On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

Goddamn I missed the group hug!! to be fair it was because I feel asleep straight after seducing DH, so allowed

So - huuuuuggggggs

Tink when will this madness end?! Hope you're doing ok with this additional news. Echo the other viroids that it's positive from a solution point of view, but must be tough

Commander this is such a stressful time. If you still have HCG in your system that would explain the symptoms, unfortunately I still had them for 3 days after I started bleeding but they disappeared on day 4 & I knew it was all over. Hope for better for you my sweet x

Deeply when my cycle is normal they are 28 days & I ice on CD16. With a 28-30 day cycle icing from 16-19 is ok as LP should be min of 10 days.

GX for all you twotters

god I am ravenously hungry today! I didn't have breakfast (never do) but just demolished a chicken pitta, a small box of sushi and a packet of crisps...and it's not even lunch time! Gah!

Oh Lil forgot to say I think i iced on CD16 not 18, so a 26-28 day cycle is about right. I really think AF is coming though, getting lots of pants action at the moment (and not the arousing type).

Oh Commander it's so frustrating for you. My current pregnancy behaved like that, but without the mindfuck that is the HCG levels. Hope the scan brings some answers for you

Deeply I never know when I iced, but this pregnancy it was at least CD22 (est 14D LP, but who knows). Got me a faint BFP on CD36 - was the cycle after the wtf one too.

deeply forget cycle length as that changes depending when you ice. the phase from day 1 of af to icing is the follicular phase. This is different woman to woman and even month to month in the same woman. The phase from icing to day before af is the leutal phase and never changes in the same woman. eg. my lp is 14 days and I can pretty much predict af to the hour based on my icing pains. If you ice late, af will be due later. day 15 is not late at all, and stress does delay ovulation.
i iced cd14 one cycle and the cycle afterwards cd25. it's just law of sod that your cycles are messing you around now you are ttc.
Also don't panic if you don't ice at all this cycle. it is normal to have 2 annovulatory cycles per year apparently.

commander i really feel for you. hope you get conclusive answers soon

jelly you are the anti symptom spotter. whilst everyone is making up bfp symptoms, you are predicting af! nutter!

Oh my lord I'm SO behind. I've got about 10 pages to read!

Update from me: I should have iced on Tues (CD17)... feel like I did, have all the right symptoms before and after... but BBT not rising. Having second blood test tomorrow which will give me more info. Maybe not producing enough progesterone? Maybe not ovulating this time round (at all?!)? This is now my ninth cycle since starting trying. Had no idea it would take this long or be this confusing!

How is everyone today?!

commander it is tough to have pg symptoms when you know you are going through an mc. Your levels do seem very low so, I'm sorry to say, but think might be best not to have your hopes up. I've just got a call from epu telling me my levels 100 on monday and still 92 yesterday. My proper bleeding started on Saturday and am now only spotting. Can't wait for hcg to go all the way down so that I can try again. Though may not be a bad thing as OH is away this week. Take care x

lil one of us has to be the voice of reason in all this madness. When you get your BFP in February we will need someone to dish out the Hooyah's! I'm just training myself to be that person! :D (Sorry if I sound like a negative nancy though, that's NOT my goal).

Bum lovely to see you back :) I'm good, looking at buying a new PC which is expensive, but DP insists (because mine is dying a slow, painful death).

Oh and my cat has Gastro...how the fuck does a cat get gastro??

Thought I would do the first cat pic of the Fred. Here's my gassy cat

Another rise on the temp for me this morning, hoping for just one more before FF confirms :-)

purple i would join a closed Fb group, let us know if you do it

bum lovely to see you back :-) i'm fine today thank you, few mild cramps that i am trying to ignore as i don't want another hooyah and i'm starving but i think that's cos it's cold outside, i swear i was meant to hibernate in winter!

commander gakay am thinking of you both at this horrible time

ooooohhh jelly he is a cutie!! does he stink?! hope he gets better soon!

Thanks, all - considering self firmly hooyahed and have provided myself with a grip :)
Hoping now to ice at the weekend for extra cape opportunities!
Sorry to hear about all the mcs and thinking of you .... Be extra kind to yourselves over the next few weeks. Xx

I know my HCG levels are low. I know there's no hope. It doesn't stop me feeling absolutely fucking miserable about it.

no it won't do commander and you are entitled to feel miserable, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. just please look after yourself

commander so sorry lovely. Hopefully that might mean the worst of the physical side is over now? I hope you're not at work and have someone bringing you tea and buns you sound like you need a good cuddle, if you're anywhere near staffs let me know and I will come round and administer. And we can watch Jeremy Kyle together and throw things at the telly! noniks can bring some mince pies, jelly can bring smelly cat and everyone else can form the jsers choir and sing "smelly cat" at the door in the snow

My DH has just text me from work to tell me he's blocked the toilet there for the 2nd day running! he's a disgusting pig why would he share that with me?!? ok so ive now shared with you lot sorry about that I married this man!!!!!!

oh didn't read tinks post before i did mine, i'm in staffs so if commander is i'm on for a round of smelly cat and help with the administration of tea and buns and general waiting on her hand and foot!

commander I apologise if you found my last message insensitive. Of course you are entitled to feel miserable. It is horrible what you are going through and it probably feels very unfair too. How you are feeling is probably very different to how I'm feeling with mc. All I want is for the mc to be over and hcg to go away so that I can try again. Work wants to me focus at work and plan my next 2 years here and forget about my mc's and hope for a baby. Friend coming home for Xmas wants to me spend every day partying with her. Therapist wants me to feel my pain and loss. But all I want is for it to be over and JS and make a sticky bean.

Anyway, how do you viroids feel about sushi? I'm going for a sushi feast this evening. Can't wait!!!

Haha Tink that sounds amazing! Although my cat’s not too smelly, just vommy.

I just picked a spot on my chin and now it’s bleeding and I look like a right numpty!

pooch your DH is funny. It reminds me my ex told me how he once had a bad tummy ache when he was in transit at a train station. (TMI alert) No cubicles were free and he ended up having an explosive no. 2 in the urinal. guess I've made the right decision dumping him

hahahaha!! gakay can say DH hasn't had anything like that happen but is safe to say i would hear all about it if it did!!! He's just said that I wouldn't love him the same if he didn't tell me these things - he has strange opinions on why i love him! haha!! good job i bloody do!!

everytime i go to the toilet and don't see AF I think of it as a mini acheievement now! God forbid what I'll be like if I am late lol!

Oh dear Jelly! Poor Kitty!

I just cut out loads of squares for a quilt. Now, will it be a normal one or a bubble quilt? Votes please!

Gakay I love sushi!

ooooohhhh i vote bubble quilt! (thanks for the link or i would have had to google lol!)

jelly i think every AF-less day is a mini achievement for you after last cycle

THAT BUBBLE QUILT IS MENTAL HONEY

ah sorry for caps! But it's mental, would it be comfy?