On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

I'm Twotting with a hundred symptoms. There definitely something going on. I'm just hoping it's not another chem and keeping everything crossed for a sticky bean

Will be POAS next Friday unless I lose the plot

LOVE the pants!!!

jelly I was only joking. No I wasn't. Yes, I was How did you get on the trial? That's awesome with the free scans and all that!!

Argh! Am so envious of you JS'ers. My cape is completely dusty. 1 more week to OH coming back.

purple hit us with todays symptoms!!

well bumble its partly in case I have a 2nd crazy cycle, I know my cycles work & roughly what days things happen. I don't want to stress over it every month anymore. Sure approach to AF will be nervous as ever, don't think I'll manage to escape that...

Headache
Nausea
Stabby boobs
Weird warm feeling under my skin
Constipation
Moody as feck
Peeing like a racehorse
Migraine?
Starving
Knackered

Gakay saw it on this fred: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2257549-Planning-to-get-pregnant-soon-Join-the-Conceive-study

I think you're a spy now. I'm convinced of it...

Purple how many DPO are you? They all sound pretty solid symptoms, but I'm not going to try and convince you to test because it might just break your heart to see a BFN.

Gx crossed though!

Waves pom poms and disco pants for all you shaggers!!!! Get your capes on get your capes on

Bloods are usually back at your gp within 7 days. Next steps will depend on findings so don't worry yourself yet even if you didn't ice it doesn't mean you never do, it's v. Common not to sometimes.

Ooooh purple! Fingers crossed!

I am Twotting too. Boo, what fun is a wedding without shit tonnes of wine?! Oh well, will nurse a glass I guess.

Jelly don't feel bad. I am on The Stork trial. It seems to be essentially a posh turkey baster type thing! But hey, gingers I don't need it!

Of course we're in a hotel the next two nights. The cape is on!

hahaha!!! loving the pants noniks

purple they were the standard xfactor "let's make a boyband from the rejects" band last year. teenage girls (going on my 2 DSD's) go crazy for them!

Thanks lovelies, I'm convinced its at least a chem. I'm not due to test til next Friday so I'm on Day 21. Not sure how many DPO because I had pant snot on 2 days, could be 7 or 10. Could have iced twice common in the over 40s in which case it could be twins eeeek!

purple that's so exciting. Both in terms of the convincing symptoms and the idea of twins!

jelly I've just emailed them for more info as no one answered the phone.

gakay i emailed them too and got a quick response. It is Friday afternoon though, bear in mind :)

purple i'm gonna throw out a hooyah as well as crossing gingers

Get shagging honey!! Perfect opportunity!

purple I'm getting excited on your behalf looking forward to POAS day!

noniks you too buddy!! Shag shag shag!!

Stupid question but is is better to shag every day or every other day? Every day would seem more logical but I keep hearing every other. Why is this?

muddy EOD is better for sperm, means you get a better quality and quantity of ejaculate. Most viroids try to go for EOD and then also day of icing as a good rule to follow

Thanks Indigo, that makes sense. All this ttc stuff would be so much easier if we were like fish - we could release a bunch of eggs, he'd release a cloud of sperm into the water, and we'd have a load of happy babbers before the week was out.

But fish don't have sex Muddy!

Isn't it mad? I was talking last night to a lady who deals with the teen pregnancies in the local hospital. We talked a lot about lack of proper sex education, but also the lack of education on how to get pregnant on purpose! The most they get in science class is the birds and the bees in year 8, then how periods work in terms of hormones (and what they do) for two lessons (maybe one) in year ten.

True true Purple - they definitely wouldn't be allowed on this thread!! Apparently not that I'm now googling fish sex some species of sharks actually do have sex using special claspers.

not sure who asked about fertility tests as I'm tired! but after I had bloods and dh had sa we were referred to clinic (because he had bad sa results). I then had ultrasound and hsg (an xray with dye). then we were told we would be given icsi treatment because of the sperm (so pointless giving me a hsg really but ho hum). has taken 12months from first seeing gp to starting ivf with a clinic with apparently no waiting lists.

can anyone tell me why some of us get a little windy around AF time? it's always bamboozled me lol!!
as you may guess it's a bit breezy round mine tonight, although I'm hoping against hope that it's due to my diet the last couple of days and not AF as that witch ain't due till next week!

Oh my good lord I've just outed myself to purple and will shortly do so to the rest of you please don't let any of you be my colleagues or friends as you now know that I've poked my cervix and had too-enthusiastic sex recently

CD13 and I'm getting my cape on tonight for the first time since CD 6 thanks cystitis so fingers crossed all is not lost for this cycle!