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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

999 replies

jellypi3 · 07/12/2014 16:44

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Indigoblue2 · 12/12/2014 12:09

I'm good jellzer! Not much nausea but only 5+2. Got constantly sore boobies! Lines on sticks getting darker have used several. Was just getting a bit wound up over mc risk. There seemed to be quite a bit of chat about it on here for a while, which I'm absolutely not moaning about, this is the best place to share and commiserate and is totally what I would be doing too. Just timing wise, being so early on, I was finding reading too much about MCs was making me anxious more anxious and was trying to stay off Fred a bit more to keep calm. But I didn't want you all to think I'd got a BFP and then fucked off!! In a couple weeks I'm hoping to feel even more confident. Nobody tells you how the days draaaagggg when you are in the early days do they?!

Muddytoes1 · 12/12/2014 12:10

Yep lots of shagging Jelli - I'm sure I'll get sick of this after a couple of months but right now loving the TTC malarky Grin

jellypi3 · 12/12/2014 12:38

Good work muddy :)

That's good to hear ind :) I bet it's nerve wracking, but I guess the worst thing you can do is stress out over it too much (I guess like most things stress can have negative effects?)

OP posts:
Poochieblue · 12/12/2014 13:05

this is completely un-js related but I have to ask opinions...

so one of local supermarkets, which happens to be on a retail park (which is a nightmare on any given Saturday) has got a new but popular boyband booked to do record signings next Saturday... which also happens to be the last one before Christmas! does anyone else think this is ridiculous?!

the only bright side is I've heard about it so I can avoid the surround 5mile area!! it's just going to be utter madness!!!

jellypi3 · 12/12/2014 14:01

what band is it? does seem a bit ridic! :)

OP posts:
TinkerBlue · 12/12/2014 14:02

That is ridiculous pooch unless it's someone good, in which case I'm there?? Who who?

Poochieblue · 12/12/2014 14:08

lol it's union J, apparently it was supposed to be tomorrow but they're doing the x factor final instead! (but rude lol!!)

Poochieblue · 12/12/2014 14:08

"bit" not but lol

gakay · 12/12/2014 14:54

mistle hope your appt this morning went well.

Sorry about all the mc talk before. Anyway, am desperately waiting for OH to come back so that we can JS again - more for fun than for anything else as god knows what's happening to my cycle. It's been a long time since we've had any action!

I've thought long and hard but think I might have to give fb a miss because of my work I work in MI5, no I dont hope you don't mind and won't kick me out of the Fred. Am feeling a bit excluded Sad

TinkerBlue · 12/12/2014 14:56

gakay please don't apologize for mc talk. That's what we're here for.

Purplecircle · 12/12/2014 14:56

Yeah Jelly. I daren't take anything other than paracetamol. I had a couple of hours sleep and it's much better. Forgot I had a nail appointment so I sat there in sunglasses

Purplecircle · 12/12/2014 14:59

I'm showing my age. I've never heard of them!

jellypi3 · 12/12/2014 15:05

Gakay I am so gullible, do you really work for MI5? Is so that's amazing (but super secret)

OP posts:
Leela5 · 12/12/2014 15:23

Indigo it's so nerve wracking and I'd love to tell you it gets less as you go but id be lying! Im 9 weeks today and symptom spotting like a loon.

But for every person who has a mc there are many more who don't. So there's every chance you'll sail through the crap stage.

I'm having a disco nap before work drinks tonight ancient I am

MI5? I went past there yesterday! The group is completely private, no one can see you're in it. But obviously if you'd worry then don't risk it. I've taken who I work for off my Facebook as it gets so annoying being tagged into every post where people expect me to solve a problem, or I can't comment freely because we've got to be careful to make sure people know it's our own views, not those of the organisation. Very political!

I can't put who I work for here but will do on the page. Will post a pic of my famous kitty

Purplecircle · 12/12/2014 15:35

There's no obligation to join the FB group. It doesn't replace the fred at all Smile

Leela5 · 12/12/2014 15:41

Yeah we only use grads one to post scan pics really, the thread is the important bit Smile

honeybeebumble · 12/12/2014 15:53

Who else is in the 2ww at the moment? I'm losing track!

I'm rather confused today as I have post-ov symptoms but still no BBT rise (CD20 - cycles are usually 30/31 days). Also had blood test for progesterone today... I think it's going to be low/non existent.

Of those of you who have had fertility appointments, what was the process after getting blood test results? Or are there usually other tests first?

mistletoe I'd be really interested to hear how yours goes?

Noniks3 · 12/12/2014 15:58

Happy Friday all

Saw these & couldn't help myself...

On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35
honeysucklejasmine · 12/12/2014 16:00

I am going away for the weekend girlies. Wedding on the south coast, vair naice. Going to miss you all! What are your plans?

jellypi3 · 12/12/2014 16:01

I'm technically Twotting but with no real hopes of it returning any results!

I signed up for some crazy fertility trial today, I'm a baaaad js'er! Although you get a load of scans on it (a free 6 week scan and 3d scan at 30-odd weeks) which I thought was cool! Plus a free CBAFM!

Never had fertility tests before bum so can't help sorry

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 12/12/2014 16:01

Noniks! That is amazing! Well done you, I think you have finally found your knickers!

Noniks3 · 12/12/2014 16:03

despite the fact I'm not charting this month couldn't take the disappointment if I have another short cycle I was rather rampant this morning if anyone used to watch South Park in the day think Cartmans kitty in heat however despite my efforts I was resisted!! Possibly as it was 6am... Blush However tonight I am getting some disco pants action. I have decided my body is telling me I'm good to go & that works for me this month

Also I agree poochie that's colossally bad thinking - this coming from someone that worked in retail & knows the carnage too well!

Noniks3 · 12/12/2014 16:05

might actually purchase these honey! Fecking love 'em!!

Saves telling DH the crimson wave has arrived too - just don the pants...

Noniks3 · 12/12/2014 16:07

and was it gaggia that got her back door banged in - these are the pants for her...

On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35
honeybeebumble · 12/12/2014 16:09

noniks those are brilliant!

Also, interesting to hear you've gone for the non-charting/just-go-with-it approach this month. I've been thinking about doing that...

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