The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

[barkingtreefrog]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

Why don't you give them a call on it Barking and just get some clarity - it's your body, you just want to know the 'why's'. And 'it's because that's what the doc said' isn't an answer!

I so know that waking thing - it's really annoying isn't it. I'm always awake before TWH and it drives me mad when I'm staring up at the ceiling in the early hours. Sweating like a good'un all night here too. Nice. Think I'm heading for a period today which is good and means all is working as it should.

Definitely give the clinic a call barking if this is going to prey on your mind.

Fab sorry to hear your mum is unwell, although good news that she's perking up.

Chez yay for coconut steed! Good luck getting ROCH off the sofa - I've been attached to ours all weekend even tho I am going a bit stir crazy now - there's only so many episodes of Columbo I can watch but the weather is rubbish and I just don't feel like being sociable.
Could totally do with some of Ericas poolside life right now - hope you've been enjoying the footloose and fancy free lifestyle in the sun this weekend Erica.

Blue it might be worth checking if any of your nearby clinics do open evenings. We went to one (which will hopefully be our nhs option) last year and it was really useful and just good to get an idea of what private ivf costs etc.

The Rainy household is muddling along this weekend, you don't realise how big a hole one small cat can leave! Rainycat #2 is being much more domestic and cuddly at the moment (he's normally a bit of a loner) - even slept on the bed last night.

Awaiting the droid either tomorrow or tues, then it's off for (hopefully you) last ever day 2 bloods plus a couple of other blood tests that are needed for our ivf referral then it'll just be waiting for the letter to come through. Need to make sure we have a busy Feb lined up to minimise the obsessing.

Barking I am my clinic's nightmare, I ask everything 50 times, ask for reassurance, call again, actually say things like 'but I read on the internet that...'. And I don't think anyone really minds. The whole process is stressful enough as it is, and anyone working 'this field' should understand that.

Chez Yay for the boys feeling better. I do like a week end in the sofa myself, I must say.

My week end was nice and ourtdoors-ey. There was another pregnancy announcement but, whatever. Fuck it.

I don't get so many adoption comments. More like 'if you stopped stressing about it...' which makes me rather murderous!

Ah yes that old chestnut - anyone who says 'if you stop thinking about it...' Should be burnt at the stake in my books!

I feel rubbish . Think the downreg drugs are kicking in. Bleurgh bleurgh bleurgh. And mum is going downhill again. It's going to be a challenging few days I suspect.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. Did I mention FUCK?
After the call to the nurse last week when she said it was important to take the injection at the same time every day I set an alarm. And I got DCW to set an alarm. Trouble is, to make sure I took it at the right time, DCW's alarm is 10 minutes before and I set my alarm 5 minutes before the time. So DCW's alarm went off and I thought 'just got time to start the pancakes' then my alarm went off and I thought 'I'll just nip to the toilet' and then I came down and finished the pancakes and we sat and watched a TV programme and then I suddenly started shouting FUCK! as I realised I'd completely forgotten to do the injection. .
2 hours late.

Argh!!!
Sorry. Will catch up later. Just needed to scream .

Aarghhhh to the timing cock up, but mmmm to the pancakes!
I'm sure it won't be the end of the world just this once but I can imagine how annoyed you must be feeling - have a sympathetic tuna of timekeeping.
I am always doing things like that - going off to do one job and them getting distracted by fifty other things. I am going to be hopeless when it comes to stabbing myself.

Just been for a swim - haven't done length swimming since school! Managed 600m before I conked out. Might not sound that impressive but I am proud of myself!

Grrrr. Still pissed off with myself. I spent all afternoon clock watching so I left my mate's in time to get home for the fucking injection!!

I think the extra hormones are making me a little crazy. Got emotional this morning. It was too icy to go out on my bike. Last weekend the gale force winds meant I couldn't go out on my bike. Given next weekend could be the start of wrapping myself in cotton wool for two weeks, I won't be going out then either. A month without a bike ride is enough to make me loopy. And seeing DCW going out training all the time is sending me over the edge. Not that I want him to sit in being miserable as well, it's just bloody difficult when my life is totally affected by this shit and his just toddles along as normal... Had to get out and do something this afternoon as I was sinking in my own misery so I texted a mate. She said she was going for a walk and I was welcome to go along. It got me out of the house and playing in the snow for 4 hours, but it was me, 3 of her mates and their kids. Seven kids aged between 3-7. Oh well, they kept the dog entertained I suppose.

