The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

[barkingtreefrog]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

So glad to hear the system is kicking in to help Fab, much fish be with you while you battle through this - and take all the cups of tea you can get to keep your energy and your spirits up.

It's all falling into place Barking, so what if it's a day early or not this is your treatment damn it. Wicked to hear you've a back up plan for Saturday too. Phew-ee! Just the Arctic weather to overcome now... Fingers crossed it's not an added drama.

It's snowing. It's settling. And it's not forecast to stop until 4 tomorrow afternoon...
But all is good. Google tells me that it will only take me 59 minutes to walk to the hospital. Plus a little bit extra if it's really snowy. So I'm going to jump in the shower now, lay out my clothes for the morning, and set my alarm for 6 so if necessary I can set off early on foot .
Just have to cross my fingers that the nurses will have made it in as well!!

Sounds like you have everything under control Barking. Excellent work.

Apart from DCW. Don't have him under control. Noticed the good old ewcm this evening so approached DCW but he was tired... It's only cd9 so I shouldn't panic, but I would like some reserve swimmers up there in case the ones squirted up the tube miss the mark . And he's supposed to refrain for 3 days pre his sample, so when I don't take no for an answer tomorrow night (he's already been informed this will be the case) that might be the only advanced party sent in, as it were....

Oh, ffs, I'm an idiot. I have no idea how I've got this so screwed up in my head. I've counted all my days wrong. I could count this on my fingers, how the hell did I get this wrong?! I've only done 7 injections, not 8. Today is cd9, so the original scan was booked quite correctly for cd10!! What the fuck? How did I manage to fail to count to 9?!?
Feel like a complete twat.
And the snow means that getting to the hospital will require extra effort on a day when I don't need to go, but now that I've requested it I feel like I can't just not show up. Bah.

Oh Barking what a pickle! So so frustrating and totally pain in the arsey but also, in times to come (not right at this moment obvs!) it will make a great story :). Have the high backed headstander of humour (yes that's actually a fish - I looked him up!) and be pleased you're getting an extra check and happy that they were super nice and helpful with you :). Have a chin shuck too!

How did it go Barking?

Hope it went ok Barking.

So took an OPK even though it's only day 6 of my cycle, mainly because I felt some strange cramping and had ewcm and thought 'weird'.... and got a faint line. The kind of line I get the day before a positive OPK, or 2-3 days before ovulating.

This is bonkers. Now I'm thinking we may be able to give this month a go, if I ovulate a whole week before I normally do... but really?? It's never happened in the 2.5 years I've tracking my cycles.

Has anyone had the same?

Erica I had ewcm yesterday on cd8, that's unheard of for me. My cycles are very unpredictable at the moment. It can sometimes take me a 2 or 3 days to get a strong opk line after a faint opk line, so might not be completely ridiculous. Must be something in the water....

Scan went fine. Nurse was lovely. Got three follicles on one side, two around 14mm, one 10, and another smaller one on the other side. This is ok. More than two leading follicles would mean cycle over due to risk of multiples. Just called for my blood results and have to go back tomorrow. Essentially I didn't need to go today and will probably end up going on Friday as well at least as they need to be 18mm before the trigger shot. I was surprised they want me back tomorrow and are not leaving it for two days given they've got 4mm still to grow. Oh well. My fault, and they were very nice about it .

That's interesting Barking - I usually ov on day 15-16 so this was a bit of a shocker. Oh god. I am going to be so much more annoyed if we miss this month for 1-2 days, instead of for a whole week, like we initially thought. Ah well. I had already written January off so better not get my hopes up.

Great news about the follies Barking! I imagine it's a bit of pain to get there in the snow but so good that they are keeping an eye on you and not taking any chances!

Good news on the scan barking - I'm sure these clinics have dealt with everything you can imagine so don't go feeling embarrassed about going in early. FX for a fat juicy follie in the next few days!

fab hope you and your family are ok. Really glad to hear the system is working for your mum, so much bad press around this topic at the moment it seems. I hope she's recuperating well.

erica despite always having had textbook 28/29 day cycles, which would suggest I ovulate around day 14-16, when I used to use a CBFM it always had me on 'high' fertility basically from the first day it started asking for piss sticks, which was usually about cd6! I never trusted it! Last couple of cycles I've had ewcm and abdominal twinges around cd10 which I guess is possible!

chez I hope ROCH is ok. I can't offer any words of wisdom really, just a shoulder punch of solidarity for him from me. RAF is pretty stoic about our situation - I know he does get frustrated by it but he definitely has an optimistic outlook and doesn't show emotion easily. Despite having gone through the miscarriage only a year or so ago, the only time I've ever seen him cry was last week when Rainycat was put to sleep!
Speaking of whom we got home this evening to find a really lovely card to us both from the vet who treated Rainycat, made me weep all over the place yet again - really nice thing of her to do.

