On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

:( I'm so sorry purple. It's such a head mess ttc and your body sounds like it's been throwing you all the right symptoms, how cruel. I know how disappointed you must be.

Hopefully next month is your month xx

Sorry for being silent for ages, I've been struggling to keep up. Will do a big catch up with your news this weekend

:( purple maybe you did have all those symptoms because you really want a baby right now? Isn't this your first month of TTC since the diabetes tests?

Yes it is the first month jelly. But I didn't imagine them!

Nono I'm not saying you imagined them, but sometimes the body can cause us symptoms when we want something. And sometimes our bodies are just shit like that lol!

I know it sounds stupid but maybe try not to let it get to you too much :( Stress can be counter productive to TTC.

My back is killing me, which was an AF symptom I used to have prior to the injection, which I haven't had so far, so I am hoping it's a sign of regular periods again. I'm starting major contraband this month (on the Clearblue trial and this other trial) so gonna be pissing on a lot of OPK's. If I don't get a peak, I will probably go to the docs, my biggest concern at the moment is that I am not ovulating.

We need a BFP this fred, or I will have made a really unlucky one :(

Sorry to hear that, purple - are you sure it is definitely AF ? Speaking only for myself, I wonder if I'm sometimes hyper - alert to symptoms that I just wouldn't have thought twice about if I wasn't ttc, but it sounds like yours went beyond that, which is just cruel for you :(

Aww I'm sorry to hear that purple. Why do our bodies fuck with us so much? It's really unfair.

jelly - what's the clear blue trial and how did you get on it? Hypothetically interested of course, you understand

Oh boo. I was routing for you two this month :( hormones can do crazy things to the body purple ttc can be a huge mind fuck sometimes [gives un mn style hug].

Honey I always go for tandoori when forced into takeaway it's the least naughty thing on the menu but still yum. Plus roti or chapatti over naan

deeply it's here uk.clearblue.com/survey

Basically just fill out the survey, they call you to ask some questions, if you qualify they send you a big box with lots of pissy sticks and pots. You pee in a pot every day (and test with an OPK), send the pots off twice a month, and then hope for a positive OPK or pg test!

Ooh , thanks jelly !

purple am really sorry to hear the witch is fucking up your mind. This whole business can be so horrendous. As much as I would like to encourage you to relax and not to let it get to you, I would imagine it to be almost impossible to relax right now when you are so disappointed. I feel that each cycle is passing so slowly since beginning to TTC. Perhaps you would feel a bit better if you let out all your frustration, anger and whatever negative feelings you have here.

I've been all over the place over the last couple of weeks. Have got on the wrong train at least 3 times and wrong bus x in a fortnight. And have just realised that when I ordered a xmas present for OH I've put in home address for the first half then work postcode. That's why it has not been delivered. I want to cry right now. So stressed. And ridiculous amount of work to do today. Due an assignment tmw which I haven't even started! And I think I might have iced whilst OH is still away. Fuck!

I am feeling really guilty today. I was going to go back to the pil new house to help unpacking (we were there last night), but now I am hiding under a blanket on painkillers. Feel bad!

Next month I am going to be using The Stork as a product tester. Looks interesting! Not really in the spirit of JSing though!

Oh bloody hell purple - that really is shit. I've totally been there - I was so convinced once that I actually told my sister. The symptoms were real, and having been pg before, very recognisable. Still not sure what actually 'happened' - it's so un-nerving...makes you doubt yourself and wonder if something dodgy is going on all at the same time. I really feel for you. Take care.

Really sorry purple and sad to hear everyone's having such a rough time arm. Big hugs and hope that by xmas you're all feeling calmer and happier

Oh Purple, that's so shit :( I was really looking forward to your BFP pissy stick! Hugs for you.

A smug cousin has announced this morning that she is upduffed and going for a scan today. Bitch. Everyone is pregnant, except us!

lol i've broken FF again, it's predicting ovulation for 4 days (and high fertility for a week)

jelly i clicked on you on ff and it brought my chart up and now you've disappeared!! would you mind requesting me again? (i know i'm being a pain!!)

will do pooch :)

I've never had period cramps before, getting them now though. Ouch! :( How do you ladies deal with them normally?

I also think this is going to be a heavy one, it's gone from brown spotting this morning to full on heavy flow, and it's not even 11:00am!

i haven't had really bad AF cramps for a long time but it used to be a hot water bottle in bed job and then when the waves of pain came i found pressing into them helped till they passed. hope you feel better soon!! this all sucks!!!

it does :( I can only assume it's because it's only my 4th AF in 5 years, so i'm still settling in to a cycle, but i've never felt like this before.

Thanks lovelies. I am gutted. The wee spot I had each morning was nothing. Today I've got period pain and def need sanpro

Last few months I've had spotting a couple of days before - I don't know which should be the start date of my cycle now.

I was utterly convinced and told my sister too. I just felt pregnant. It was exactly the same as when I was. I had this weird warm glow that I've never had at any other time.

Ahh well I didn't want an August baby anyway. Youngest in the school year and all that making up bollocks to make myself feel better now

Jelly, I can't decide if I feel sorry for you or if I hate you. Never felt proper cramps? I think on balance I feel sorry for you. I find laying in bed crying to be an ineffective method. Or drugs. Very powerful drugs. And chocolate. And watching the "Bodyform responds to" on YouTube as it is fucking hilarious and acknowledges that being a woman is totally shit sometimes.

purple I don't want to sound harsh but I do think you set yourself up for a fall by convincing yourself you were upduffed. win not saying you imagined it all but we all know how much we over think things in the twot and tune into more. I think you had so much riding on this cycle your body gave you the symptoms you wanted. maybe try and be more relaxed next month. and on the plus side you aren't joining me with the dry Christmas I want mulled wine!

Sorry the witch got so many of you viroid's.
Huuuuuugs.

haha honey yeah I was often the target of envy when I was at college and uni, I used to get a slight back ache and that was it, very light periods, no more than 4 days long, clockwork rhythm.

And then I go and fuck it up with the injection and now look lol! Still the cramps seems manageable with a combination of paracetomol and ibuprofen. Just lost my temper at DP massively, so seems like I can add PMT to that list too! Oh dear, at least she will be gone by Christmas and I can shag away!

Lil you are going DRY for Xmas?????