The BESH are powering ahead on a gin and prosecco fuelled hover board, in the general direction of 2030

[barkingtreefrog]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).Â

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.

6. Number of pets?

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8. Lesbian crush?

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

That's great Barking, wow, you and Fab are both really on it, some acshool BESH action ready for BESH cluster diff Langouistines of luck your way.

Just popping in to say hi, see how Rainycat is, down gin with all and drown the sorrows of a spectacularly shit day. My only better news is that Coconut horse is marginally better and vet lady doesn't think it's anything too sinister, though is still a bit concerned by the swelling. So who knows.

1cycle of IVF on the NHS here, 18 month wait for us to get access to it. I was 33 when we started this process, soon to be 36, urgh.

Oh exciting news barking and fiz - come on the BESH!

erica ultimately for us infertile hags IVF is basically the best shot we have, so it definitely can feel like we're being dragged round the houses with all the less intrusive stuff first but evidently those simpler treatments must work for some people otherwise they wouldn't bother! Just fucking shitty that they don't work for us!

blue all I did for RAFs nickname was condense his life long passion into an acronym - real ale fan! Simple as that.

Thanks for asking after Rainycat. Unfortunately it looks like it's the worst case scenario. They now doubt that it is lymphoma (awaiting second opinion tomorrow) and more likely is a carcinoma (sp?) which given its size, location and her poor condition basically leaves us with only one sensible, kind choice left. We'll have to make that call tomorrow once they confirm the diagnosis, I've been in a state of total denial about it all day so far. Rainycat#2 is behaving oddly this eve, he definitely knows something's up. Will be sorting insurance for him asap.

Oh Rain bad news, I'm sorry to hear it

And barking and fizz ....oooh nearly ready for the cluster diff (no pressure)

Barking, nope he's not nearly 90 but he is 50 so I needed to be sure of the limits. Thinking of possibly by passing the nhs route all together with the waits you have all had (we aren't even at the point of being referred anywhere)

I'm so sorry, rain .

Blue if you can afford private I'd go for it. We did iui 18 months after we got referred (although the first mc after the clomid slowed things down slightly). As rain said, some of the less invasive treatments do work for some people - clomid worked for me but only once in six goes, and iui worked for me last time (hoping not to repeat the pattern there of it only working the first time).

chez I hope the swelling goes down and you're back riding cocohorse soon.

Is it nearly the weekend yet?

I am so sorry Rain.

I think our doctor did the right thing trying other things before IVF (he think we should still wait before starting - as I said, April-May). After all, and quite ironically, I never got pg with clomid, letroz or IUI but got three IUIs when trying naturally, so there is a logic behind it and since it's a private clinic, it's sort of in their interest to get me into my expensive treatment.

I guess I am just panicking and wondering what happens if we don't get diffed this year. Or if I mc again. TREPIDATION!!

Barking Thursday definitely nearly week end! Happy everything is going so well and fast for you, hag!

CLUSTERDIFF!

So sorry to hear your news Rain

Pleased as punch for you Barking that you're able to get cracking straight away - go go go!

It's all so difficult to know what the best thing to do isn't it. As I was 39 when we first went to our clinic we were advised to go straight to ivf because of my age and lack of other obvious issues. I still think it was the right move although we had a 1.5yr hiatus between #2 & #3 for various unchangeable reasons. Good luck Hags!

Chez I hope your spectacularly shit day was left behind yesterday and you are able to start this day afresh along with happier boys!

What I wrote makes no sense!

Doctor thinks

And I got three BFPs (not three IUIs 'trying naturally' - what??)

As I said, panic! Trepidation!

Ha that makes more sense now totally understand the trepidation but can say that for me I felt much more like there was a plan to follow and reasons to be positive once I was on the ivf route.

Ha ha! My head is obviously to full with TTC, IUI, droids, IVF etc... getting all mixed up now!

Don't know about 'baby-brain' but TTC brain is definitely a thing!

Arghhhhh!!!!!

Bad times, hags. Bear with me while I fill in the back story as I'm rubbish at being concise. When I quit teaching and took a massive pay cut (but also a big cut in stress and hours) in order to throw everything possible at TTC one of the sacrifices was getting rid of our wonderful weekly cleaner. DCW was very distressed by this and has been muttering about hating cleaning ever since. Last week I caved in and agreed to text the cleaner to see if she could come back to us. Got a reply today. She can't come back to us. She is 6 months fucking pregnant!!!!

She's got kids plural already. And she's younger than me. .

Aaaanywaay. DCW has redundancies happening at work. They've asked if anyone wants to go part time (not immediately). I said DCW should see if he could do 4 days a week as we'll have a baby by the end of the year and it would mean he could spend one day a week with baby In my perfect, ideal world, we would have a baby, then both work part time, me 3 days after maternity, him 4 days, and we'd have childcare 2 days. No idea how this works financially, but this is my dream world so it doesn't matter, does it?!

So sorry to hear about RainyCat, rain.

barking arses! Is everyone in the world up the duff? My cleaner is a bloke so hopefully we won't have to deal with that particular scenario... The shared parenting 4-days each bit sounds really good to me, too. Not sure GFBW would be convinced, though - I think it is still harder for men to prove they are committed to their career if they request it. But then that won't change until more of them actually start doing it!