Off to hospital tomorrow to get our blood tests done for our referral - had the secretary for our doc call me today to chase where they were! Sort of annoying that our referral appt was just a few days too late to get them done last cycle but glad it's nearly done now.

Erica I don't understand what you mean about missing this cycle for a couple of days?

rain how lovely of the vet.

I got to the clinic at 7.45 and I'm still waiting. Only two nurses doing bloods and scans and there are currently 16 women waiting.... I've had my bloods, but looks like I went back to the bottom of the queue for the scan. So much for discreetly slipping into work!

I have to say that mum's respite care is great. They are a really caring overworked bunch of people. They are all exhausted - the place is heaving and there aren't enough of them (as with anything in this industry it seems - unfortunately there aren't enough people who want to be carers, and let's face it, it's a tough job for poor money) and they are always lovely with their patients. Mum's home specialises in people with dementia so there's a fair amount of wailing going on - it comes with the territory unfortunately as does the undercurrent smell of wee/poo (so many people are incontinent at this stage :( ). It doesn't mean they aren't being cared for - they are constantly cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, highly aware of cross contamination etc. Yesterday mum didn't feel well enough at lunchtime to eat then decided at 3pm suddenly that she was quite peckish. No problem, they'd saved her lunch so just heated it up and brought it back for her and it was with her in minutes. There are bad people about who run bad ships but I'm happy this far that the care mum is getting is significantly better than what she could ever get at home without causing some serious problems. My poor sis cared for mum when she was really very poorly at home and basically didn't get any sleep for 3 days. It's just not possible for one person to do it. We need these care homes and their amazing staff.

Barking good luck today - go follies :)

Rain, how lovely of your vet - no wonder you blubbed! Don't forget to drink loads of water before your bloods - it makes a real difference to the veins.

Erica I have no idea I'm afraid - I did the ov piss sticks for a few months but they just confirmed that my 28/29 day cycle was very standard and that I ovulated around day 14/15 and that when I felt like I was ovulating, I was! Do we have an ov expert in the house who can help?

Fab I am sat here with a coffee at the moment - will get on to the water as soon as it's drained!
I used to be a care assistant (while I was studying so many years ago now!) so I know exactly what you're talking about. You're right that most people want to provide the best they can - bureaucracy and lack of funding will always be pushing hard in the opposite direction but if you like the staff then that's a good sign. It was a hard job, physically and emotionally, but ultimately one I felt good about doing - all you have to do is remind yourself that it will be you one day to know why it's so important that our elderly population are looked after with gentleness, care and dignity. Glad your Mum is being well looked after.

barking i hope you've been seen now? Have you ever got chatting to any of the other women waiting or is it not that sort of atmosphere? I am (despite my 10 year hardcore London Commuter badge of honour) quite a chatterbox in those sorts of situations!

Went through the reams of forms that i need to take to the hospital later for these blood tests and re-discovered the home chlamydia test swab I was supposed to do too. Dammit! Well, I don't want to delay things any further so I have done that today too but (TMI alert) doing a vag swab on day 2 of your period is not pretty. Lucky that you can do it during a period otherwise that'd be another 5 days!

Fab, so glad to hear that your mum's carers are so thoughtful and lovely. I had the same experience with my mum and grandparents and I couldn't be more grateful.

Barking We had to write January and February off in terms of TTC because we won't be together at the right time, due to work commitments.

However, if I do ovulate super early, we may have a chance...Unlikely though! I meant that I am going to be even more pissed off if we miss this cycle for one or two days, rather than a whole week, like we initially thought. Sod's law!

Basically, I'm away from Monday to Sunday. I expected to ovulate on the Friday, so we thought 'oh well, next time (or the next after that, actually)!'

But since I got a faint line on OPK yesterday, I'm hoping against hope I will get positive OPK maybe tomorrow or Saturday and we could, ahem, give it a whirl on Sunday and even Monday morning.

But if I end up ovulating, say on Wednesday, I will be annoyed my ov happened early FOR NOTHING!

Basically, I'm away from Monday to Sunday. I expected to ovulate on the Friday, so we thought 'oh well, next time (or the next after that, actually)!'

But since I got a faint line on OPK yesterday, I'm hoping against hope I will get positive OPK maybe tomorrow or Saturday and we could, ahem, give it a whirl over the week end.

But if I end up ovulating, say, on Wednesday, I will be annoyed my ov happened early FOR NOTHING!

Fab sounds like she's being very well cared for, it's such a relief when you're not worrying about the standard of care on top of the worry about them as well.

rain no, never spoken to anyone or heard anyone else speak to anyone other than their spouse. It's very strange.

