The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

[barkingtreefrog]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Yay well done Fankle!! All sounds a bit scary though - EEEK! Who's left in the PESH now? Do you actually go into their gaff then Chez? I've always thought as I'm not a grad that I shouldn't venture in - not that I believe in fate bollox at all but you know...tempting fate...

Hey fuck it - go go go the cluster diff yeh!!!

I'm home for a few days whilst my other sis takes over on mum duty so I get to spend time with my lovely TWH again. I do miss him heaps when I'm away . Plus I have my downreg scan tomorrow - fingers crossed for a perfectly inactive womb and lovely thin lining so we can go go go!

nipple tassels ahoy for fanklet!!! that is fantastic news, hopefully dank can stop by when she's able for a full update.

good luck for tomorrow fab - sending doreys of dormancy for a perfectly quiet womble.

good luck to you and ROCH too chez!!!

and welcome back coop - no idea on immune ishoos I'm afraid, can your throat even be linked to your vag? learn something new every day!!
Have a 'keep the faith' koi for now chick

argh, fank not dank!

Damn - forgot the nipple tassles - waving them now with gay abandon as TWH has woken me up with an elbow to the face!

Coop read Is My Body Baby Friendly for all immune ishoos. It's the business - everything you could ever want to know and more :)

Chez I'm very impressed with your will power at stopping all those lovely things. No cake for you then? That's my treat that I look forward to when I get out of egg collection - a nice slice of cake and a chai latte!

Well done on the fish choices Rain - you've upped the game!

Sqqquuuuuueeeeeeee!!!!!!! A real life BESHlet!!!!!! Go fankle !!!!

chez I am in awe of your ability to do that diet. Kudos to you.

coop sorry the droid got you. Sounds worth getting that book.

Fab everything crossed for your scan today, give us an update!! I don't stray into the PESH either, even for a peek, feels like forbidden territory. Didn't even go in after my last bfp, I don't think I'd ever feel properly pregnant until after 12 weeks.

I'm sat in the clinic again. Feel totally exhausted (cheated and drove here, I'm usually on the bike but couldn't face it this morning). I've seen two couples come in for theatre (they get sent to a separate waiting area and they're all carrying bags) and felt strangely emotional. Everything is so heavily invested, isn't it?

Hags, you have to watch this!!!

Pregnant Women are Smug by Garfunkel and Oates:

Morning all, sorry I've been a bad BESH of late. Busy busy with work stuff.

barking hope scan goes well today and the timing works out. FC waiting rooms are indeed odd. I was in on weds for the mock cycle scan - another couple were there for what I assume was an early pg scan; they went off to a different part that I've never been in and I felt suddenly teary a the thought. Maybe one day I'll get to go to the bit where actually getting up the duff happens, instead of spending forever in limbo! BUT good news on the scan - lining has reached 6.5mm on day 12 which is the best ever measurement. Hurrah! The plan still is to do a nedicated cycle but hopefully without quite so much oestrogen this time.

Back later for proper catching up.

chez, I know nothing either, just finding it very strange that I've had a sore throat which has then faded away to nothing, at the same point of each cycle... I usually only get a sore throat at the start of a cold. Poor ROCH, hope he did ok (was it today? I can't go back a page on my phone without losing what I've written, sorry!)

How did the scan go fab? And how's your mum doing?
And thanks for the book recommendation, ordered it this morning.

What was your appointment for today barking? How did it go? I hate the fc waiting room with a passion, as soon as I get in there I get nervous and anxious and angry. Mainly angry.

Hello (and lots of gin) to everyone (else)

Thankfully my clinic isn't in a hospital so everyone is going through the same thing more or less - we are united in infertility! The only time I had to mix with the diffed was when I had my erpc so there was definitely a lot of jealousy and sadness as they wandered around blissfully ignorant of our sad story.

Love the song rain! I tittered my way through it and then hoped that if this cycle works out that I don't become one of the smug. Eek. 'My life had no meaning before I got pregnant' - grrrr instant rage!!!

All good with the scan so am starting stims this evening - woohoo! COW!! COO (come on ovaries!)!! Time to get strongly on that PMA wagon and concentrate. Oh and eat protein til it's coming out of my ears.

Mum's chest infection is on the mend but she isn't seemingly getting any better at the moment. PMA is not something she knows about. :(

Barking how'd it go? And did you manage to get any extra storage in there as you planned?? I couldn't remember what the deal was with sex pre egg collection so asked today. They said we were fine to do it but I'd probably want to stop by day 8 as it may start to become uncomfortable but well done to me for wanting to anyway! Told TWH I'd been given a gold star by the clinic and he should think himself lucky! In reality I just want to make sure he's got plenty of fresh swimmers ;)

Argh- jizz storage!!

fizz Excellent news on the lining, have a cabili of congratulations! Will you be all go next cycle?