Oh Rain I'm so sorry, what sad news. No wonder Rainycat #2 is feeling it, as I'm sure you are too, much love to you all.

I've had a better today thanks for asking Fab, up to my eyeballs still but no tears at any rate. Both boys still below par but getting on top of the work situation hopefully and some perspective.

Barking that's just shit, keep focussing on the dream and putting it out there. You must have the biggest collection of smug differ friends and aquaintences of anyone I know.

Blue I think you need to get some honest answers from your PCT about wait times but if time is of the essence and you can do it then I've been shocked at the difference in speed and attentiveness at the private v NHS experience.

How are you feeling on the drucks oh stabbing BESH?

Before you know it your bloke cleaner will be wanting paternity Fab
ROCH can't wait for us to lay so he can give up work to become a house husband unfortunately I earn considerably more so it makes sense. I'd love a solution that would enable us both to work part time though. Dream on!

Erica I imagine the tepee dating (ha ha, I wrote trepidation and this is what auto correct gives me, chuckle) ahem, serious face, I imagine the trepidation must be huge. The threat of MC scares me and I've never been through the horror.

I'm reading some interesting things about healing immune problems holistically at the moment. Chapter 1 and I don't think I'll ever eat gluten again I'm also reading about psycho-neuroimmunology; neurobiology research that shows that chemicals produced by our emotions influence cells that act on the body and immune system. Got about 5 books on the go, don't know which to read first, lol! If I could just curl up into sofa in front of the fire tomorrow, dip my head in a book and not have to talk to anyone, that would be just grand thanks very much. #grumpy #givememylifeback

I am cluster posting in the hope of manifesting a BESH cluster diff BTW.

Just putting it out there. As you were.

Thanks (again) hags for being so luffly. Obviously today was mega shit but I know we did the right thing - these little fur balls give us all so much unconditional love it's the last kind thing we can do for them when they're suffering. I keep thinking I can hear her (she always had long claws so could hear her coming before she appeared) but obviously not.

I know, cherry!! I think it's our group of friends. They're all into the same outdoorsy stuff as us, had other priorities earlier in life, and none of them married early. It seems all DCW's mates have got married one after the other in the last 3 years (us included) and then each couple have popped out a baby while we've been trying and looking on with . Well, not quite all, but pretty damn close actually. The friends on my side are the more random ones. The colleague who struggled to have the first two, then got diffed within a month when they decided to try for a third five years later. The single accidental differ. The army mate and her army husband who managed to get diffed despite being posted in different countries for most of the year. The friend who wanted to stop at two but was horrified to find she was pg with number 3. oh the sympathy I didn't have for her Anyway, I'm depressing myself so I'll stop before I carry on with the ones who drank/smoked through pg without a care in the world or have now had two since we started ttc.

Hope both the men in your life feel a hell of a lot better before the weekend.

Drucks going ok. Managed to somehow end up with a drop of the liquid on not in me after I withdrew the needle today, but I'm on a bigger dose than last time anyway, so if I didn't get it all in it doesn't really matter!!

fizz I'm not convinced DCW cares what people think! He was fine with changing his name when we got married, and he did get some stick from his mates about it. It's more the financial aspect really. He's thinking about using the day to do a part time uni course or something, so it would actually be a good thing for his career.

Oh, rain. Wish I could give you a big hug right now .

Oh Rain, hearing phantom kitty noises must be heartbreaking. You did the right thing but it's so hard. I hope Rainycat #2 is bearing up and getting extra cuddles. Gentle arm rubs and cockles of comfort to you.

Drucks overspill happened to me too Barking but I remember another BESH having the same and being reliably told by medical BESH that they always put a little extra in the vials to compensate for some not quite making it to source. Glad it's going OK.

Yup affirmative on your winning of the most diffed connections ever. Have the mackerel of mostness, you defo win that accolade.

Oh Rain I'm so gutted for you (I finally managed to see a pic of her and she was divine) but you're right, you've done the right thing for her. Life can just be shit sometimes can't it . Arm rubs and the squid of solace for you.

I'd like to second Cherry - Barking officially knows more diffed/childful couples than anyone. Ever. It does tend to rub it in a bit too bloody painfully doesn't it. Don't worry about the drucks - I've done that occasionally and the nurses have always said it's fine. So long as you don't leak a load every day obvs!

I'm doing ok and my woo needles lady said my pulses are the best they've ever been which is great! Unfortunately the drucks do affect my sleep however and for some reason I woke up freezing in the middle if the night and could not get back to sleep so ended up in my dazed confusion at 1:30 this morning stumbling into a onesie and grabbing thermal socks to warm me up. Seemingly did the trick as I woke up in an oven like state this morning!

Glad your week is getting a little better Chez and hope you have relaxation and time with the boys scheduled at the weekend. Is there an end in sight with the stresses at work or do you just have to keep your head down and plow (not plié autocorrect although might be more fun) through?

First intralipid and endo scratch today. Wish me luck hags!