On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Aww purple you will know in a few days hun x

Honey my bests mates just had a gorgeous little baby girl, but they did the biggest kitten ever. Came off Implant, went onto pill, stopped pill, shagged once, hey presto 9 months later a baby! Grrr!

Got that feeling that AF is coming, you know when you feel like something is moving down your vajayjay? might just be me that gets it lol

I get that jelly
Makes the pant watch all the more interesting.

Interesting, frustrating, terrifying.

All the above .

Got loads of CM today though, that's what it seems to be. Like gross amounts of it, all sticky!!

I think I'm coming down with something, feeling really ropey. Really tired and grouchy. Don't want a cold before xmas, especially when there's cape action to be had. My boobs hurt loads too and they are distracting me at work.

May I please add a growl at Keira knightley

so you get what I meant now jelly? lol hope you managed to eat something. I'm not too bad today although don't feel "right" if that makes sense.
My AF usually starts in the morning or I'll start really feintly late at night and then by morning Bam! and yes I get that weird feeling too!
still convinced she's on her way, never inspected loo paper so intently lol!
and yes tink you can growl at Keira Knightly. I was growling at Nicola on emmerdale last week and that's not even real ffs!!!

Hello all, newbie here definitely not been lurking

Feel like I've learnt a whole new ttc vocab since beginning to read MN forums...

Don't worry viroids, I'm hoping the witch is too busy visiting me to bother any of you guys this month!!

Hi Bibble welcome :) what are your stats?

Pooch not eaten yet, been too busy this morning to think of food! I know the feeling though, I am wiping about 5 times each time i go to check any signs of pink lol!nothing yet

Why are we growling at celebrity's?

Hello Bibble

jelly am getting CM galore y'day and today as well. I normally get it a couple of days b4 icing, based on my last couple of wtf cycles. OH is not back till Friday - hope I won't miss the boat. Also, have got an appt for the conceive study this Friday. Thanks. (I hope I haven't got myself mixed up who told me about it)

tink yes, why are we growling at Keira Knightly? But for whatever reason, I'll join you, she annoys me.

Gakay I'm also there friday haha! Looks pretty good too, though massive contraband

Hi Jelly and Gakay

Name: Bibble
Age: 32
TTC: Nov 14

Off the Pill for first time in over 10 years, currently on CD34 (but BFN) so still waiting to see what is going on with cycles . Never been so impatient for AF!

jelly what time is your appt? I wonder if we would bump into each other

9:30 Gakay :)

Bibble you might have done a kitten! Do you know if you ovulated this cycle? I know a couple of people on here have had long cycles are the pill! ain was one I think?

cos they're up the duff! growls required!! lol!! emmerdale characters husband had snip reversal, they dtd once and bam! see growlllllllll!!!!

welcome bibble

GROWL!!!! That is making me really jealous. I'm known for getting crazily involved with TV prog or films, and treating those stories as if they are happening in real life and to me.

jelly mind's at 4. So guess I won't bump into you. I'm really excited about it!

same gakay! :)

and pooch it's annoying eh, I'll join you in a growl (new JS'er lingo).

Fred's been awefully quiet the past few days, where's la and lemon and all the other shagging folk?

I thought it'd been quiet too x hope everyone is ok and maybe just busy doing Santa type chores! x

ok, cm is now a dark creamy colour, I had to peer closer to make sure it wasn't tinged with pink. I just want Thursday to come now! (even though that might still be too early :-/ ) only 1 more fmu flush! lol

could it be IB spotting pooch ?

could be timing wise but don't know. am I really out of order to hope that this is my time obviously for the usual reasons but also cos if all this is just AF signs I don't think I can cope with feeling so shitty every month?! I mean AF and all that comes with, ice pains, boobs, cramps, sick etc etc etc all for nothing.
that's really bad thinking isn't it! sorry! I just don't feel like myself for like 3 weeks of the cycle and don't want it every month. sorry for the self dwelling :-/ xx

:( pooch it's just the TTC crazies. I think we all go through it, I've been pretty good this month actually, just laid back about it and no really trying to dwell on any symptoms etc, but last month I was a nightmare. Now AF is due (and not showing herself so far!) i'm beginning to think about it a lot more, and probably will until Sunday when I want to test.

But just remember stress can be counter productive to TTC she says drinking 3rd coffee of the day

Oh and DP has told me I have to POAS tomorrow because I am going on a massive boozy lunch and night out, so to be 100% sure I'm not upduffed I get to POAIC yay for me....

Is it just me or does each day seem to take a lifetime when ttc? Days just used to whizz by but I feel like my whole world has slowed and I'm only 2 weeks into my first cycle. Does it get easier? not 100% sure I want the answer

My days fly by muddy I guess it's just how much you think about it. I was saying to DP the other night it doesn't feel like 24 days since my mini-cycle! It's mental!