Fab COO!!!!!! Have an eagle ray of encouragement.

coop I'm halfway through my second round of iui.

It's all go here! The lovely, lovely nurses have squeezed me in first thing tomorrow morning so I can still make it to Manchester in time to take my sister to Strictly Come Dancing!!
DCW will go in at 8 to leave his deposit, and I'm in at 10.15 . I'll then get a taxi to the train station.

I'd like to say I can then get the train home again and chill out, but I'll be meeting DCW and driving over to a wedding reception. Won't know anyone but the bride. Only met the groom once. Not exactly where I want to be but feel obliged, especially as she texted this week to check I was still OK to come....

Oh, and yes, Fab, we managed to get some in the bag waiting... [wink That was Weds night so Sat is the optimum 3 days later for the best quality swimmers . We'll probably do a top up on Sunday just in case... That should cover all bases!

Trigger shot done.

I do foray over there now and again Fab just to check in on the old crew. Only MissH and Cwordy left to lay and then a whole lot of tumbleweed while we wait to get out wins. I tell you it's high time for some BESH BFPs.

Lovely lining Fiz, whoop for the start of stimms Fab, COO to yoouu! Yay for lovely nurses Barking and for shoehorning everything in, including packing a sneaky one for max effect. Good effort lady!

We were back in clinic this morning too, complete with awkward waiting room shananigans. Bad news ROCH has really got the heebies over producing the goods. He managed it at home, just, with much stressing, only for most of it to land up on the carpet instead of in the pot. needless to say it wasn't accepted. Bad times. Third time lucky hopefully and we'll be freezing some of that for luck.

Still, we've gone through our protocol, signed our donor acceptance and heard what an amazing, lovely lady she is, and super intelligent and slim. All of which is reassuring and heartwarming to hear and makes it feel even more right.

So, deciding to stick to this immune diet shiz is easy when I want to make these baybees so much and win our boy girl IVFTWINZ innit. PMA right Fab? Does the immune book you recommended have changes you can make yourself or is it all technical stuff?

Oh yeah and did I mention what pure genius is Pregnant Women are Smug? Laughed my arse off, thanks for the arfs Barking.

How frustrating for you and ROCH Chez, must be hard to perform under pressure. Donor sounds great though
DCW has never admitted to an issue with providing his sample, which is good as he has to do it at the hospital at 8am! But he's ridiculously laid back about most areas of life. One of us has to be...
I'm having that awkward 'no one is going to win' type of discussion with him at the moment. I thought as the treatment was on a Saturday that he'd come with me to the hospital. You know, be there at the potential conception of his child and all that. Possibly just to want to be there to support me (I went on my own last time as he didn't want to take more time off work). But his mates are going for a run in the morning, and he's got time to do his bit and then get there in time for the run. He said he'd pay for a taxi to get me from the hospital to the train station as he wouldn't be able to give me a lift.
Now he's doing the 'do you want me there?' thing. Well, no, not unless you wanted to be there, which you clearly didn't. And he's now said he's coming and being a bloody martyr about it!! Grr.

Good god Barking, TWH doesn't get an option - he's there for egg collection and transfer. No argument, no discussion he just is. I would go fucking mental (and I don't often do fucking mental) if he wasn't. He seriously thinks going for a run is more important?? WTAF? This is the potential start of the rest of your lives - time to get involved - you're doing it together!!

Too strong?? ??blame it on the hormones! But really Barking. I'm with you on this. He needs to get involved!

Sorry, I hope you don't think that was an arsey message - I'm just frustrated on your behalf lovely. Have the very necessary carpsucker of calm and I'll slap myself with one too whilst I'm here ;)