Fab I'm throwing buckets of rainbow fish all over you hag, hang on in there, you're strong.

Rain I've recently re-discovered swimming. When I finally do a 50m length of proper front crawl without gasping like a drowning rat before reaching the end I am fully expecting someone to hand me my 50m swimming badge .

And thanks for the wise advice as usual hags. I'm going to call them tomorrow afternoon. I'll ask about the late dose today as well.

Does he have a trusted friend who can take him to the pub/for a coffee and have a good chat cherry? Or does he not talk about stuff? DCW sometimes gets to the point where he just needs to let it out, and it's usually when he goes for a run with his best mate.
Otherwise, professional help is always good. Got me out of a black hole a few years ago. If he has recognised he needs some help that's the biggest hurdle crossed already.

Hags, I've fucked up again. I really am having one of those days. I forgot my sister's birthday. It was today. She called earlier and I panicked. To cut a very long story short I ended up buying extortionately priced tickets for the two of us for Strictly Come Dancing next Saturday afternoon. (I should explain that my sister has special needs, if this was one of my brothers he'd get a present at some point possibly in the next few months...)
Then I realised that if things run to the schedule predicted by the nurse I could very well be needing to be at the hospital at the very time I'll otherwise be sat in my expensive seat. I can't even work out a plan B here, without going into specifics of my family, there's no one else who would be able to take her next weekend. I'm fucking on fire today hags.....
I never thought I'd be hoping my follicles aren't ready to go at the end of the week....

Oh arse arse arse Barking how very fucking frustrating on both counts. Swordfish of sympathy to you (as it sounds far too complicated for advice and at this time in the morning I got nuthin). And a shoulder punch.

Cherry have an arm fun for ROCH too. I find with TWH he can be all manly and supportive until such time as I'm ok and then he has his down time. We're pretty good at talking but sometimes he has to go and have one of those strange manchats where they talk around the problem, drink beer and feel better. But if it needs more than that I can definitely recommend counselling. It just helps, simple as really. Sometimes menfolk have a problem with the idea of it though don't they which is another hurdle. Cockles of comfort to the lovely ROCH.

I've been awake for an hour and I'm knackered not looking to a 4 hour drive in my car with no stereo and a bit nervous of the things I'm going to face with my mum. My sister has had A LOT to cope with over the past few days.

Barking Argh, that sucks so hard! I'm also still have sleep and I have no suggestions but sending you positive vibes!

Chez Mr Erica has been talking about going to see a therapist to help him deal with all the stress. I am also 'seeing someone' at the moment (it makes sound like I'm having an affair!), not only because of TTC but also due to other issues (mainly about losing my mum last year and not being really good at grieving...). Anyway, it is really helping me and I hope Mr Erica makes an appointment soon too. If you can afford it, I think it's completely worth it. Sometimes you just need to call the professionals in! Or screw 'needing it', sometimes it just makes things easier. Fuck being stoic.

Fab, I am so sorry you are going through this in general and the timing in particular. Cockles of comfort to you too and some sneaky, un-beshly hugs.

Checking in to say cheers for the thoughts and good advice, absolutely fuck being stoic, love it Erica, you are so right. I think it's a both and; more pub, some help required.

And in the meantime shit shit shit Barking, tis a pickle indeed. Fab sending you much strength to do what you need to do. Extra to all because it's Monday too.

Arm fun??? Arm rub obvs. Thanks for the support hags, much appreciated.

Sending more fish to Fab. Have you tried listening to podcasts on your phone? The radio in our car was shit, so we always downloaded podcasts to listen to on long journeys instead.
Just on my break psyching (sp?) myself up to call the clinic and working out how to say it without it being an 'are you sure you're right?'...

Nurse was lovely. She said I could come in on Wednesday instead of Thursday if it would make me feel better .
Thank you for the encouragement hags .

Oh my darlin hags - what a shit time everyone is having.

I'll man up now and admit (now that others have been so brave!) that one of the big things that have taken me down recently has been Mr Blues depression. And he won't access professional help. But, the only reason I mention this is because he seems to be slowly lifting and I wanted to offer out how he's done it if ROCH won't go the talking route. He spent time problem solving any stressor that could be problem solved, he took some time on his own to process and think (I guess this could be done using writing or art too) and he started engaging in more things that made him feel good. I've also started trying to be less grumpy about things that don't really matter as he takes on my stress. He'd also come to believe he was a failure for not being able to get me pregnant, so I've tried to challenge that with examples of some people we know and some celebs (ant from ant and dec!). I don't know if that helps at all but I wanted to offer it out there.

