The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

[barkingtreefrog]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

GOOD LUCK FAB!!! Buckets of lobsters of it!

Rainy I am so sorry. I haven't lost a pet yet but I get myself in a state when they are sick so I can't imagine what you're going through. Hugs, hag. You've definitely done the right thing.

It's Friday! It's hot and sunny and planning to go for walks and (some) wine and to the pool and maybe even feel a bit smug that I can just read my book and not worry about babies getting too hot/screaming their heads off/peeing in the pool.

Erica just rub it in why don't you. Cold, wet, windy and miserable here. Well, the sun is trying, I'll give it that....

GOOD LUCK FAB!!!!

My pool-zen vibe has been ruined by a pregnancy announcement by someone who has been with her partner for, like, 5 minutes!!

I am not saying she doesn't deserve it but c'mon! Isn't there some sort of queuing system here????

Obviously fucking not.

Argh!

It was quite funny actually. A friend of a friend who also has been TTC for ages (but we only discuss it when drunk, we don't know each other that well) mentioned it in a whatsapp message... and it was like '... because X is pregnant' 'Oh, I see' 'Aha' 'Nice' Yeah'. We were obviously both a bit meh about it but none of us daring to say 'FFS!!!!!!'

If it wasn't because of the health plan I would invite this friend of a friend out for a drink or seven! :)

I would love there to be a queuing system Erica!! I can just picture me strolling through the maternity wards and selecting a baby.

I had to call the nurse with a stupid question this afternoon. I wasn't sure whether the 'same time every day' was 'evening' or '7pm'. And it said to keep it in the fridge, but what if I wasn't home at 7pm? Was the time more important or the fridge?
Apparently the time is important. The fridge is, but less so as long as I get it back in the fridge as soon as I can.
It was weird though, she asked me why, did I work nights? As if there was no reason other than work I might not be in my house every night at 7 pm! I didn't want to say I was planning on going swimming and would have to inject in the toilets at the pool! 'What if I was in the pub?' didn't sound right either, so I said I would be at my mum's! . Why did I feel I had to lie to the nurse?!
She just said 'oh well you can pop it in the fridge at your mum's then!`
Possibly leaving it in sauna heat swimming pool changing rooms might not be great then....

Hope it went OK Fab, your pain assessment is eagerly awaited as I've signed myself up for this voluntary mutilation too.

Hope you're doing OK today Rain, thinking of you.

Lol Barking you're what now, not at home at 7pm? You have a life outside TTC? Tsk!

So if there's a queue system in operation did we get stuck on hold then? Are we in some parallel universe of broken switchboard hell? Why did no-one say; do you think Anne Robinson off Watchdog could get us a baby each?

I'm so fucking glad it's Friday hags, I even got up early to clean the kitchen this morning somInwouldn't have to do it tonight. We have shut out the world and now I'm on my sofa with roaring log fire and gin. ROCH was even well enough to make it for me. Right now in this moment my world is complete.

Good to hear it Chez. enjoy the fire and the gin, you deserve it!

I so wish there was a queuing system - just think of all those smug differs you could go along taking back their babies saying 'nope you've all jumped the queue and there's this bunch of hags that need to be first up. THEN you can have yours'

Well hags I confirm the scratch is bloody painful. Yikes! Good news it's only about 30 seconds of ' sweet jeeeesus that hurts' before it subsides to period type totally doable pain. Intralipid infusion on the other hand was a dream - sitting in a warm comfy room with a drip, a book, a hot drink and 3 others all feeling comfy in our own worlds for 1.5 hours. All quite lovely really - thankfully it's that one I get to repeat not the other!!

Ps - very jealous of poolside living this week Erica!!

I am studiously ignoring the poolside living comments Erica if only you knew how Baltic it was in Blighty currently! Though there is something also lovely about getting cosy and hunkering in.

Yeowch Fab, glad it subsided quick but the deed itself sounds heinous. Do you get any bleed with it? The remainder of the avo sounds like my kinda time though.

I talked to my boss about IVF#2 coming up soon. He asked what it costs and whether we would consider adoption awkward male.

Thank Fuck It's Friday!!
Just been swimming. Still trying to teach myself front crawl. Still can't manage 50m, start doing a brilliant drowned rat impression with 5-10m to go. Every time. It's becoming a self fulfilling prophecy . I should stick to the 25m pool really until I can actually swim properly. Hey ho. Now waiting for DCW to come out as half an hour of drowning was enough for me but he was staying in until he'd swum 1km.
Off to the pub. Quite fancy a gin but cycle has started now so maybe I shouldn't. Wow, that's a totally different me to the one who was studiously tee total for the first 2+ years of ttc!!!!

You can get some spotting with it but apart from my first wipe it's all be A-OK down below thankfully.

I've just had a very fun evening out at a local quiz night. It's all done in the local schools you bring along your own food and drink. Historically everyone gets rip roaringly drunk and has a jolly good noisy time . I decided to treat myself to a glass of wine as I'm in downreg not stims and I was so miserable over Christmas with the lurg that I didn't get to eat or drink any of the things I liked. I also took the opportunity to have some of the stinkiest Brie I've had in a long time and some delicious Shropshire blue as if this all works out I won't be able to have them for months so it was a little bit of a last hurrah and I loved it!! Back to being good tomorrow. Sigh. I'll miss a good old vino et fromage!

Funnily enough I'm good with front and back crawl but utter shit with breast stroke - can't get anywhere for love nor money. It's embarrassing and knackering!