fab I love it! If it was IVF I'd be insisting. I think sometimes he just doesn't realise what it's like. He had a late start on weds due to snow so I told him he could come to the scan with me. When we got there I was very chatty with the nurse, feeling quite relaxed, and laughed when he offered to hold my hand - how many of these things have I done now?! He didn't seem to understand that I wanted him there in case it was bad news - no follies, too many follies, etc. I wasn't expecting bad news as I was trying to be positive so I didn't need to squeeze his hand all the way through the scan like the scans I've had after a bfp and bleeding. He felt a bit redundant, like he wasn't needed. But he might have been...
The same for this bit. They're just squirting the stuff up me, why does he need to be there? Well, for me it's quite an emotional moment! Plus, last time I cried in pain as the thing they use to wedge you open (words not working this morning) was incredibly painful. They ended up taking out the metal one and using a plastic one instead to make it slightly more bearable.
Anyway, he's coming.
But it is frustrating. I wanted him to want to be there. But then I sound like some stupid female playing games. Him saying 'do you want me there' and me saying 'not unless you want to be' which is clearly not the case as otherwise he wouldn't be asking if I wanted him there. His initial reaction when I asked if he wanted to be there at the possible conception of his child (I actually put it like that) was to laugh and offer the taxi, so he's clearly only coming because he thinks he should after I brought it up last night.
It's just semantics, I know, but grr. The way he's now giving up his run to be the dutiful husband really rankles!!! Try fucking injecting yourself! And going to the hospital 4 days in a row!!! And having to give up all alcohol and exercise (well, the kind I like to do) which basically strips you of all your fun, any ability to pursue a goal and your usual social life in one go totally worth it if works, but an additional slap I. the face if it doesn't
And relax..... Just woken up from a dream in which he had 'forgotten' to go for his sperm sample at 8 and I was still lying there in hospital waiting for treatment unaware of the reason for the delay.... And now I'm awake because he's snoring!!

Small update. He's now apologised and said he was being selfish. When I asked him why he didn't want to come in the first place he said he thought he'd just be standing around. Well yes. By the same token, when he does his ironman, I'd just be standing around if I went with him...

Phew! Men and their thoughts are a completely different beast to women and our thoughts and it can just get bloody confusing. I've just talked this through with TWH as I thought he might provide some interesting insight and he reminded me that he just doesn't do the 'I want you to want this' thing - it instantly gets his goat. So if I want him to do something with me I have to say ' I want you to do this'. I don't even need to follow it up with 'I need you to do this' although sometimes I do and realise we're getting into dangerous territory! It was a hard thing to learn - I've spent my life being all about the subtlety, reading the subtext etc and it was really hard to stop all that and say it like it is but he just doesn't understand it otherwise and this way is so much less stressful! If I say I want him to do something (and I'm not including everyday stuff in this - it rarely works with laundry for example!) then he instantly knows it's important to me. If it's important to me, then by inference it's important to him which then pushes it into the category of him doing something because he wants to do it. If that makes sense??

There's a big difference between dutiful husband and caring, thoughtful supportive husband who is responsive to your needs Barking. I get it and while it's only done out of boy logic, not of malice it's still frustrating. Still, the day is nigh! Gob fishes of good luck to you this morning and for a sticky one!

Fab it's OK, there are gluten, dairy etc. free puddings so all is not lost!

Chez the immune book was mainly about the technical stuff - doing the intralipids, clexane, aspirin, prednisolone etc. it's been a while since I read it (and it's currently in the garage in storage so I can't check it I'm afraid grrrr) but I don't remember if they had any blurb about food immune ishoos. Anyone who ever watched the food doctor prog that was on the telly for a while can clearly see the impact food can have on the body though. I had quite an extensive chat with my nutritionist though and we decided to keep a balanced nutritious diet was the important thing for me rather than cutting anything out at this stage as I haven't got any obvious signs of ishoos eith any of those foods. I guess only time will tell on that one. I've got my whey protein arriving today so it's time to start proteining up. Yuck - I really don't like eating that much - I'm happiest with a little protein and a lot of veg but needs must! PMA is definitely the way forward now :)

Good news on your donor - how exciting!! So when will you get to go??

Oh, I don't do subtlety, Fab, I've always been a say it like it is, I don't do dropping hints. In this example I went on my own last time and I'd have gone on my own again (and would genuinely prefer to do this rather than asking him to be there and him playing the martyr). I've done the 'I want you to be there' line for tonight - if I'm going to a wedding reception where I know only the bride he's coming with me... This is different though, I genuinely thought he would see that this making a baby thing is a 'together' thing and given how much of it he isn't a part of (injections, blood tests, scans) I just thought he would want to be there, and was quite disappointed when he didn't.
He's apologised again and returned from his jizz test with . I think he's got the message.

Thanks Fab, that's really helpful. If it won't change things this time as our protocol is set then I probs won't buy the book yet! My thinking is the diet won't do any harm and it could make a big difference - both at cellular level and to my PMA like I'm able to do something that might help. not that I'm a control freak obvs

Good luck with the whey protein, I've also thought about protein sup but I wouldn't know where to start on getting a good quality one. No eggs to produce at least.

Jury is out on exactly when. Clinic reckon heading for TX end of Feb, looking more like early March to me with when they want me to be on norehisterone, go for scratch etc. but I was told firmly to let them worry about that yesterday when I queried it I Repeat again, I'm really not a control freak. I just need to be able to clear the work diary.

It looks like scratch will be done in the final run up to TX, does this sound right? I'm trying hard to just go with it.