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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

999 replies

jellypi3 · 07/12/2014 16:44

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!
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Thread gallery
14
jellypi3 · 15/12/2014 08:35

be strong purple, Friday isn't that far away!!

Honey saw it on the news this morning. How terrifying. It's one of the constant fears I guess of working in a big city :( I hope they all get rescued safely.

Have you put some TCP on your leg? Might need a bit of disinfecting.

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Poochieblue · 15/12/2014 10:06

i have woken up with hunger pains that are making me feel so sick i can't face eating anything!!! think it's this cold weather - bluueerrrgghhhh!!! happy fecking Monday!!!

ChatEnOeuf · 15/12/2014 10:16

Honey they're half French, they love a good strike! New government - lots of austerity measures and later retirement age. Don't pretend to understand it all as my French is rubbish and I've only been here a short while, but from what I can work out, they've had a relatively left-leaning government for some time, and this one is not. They've made some real sweeping changes, which on the face of it seem reasonable and necessary, but the tax here is already very high and people are pretty pissed off with pay freezes and longer working on top. Not sure how much sympathy I have, but as I say I don't know the full background.

Aussie situation looks a bit scary... Sad

jellypi3 · 15/12/2014 10:33

Hunger pains that mean you can't eat? pooch what the hell is that lol? When are you due to test? I keep forgetting two is Twotting / Testing this week.

CD23, no AF Grin probably spoke too soon

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Poochieblue · 15/12/2014 10:49

hahaha!!! it does sound stupid i know, i have got it before, where i go past the point of hunger so that it hurts and it makes me feel queasy and i have to talk myself through eating a piece of toast or something. I am just strange!!

Am on CD26 today, going by last cycle Af is due tomorrow which would be DPO 12, am going to try my damnedest to wait till Thursday absence of AF allowing that is!

Today will most consist of lots of pant checking, obsessioning and self-hooyah's!!

SunshinePickle · 15/12/2014 11:25

Poochie I frequently get so hungry I feel sick and struggle to eat. Glad to know I'm not the only weirdo.

Made 2 yule logs for work tonight and I'm petrified that the cats will lick them while I go to sleep. Super stressed today. Night shift later and important telephone call about my MSc dissertation with some clever professors (and I have no idea what to prepare to talk about!!).

jellypi3 · 15/12/2014 11:34

Oo gx pooch :) I have been pants checking for ages now, although getting the slight lower back ache I tend to get before AF (and molten boobies) so reckon she's on her way for me!

Next cycle is OPK cycle Wink

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ChatEnOeuf · 15/12/2014 11:36

Poochie I totally get you too. Morning sickness is a lot like that I think.

Poochieblue · 15/12/2014 11:39

glad it isn't just me! and nooooo chat don't be saying things like that to me, i am not symptom spotting i am not symptom spotting, i am not symptom spotting, i am not symptom spotting i am not symptom spotting, i am not symptom spotting i am not symptom spotting, i am not symptom spotting i am not symptom spotting, i am not symptom spotting i am not symptom spotting, i am not symptom spotting i am not symptom spotting,.......... lol

jellypi3 · 15/12/2014 11:48

Haha pooch remember to ignore any symptoms until you test!!! Thursday is so close!

Sunshine that sounds really interesting! Good luck!

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Poochieblue · 15/12/2014 11:58

i have to think of it as - only 2 more FMU flushes otherwise the days seem really long lol!

gakay · 15/12/2014 12:58

Hello viroids. Finally have time to catch up. Have been working on and off since 10 am yesterday with no sleep.

honey hope your knee is hurting a bit less. Ouchie.

purple we'll hold your hands (virtually) until Friday.

poochie I want to say what chat said but would resist from tempting you.

I'm getting hunger pains right now as well. Forgot to bring my purse to work yesterday. Am on my way home now but don't think I've got anything exciting to eat

TinkerBlue · 15/12/2014 13:24

purple I'm worried about you being devastatingly disappointed if your instincts have let you down and you aren't upduffed this time. Please please bear in mind you can try all the cycles now, it isn't all resting on this one! Of course I hope with all my heart that this is your turn! But really hope you can be as relaxed as you can about it and look forward to all that shagging next month if not Xmas Wink Flowers

Purplecircle · 15/12/2014 13:30

Thanks Tink. I had more spotting today so I think the witch is on her way.
Will see what happens between now and Friday but I'm resigned to it. I'm not going to drink just on the off chance as the other symptoms haven't gone won't do me any harm to dry out

TinkerBlue · 15/12/2014 13:39

Gaaaahhh, bless you - bollocks Sad still keeping everything crossed for you. Hope you'll be okay with it if it isn't your turn this time - we're all here to see you through. And its Christmas Xmas Wink

jellypi3 · 15/12/2014 13:42

Oh purple I'm sorry if it is the witch hun, gx it's still IB (didn't someone on here have a 3 day IB that was quite heavy)? I think we all know the huge stomach wrenching disappointment though when you are so certain it's your month and then it just goes away. But when it does happen how amazing will it be? (And probably it will be symptomless lol)

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Poochieblue · 15/12/2014 13:49

i think it was chat that was almost convinced it was AF but it wasn't - forgive me if i'm wrong!

We are all hoping that it's your turn purple but yes we will most definitely be here for you if it isn't and you get to do lots of lovely christmas shagging!!

ChatEnOeuf · 15/12/2014 14:16

Oh yes, with my MC in March I hadn't even twigged I was pregnant as I mistook an IB for AF. This time round I thought I'd MC again but it's just my womble messing with my head.

jellypi3 · 15/12/2014 14:32

So DP wants totart playing golf and the set of clubs he wants is £250!!!!!

Men!

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Fleurchamp · 15/12/2014 14:47

Ah jelly I feel your pain. My DH goes through phases of starting new hobbies. Our spare room is the junk room of hobbies past... Anyone for a snowboard, surfboard and a guitar?

jellypi3 · 15/12/2014 15:00

Lol well DP doesn't go through many hobbies but when he does he picks the expensive one!

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jellypi3 · 15/12/2014 16:35

Lots of pants action today, feelis like AF have started, rush to toilet, nada. Not even lots of CM.

Think my cervix is low though like i know what the hell i'm feeling for

OP posts:
Poochieblue · 15/12/2014 16:46

i get confused about where the cervix is supposed to be at different times because i can't bloody find mine!!

i've had a few instances today where i've gone fully expecting her to have arrived, i have got lots of CM though. don't know what that means, especially since i seem to have it nearly all month Confused Xmas Confused

TinkerBlue · 15/12/2014 18:37

Lots of cm = good thing in luteal phase. Just saying Xmas Wink
Don't ask me about cervical position, mine feels like it's about to drop out most of the time Xmas Shock

How does a cat owner stop said cats pulling all the low baubles off the crimble tree? Is euthanasia the only option? Xmas Sad

TinkerBlue · 15/12/2014 18:45

Maybe I should replace all the low baubles with sprouts???? This is serious folks - where are you ffs?? Thanks for your help Xmas Angry