Erica bear with me I'm being very slow today. Do you mean you'll be apart from a couple of days before the fertile time rather than a week before, so you'll only just miss it? Those little swimmers can tread water for up to 7 days you know, never lose hope....

Scan showed a 16mm and 14mm follicle. I thought they'd wait until it was 18 but the nurse said if my hormones were up I'd be good to go, you can get pg from follicles above 13mm. But if I was I told they want them above 18mm that's not great, is it? Anyway, will find out this afternoon whether it's all go on Saturday. That would make otd a Saturday as well, which would be far preferable than a Monday morning, even if ruins the plans for this wkd.

Barking I am not explaining myself very well, but yes, that's the gist of it. Let's see what the OPK says tonight!

Mmmhh...I think if they think that 16mm and 14mm are a go, they probably are. And I would definitely prefer to have it on the Saturday and spend the whole week end in the sofa than on a Monday...

Let us know what they say!

On the sofa, even.

Hags, don't know what's wrong with me today. BRAIN SAYS NO.

Ooo, brain hurts!!! I stupidly made conversation with the nurse this morning, mentioning my possible Saturday plans. When I called for my results they said I should come in for another blood test tomorrow morning as I had a bit of leeway with my follicles only being 14/16, but she also said something about possibly squeezing me in Saturday morning and it all sounded like they were trying to make me ovulate at the most convenient time for me! Bless them, but this comes first, I want it at the best time to make it happen!!! Totally confused as last time I took the trigger shot 72 hours before, but for it to go ahead Saturday morning I'd need to take the trigger shot now. She said sometimes it doesn't need that long. Also, that I might be about to ovulate on my own and I wouldn't need it at all. This is mind boggling, on a normal cycle I wouldn't ovulate until very late, and last time there was no sign of me ovulating on my own. All very, very befuddling .

So, just retreating back into 'I don't know yet' rather than trying to make any sense of it, and waiting until tomorrow afternoon when I should find out what's happening....

Can't concentrate on work at all. Getting sod all done.

Evening hags, I'm back, for a while at least, to coincide with the arrival of the first droid of 2015, second clomid cycle failed. I feel spookily calm and something in me has concluded that this is over and it's never going to happen now. I'm scaring myself a bit to be honest, I don't know what's going on. I have also convinced myself that I have some kind of immune problem - I've checked FF and of the last 12 cycles I've had a sore throat for a couple of days around 10dpo, including last week.

Me, me, me. How are my fellow BESH doing?

Yo hags, sounds like I'm in good company in the brain fry department?! Barking I can't really help on the confuddlingness apart from to say yay for lovely nurses. I'd be the same as you though - 'don't compromise the treatment for my convenience, I'll move heaven and earth to have it as text book as possible thank you please'. Pensive people in FC waiting rooms never speak though hey? Weird! Erica, Barking, we need Merk out of CRESH for ov questions.

Fab you are so right, caring is such a vocation and those who do it well deserve our utmost respect and thanks. When my sis was ill the nurses who tended to her especially in her final days were incredible. Glad to hear your mum is in a good place and your sis has been getting some rest too. As for the high backed headstander, THAT is frigging awesome.

Thanks for asking Rain, ROCH has gone back into de Nile mode which is a bit frustrating. He is stressing about the jizzing in a pot action which has to happen tomorrow. We're back in clinic for sperm analysis, consent form signing and injection training. Also I got my blood results back for TSH yesterday; 2.89. Reading the consultant's letter this means they want me on thyroxine for this cycle as well.

Arm rubs for you and the tearful RAF over Rainycat. Lovely vet, sob! Lob of fish that the referral comes through soon.

Peckers up BESH collective, we're so doing this thing.

Coops!

Good to see you back 'ol mucker. Sorry about the cycle fail though. Have the cherub fish of comfort and a BESHly arm rub. I don't really know about the significance of sore throats at ovulation linked to immunology but it definitely sounds like a pattern appearing. I'm on day 6 of a no gluten, dairy, soy, corn diet to improve autoimmune response and although tis early days I have to say my big patch of ragey eczema feels less angry and I'm hoping it might be having an effect.

Stick at it. Calm is good even if it is a shock, I think we have to accept where we are right now and notice good things that happen amongst this shit.

Hang the cuntbunting hags, get out the nipple tassels! Happy news- Fankel has laid a blue one over on PESH fred. A scary exit job by all accounts that needed emergency sun roof but doing well. or maybe gin is more appropriate?!

Only two PESH remaining now it goes without saying we'd all dearly love to get our win and skip over there to fill the dearth. Come on the Feb clusterdiff!