I don't even want to think about how much I spend. I might as well have been pissing on the tenners themeselves, of course.

10. (c) and why I am a refugee. 11. (a)

I'll take some time to acquaint myself with the thread.

Yay, someone new! I'm a fan of you already, wedges of lime, a love of puppies and real life experience of the war with the baby dusters!

Barking, distraction is a good good plan. chez. Eek to all the twins. Some IVF twinz would fit well in your family then (cos now whenever I see twinz, all I can think is IVF??)

I have horrible acne - in the past the only thing that clears it up is a course of medication, but if I take it I have to not TTC for 3 months. It's bothering me, a lot. I hate that I have to choose between clear skin and spending 3 months trying for a baby that won't come anyway (didn't mind the break when I took to course of meds 2.5 years ago!)