I can't believe how much you are all coping with at the moment.

Haddock of heartbreak to you.Hags, you are my heroes

Oh Blue! Poor you & Mr Blue. It's so upsetting and frustrating when this frickin' fertility issues cause so many emotional problems, that in turn make the whole process more difficult and painful.

I am glad go hear that things are feeling better and that you've found ways to cope!

We are all hard as nails, hags! Go us! (Getting a bit emosh now, someone pass the gin and give me a fish slap!)

^^

Oops, sorry .

Blue glad things are looking better .
DCW is the strong one when it comes to this ttc/mc lark. When he gets down I get really worried as I then realise how much I lean on him. It's tough, but we're all going to come out the other end much stronger. ^^

Depression has such a massive stigma, no wonder it's so hard to admit and sort out, especially for our poor fellas. Sorry to hear Mr Blue is suffering with the black dog, tis shit, though also reassuring to know that ROCH is not alone. He seems brighter just for having spoken it aloud. Now to keep the impetus up to deal with stuff. Though I have to admit I'm a bit of a fixer and am going to have to sit on my hands to let him do this at his own pace. More rainbow trouts needed all round I think. Tough times.

Glad your queries met with a human being rather than an officious healthcare provider Barking. Are you just going to have to go in on Wed and see how you're fixed for Sarurday?

Fish slaps back at ya Erica, all totes emosh. We're back at the clinic on Friday, all going on. I've finished my book on immune system recovery and have decided to go gluten, corn, soy, dairy, refined sugar free from now for this cycle to reduce any potential inflammation and unwanted immune responses. I mostly am anyway but fall off the wagon now and again for the odd baked good. Sigh. Goodbye now that makes me sad!

How did the drive go Fab, how's things?

Good recipe advice hags, I made www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/nov/15/aubergine-chickpea-tamarind-stew for tea today and despite being peered at critically for its uber healthy looks by ROCH AND lack of meat, it was in fact declared surprisingly tasty and was inhaled with enthusiasm. Hurrah! Also despite the fact I subbed a lot of ingredients that halfway through found we didn't have.

Glad you liked the stew Chez - I'm a big fan of it myself - the mint makes it super fresh!

Wow Hags are men are really going theough it at the moment aren't they. Cockles of comfort all round.

The long drive was ok (could've done without the never ending roadworks though!) and we managed to get the doctor today to recommend mum go into respite care and amazingly we managed to get her into the same place at last time which is one of the better care homes in the area. It was an almighty challenge getting her from the bed into the car as she can barely stand let alone walk but somehow between my sis, me and a Carer we managed it so she is now tucked up with professionals on call all night. My sis has been with her 24/7 since Thursday and is utterly exhausted so it was good to send her home for some well earned sleep and a break. She managed to pick up one of these fluey bugs doing the rounds from one of the carers which on top of her other problems has made her feel utterly rotten. Hopefully she will start to improve soon. Thanks for all your support hags - you're amazing :)

Fab I'm so glad your mum is being looked after somewhere you're happy with, must be a relief. I hope you and your sister both managed some sleep last night.
chez yes, the scan on weds will give me a clue as to when I might be ready. I'm going to feel a bit of an idiot if I end up going back on Thursday and Friday but to be fair I was ready on day 11 last time, and I'm on a higher dose this time so it makes sense to me to check what the higher dose is doing!!
My brother has agreed to step in on Saturday if necessary, so that's a massive relief. I thought he was away but it's just his wife who is busy.

You're sounding much happier now you've got that earlier appointment so even if you end up having more scans it was worth it to reduce the stress. And great news that your brother can stand in if necessary. Fingers crossed everything runs to plan for you.

I had a pretty good night's sleep last night which was a relief and I'm guilty pleasuring with NCIS LA on sky at the moment. I miss having decent tv channels! To confirm that sounds really pervy and I'm really just watching the tv quietly with a cuppa :)

Is anyone else having problems with the app? I've had to go old school through safari to get access as it keeps pinging out. Very bloody annoying.

Seems to be working for me, Fab (on android phone).
Glad you got some sleep. I love NCIS but never seen the LA version.

Snow forecast for tonight and tomorrow. Could make getting to the hospital at the top of a massive hill a bit tricky!