Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

999 replies

jellypi3 · 07/12/2014 16:44

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
TinkerBlue · 15/12/2014 18:50

This is almost like you people have better things to do than respond to a viroid Christmas tree SOS call. Humph.

They like the icicle shaped one's best, they keep pushing them under the cooker. Maybe I should replace them with twigs dipped in glitter on the lower branches? This is stressful Xmas Envy

TinkerBlue · 15/12/2014 18:51

I'm back round to euthanasia. This is cruelty to Christmas trees.

mountaingirl01 · 15/12/2014 18:53

I definitely like the idea of glittery lower twigs might even try that one myself :)

TinkerBlue · 15/12/2014 18:55

mountain well you came back at the right time. Never has there been a more pressing jsing crisis. Xmas Wink

SunshinePickle · 15/12/2014 18:55

I have give upon rescuing the Christmas tree Tink just accept the fact that the 4-legged furry ninjas in your house will destroy it.

deeplybaffled · 15/12/2014 18:56

Tree not yet gone up here, tinker but betting I will have exactly the same problem when it does. ?..watching with interest for answers but liking the sprout idea:)

I know mine aren't keen on the smell of vitrus - maybe a few oranges / lemons near base of tree? I don't think they are poisonous to cats, but many don't like them. Water pistol? Possible electrocution risk, I fear....#desperation talking

TinkerBlue · 15/12/2014 18:59

Ah ha! Cattle prod?? We have a country store nearby. Or electric fence in place of lights?

mountain howyeh?

honeysucklejasmine · 15/12/2014 19:04

Just give it up Tink. You can't reason with as cat!

Hi mountain, how're you?

SunshinePickle · 15/12/2014 19:05

ARGH. I can't even type today. I meant "given up on". An electric fence around the tree is probably the only way of stopping your cats if they're like mine.

Having issues wrestling my precious cargo of homemade Yule logs on a busy train. Rustic is good, right?

mountaingirl01 · 15/12/2014 19:24

Ha, loving the idea of electric fence :)

I'm OK thanks girls, fed up of my body playing silly buggers though, I would like to ice please! Not helped by the fact i have eaten my own body weight in pringles this afternoon due to Christmas shenanigans at work

Tree not up here yet, tradition states my mum and I go choose ours together from local farm next Saturday. Very much looking forward to it!

Indigoblue2 · 15/12/2014 19:30

Lovely to see you back mountain Smile Tree choosing sounds great!

TinkerBlue · 15/12/2014 19:33

S'okay, have employed the services of a savage guard dog. She don't come cheap but she sure is viscious!

On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35
Poochieblue · 15/12/2014 19:41

lol thanks tink am really convinced AF is coming though. we will see

sorry no one was around in your moment of need!!! guard dog seems sensible idea - she does look oh so savage!! lol x

jellypi3 · 15/12/2014 20:45

haha amazing tree tink

we've not put our tree up yet, I can imagine the cats will kill it lol!

mountain welcome back!! hope you're ok hun :)

pooch you ain't out till she sings eh!

Sunshine how'd the presentation thing go?

I reckon AF is gonna turn up on day 24, boobs are on fire

OP posts:
Poochieblue · 15/12/2014 21:08

thanks jelly but right back at us! lol

Ainat266 · 15/12/2014 22:27

lil you are awesome. Thank you so much for the links again. What a super fast reply too!

purple I'll keep my gx for you, spotting doesn't mean you're out... but Tink is a sensible voice in the crowd. I really do hope that it is your month, but please don't be too bitterly disappointed if your symptoms let you down far easier for me to say, I'm sure

Tink and others with feline friends... My mums cats used to climb her tree. They'd always get so far up and it just couldn't take the weight near the top and it would come crashing down. We used to have to redecorate it every morning! The past couple of years she gave up and has had a mini fibre optic tree instead... A bit boring, but she's never at home on Christmas day anyway - we always go to my nans house.

I'm quite pleasantly surprised that my dog has left the tree alone if I'm honest.

I am exhausted. I've had a tough day at work. Time to try and get some sleep I feel...

honeysucklejasmine · 15/12/2014 22:47

Ain we have weighed ours down with my guitar amp. Violent wobbles but not fallen yet!

Just seen on Facebook that an old friend has had a baby. Instant jealousy. EnvyEnvyEnvy

Sad
Purplecircle · 15/12/2014 22:55

Christmas is when I'm glad I don't have cats anymore Smile

No more spotting. Just have to suck it and see as they say

I can't do anything buy wait it out and see if witch turns up or not.

I still have strong smells, nausea, stabby boobs, constipation and mood swings...all of which could be other things

Purplecircle · 15/12/2014 22:56

Aww honey, sometimes it's like a punch in the chops!

My SiL is having an ELCS next week

lildottie · 16/12/2014 00:20

ain you're welcome. hope it is of help to you.

jelly I see your £250/golf clubs and raise you....dh ordered a £2k camera tonight, and will probably send another £2k on replacing old accessories with ones that will fit new camera.

mountain good to see u back.

SunshinePickle · 16/12/2014 00:34

Jelly important research presentation chat went well except I've completely changed my plan and have so much to do over next 3 weeks. Determined not to have a complete meltdown yet, but I think I'm in over my head!

lil I just hope the camera gets used, we have thousands of pounds of barely used camera bits... Drives me up the wall.

It seems like everyone at work is pregnant tonight. Glad I brought lots of snacks to share!

jellypi3 · 16/12/2014 06:32

Eek lil that's insane!!! I'd kill him if he did that lol!

pooch I woke up this morning with that feeling u had of feeling so hungry u felt sick!!!

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 16/12/2014 06:42

Also it it true AF normally starts in the morning?

OP posts:
Purplecircle · 16/12/2014 07:45

Mine usually starts in the morning. I've had more spotting this morning. That's 3 days now. Still no sign of AF, just spotting.
Gaaaargh bloody bodies working against us

honeysucklejasmine · 16/12/2014 08:24

Damned pregnant people. To be fair, I have no idea about her journey. Maybe it took her a while, who knows. I'll still be upset if she's a "kitten" though

Lil that is insane! Is he any good at it?

Jelly my AF always starts in the morning.