Cherry EVERYONE seems to ask us if we're considering adoption. It's such a laden question!

fab we get asked about adoption as well.
DCW finally got out of the pool having swum 3km. I was good and didn't have a gin in the pub. He did have beer. But stopped before drinking his second when I gave him the eye. Hmph. He's going to be giving his sample in 7-10 days if all goes well. Is it really too much to ask that he doesn't drink before then? And of course he wanted praise for not drinking the second beer. If a miracle happens all goes well I won't be drinking for 9 months, plus potentially longer if breastfeeding. And he wants a pat on the back for not actually stopping but cutting down for only 10 days and sticking to only one beer, when he was in the pub last night as well?!

Oh Bugs the naïveté of some people. It's funny and awful at the same time. I mean really? Do you think we thought fuck it let's go through this major, invasive, fuck with your body procedure (not to mention expensive) instead of just having a shag? Really? Do you maybe just want to take five minutes and have a think about this one?? Luckily for me both my bosses had been down that route to a greater or lesser extent so they were, in their own special ways, understanding. The general consensus was get us some twins. Do my best sir!

I remember you had a hell of a time with downregging Bugs but I'm doing ok so far. It's always the sleep problems that dog me during all of this but as I'm not working it makes it a lot easier to cope with. Downreg scan next Friday so hopefully we should be good to go for stims then or Saturday.

In other news my mum is very poorly again. How's that for timing! She lives 4 hours away so it's not a quick trip to get up to her but thankfully I have lots of siblings so that helps. Fingers crossed it doesn't develop into anything more sinister.

bugs my boss laughed the other week about how he's avoiding having children while his wants them, so I didn't bother telling him about the iui, just the office manager and the colleague I work closely with. Some people are idiots. DCW got some very flippant remarks about his 'swimmers' when he told a friend we were struggling . You'd think it was a man thing, but I've had stupid comments from women as well.

Fab hope your mum makes a speedy recovery. Not what you need right now!

No the timing is not good but then my parents between them have had phenomenal timing with my ivfs - mum was poorly for the first, dad for the second, 3rd was cancelled as dad died and now here we are for the 3rd try again. Fingers crossed eh.

The joys of having older parents eh? Hold on, they were 40 and 45 when they had me and I'm now 42.....oh....hollow laugh...

'Actually I'd like to experience being pregnant and giving birth as a life experience' might be the truth but doesn't really cut it as an ignoramus retort!

Sorry to hear about your mum Fab, I hope she's better soon and the cyclical pattern of parental disruption doesn't replay itself over for this cycle.

Barking don't get me started on the disparity between us and them and the looking after ourselves mark. There seems to be a complete disconnect on that score, too much head nodding, not enough application and discipline employed. Grrr.

Well, I just ordered two first response tests from Amazon ready for the end of the cycle . Bit keen, maybe. But I realised that if I got a bfn on an internet cheapie I'd convince myself it might be wrong. With these I got a faint bfp last time at 13dpo (or 12dpo? can't remember) so I'll believe what they say.
I didn't think the crazy would hit until next week but looks like it's going to hit sooner. Already paranoid that they're not scanning me until I've had 9 injections. I'm sure it was earlier than that last time, and this time they've upped the dose. But I did ask the nurse if it definitely wouldn't be too late by next Thursday, and she said no. I need to keep reminding myself that they know what they're doing, but when they messed up my dates so badly last time, it's difficult.

fab hope you're managing to remain in a zen like state despite the universe conspiring against it.

cherry how are the men in your life?

I'm a big fan of being prepped for eventualities Barking. To this end I've just picked up 6 months supply of HRT to add to my current stocks 'just incase' but obvs I will be diffed and won't need them for too many months to count.

Meanwhile the men folk are improving thanks. To my huge relief Coconut horse is on the mend and was very keen to get out today for a walk, love the steed. ROCH is also looking much more chipper, though I still thinks it time for chats -no wait -stern words about the sofa slothing. One needs to pick up a bit of enthusiasm and application for life...

Hi Barking - so just to confirm are you in the stims phase at the moment and your first scan to check how your follies are doing will be on day 9? I think this is the bit that's similar to my protocol isn't it? My clinic does the first scan generally on day 8 of stims so I can't see that being an issue - after that it's daily or alternate daily scans to see how they're doing and it's quite a few days after that before we get to egg collection etc..

All ok here - thankfully my mum responded well to her latest drugs although my poor sis was up all night with her. I'm going up to see them both on Monday for a couple of days. Then I've got to work out how to do this damn stabbing myself - I've managed to avoid it totally this far!

Ha I deliberately don't buy tests so I won't be tempted to test early. It's self preservation. Although it also gets to a point where I don't want to test and would rather stay in the world of PUPO just a little longer to dream the dream...

Yay for The Coconut Boys but I must admit there's nothing wrong with a bit of sofa bear action on the weekend

fab the scan will be cycle day 11, I started stabbing on day 2. I could potentially be ready to do the trigger shot that evening and have the insemination 36 hours later, as they're only looking for one follicle over 17mm.
Last time I had my first post-stabbing scan on cycle day 8 and daily after that, and did the trigger shot on day 12. It would have been day 11 but that would have made insemination on the Sunday, which they don't do.
I don't know if they looked earlier because it was my first cycle, and now they just predict from that, but my dose has gone up from 50 to 75 so I would have thought they'd want to check earlier what was happening.
I'm sure they know what they are doing though...

I am very this morning. I am someone who does not easily fall asleep again. Once I've woken up, I'm awake. I didn't get much sleep Friday night as we went to bed late and I woke up early and didn't get back to sleep. The last thing I said last night was 'I hope I sleep in until a decent time tomorrow morning,' as I felt lethargic all day yesterday. At 7am DCW's alarm went off . He 'must have knocked it'. Hmph. He then apologised and immediately went back to sleep. I remained awake, but feeling very tired. Very fucked off.

cherry good news on coconut horse. I will probably be on the sofa today, being grumpy at DCW for feeling tired again....
fab glad you've got other siblings to be there - do they all know you're mid cycle?