On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!

i also just ate a brownie AND a snickers bar...no wonder i'm bloody overweight!

Really need to go for a run tonight!

if i told you i'd have 8 biscuits and 3 pieces of huge toblerone would you feel better? - oh and no intention of doing that run thing of which you speak! i get paranoid about people seeing me, although now it's dark that's not so much of an excuse. now it's just too bloomin cold out!! I suffer with really painful ear ache when it's cold and always puts me off (the reason i refused to join the hockey team at school! it should be a summer sport haha!) I need old fashioned ear muffs!!

what are peoples opinions/experiences on what is appropriate to wear to a house party?! i suppose it's more of a bit "get together" but i'm not that close to the couple (friend of best friend) and it's this saturday and i'm already stressing on what to put on!

I rarely stray from my jeans and hoodies, but if I do I tend to wear a colorful dress with leggings and a cardi, fairly standard, not too formal, but makes me look like a girl which I often struggle with!

And thanks pooch I do feel a bit better lol. I need to get out running though, I enjoy outdoor sports (play football) but I want to do that C25K thing, and ideally start before getting upduffed so I can carry on (they say don't do any new excercise when you're preggers).

yeah i've read that, i have a gym membership that i need to start using again (stopped when i put my back out earlier in the year) so i can keep going when upduffed. not tonight for me though lol

I know if when I get upduffed I'll have to stop the footie after 12 weeks, so I want to be able to do something that keeps me fit. I'm heavy but I'm fit (or was before I broke my foot). I have an exercise bike at home but it's so boring just riding away (unlike shagging eh ladies!)

Aww commander and gakay I'm so sorry for you, I hope that you will be ok, it's so shitty Look after yourselves.

Poochie to a house party I would probably wear something like jeans, wedges (if you can keep shoes on) and a nice top with a big necklace or earrings. Or a short casual dress with tights and boots.

I'm most definitely getting my cape on tonight, maybe it's the drugs masking it but the cystitis feels like it's gone - will carry on with the antibiotics etc until I've finished them and will tell hubby to take it steady so no further damage! It's CD12, can't risk leaving it any longer!! This baby isn't going to make itself!

I help, yes?

Thanks pat I think I will go for jeans with a dressier top

honey how cute you not let that cute face help! Lol x

Ooo just realised next AF due on New Year's Day! I know I'm v unlikely to get a bfp in my first month but what a way to see in 2015 if it happened

damn it. just wrote out a post and went and lost it. grr..

that'll teach me for being distracted by mn and not doing my assessments...

Ooh muddy I am similar timing to you! AF is due on 29th-30th Dec for me so I would probably POAS on 1st or 2nd Jan if she hasn't arrived by then.

Batfish exciting! Do you reckon it would be ok to poas on the 1st Jan or do I need to wait til a couple of days after AF due? Also does this mean I can't drink at Xmas?

Well I am almost clueless so if this is all lies then someone please correct me.....but I believe you can test 2 weeks after ovulation - so if you know you ovulate 2 weeks before your period is due then I think you can test when it would be due? But if you ovulate late or early then it would be different. I think.

I personally am not planning to abstain from alcohol at any point until I get a BFP but some viroids do lay off alcohol during their two week wait. But I have read stuff that says that it would be so early in the pregnancy that the foetus wouldn't be getting anything from your body yet so drinking is fine. But not sure how true that is or isn't so I guess it comes down to each person's preference.

I was gutted that AF came a couple of days early for me this time so I didn't get to POAS, it's been years since I have and that time I was hoping for a BFN!

I was wondering that too muddy coz depending on if and when I ice I should be due on the 30th and likely to be 9dpo on christmas day.....

Sorry to all those who have mc. I'm getting waves of sadness now and again but trying not to think of it and be positive for the future

And sorry to Tink hopefully it will sort itself all out for your bfp in February

viroids the oracle is here! bean gets nothing fro. you until 5 weeks BUT there are suggestions alcohol can affect implantation. I'd say have a bit but don't go mad. personally I'm abstaining in lead up to ivf.

as for when to test it depends on the test. a frer can be 3days before AF and in theory so can ics, BUT if you have a short lp that may give false neg as hcg unlikely to be detectable until 3dsys after implantation. I'd wait until you're late. remember always use fmu for pg tests.

purple are you starting group on fb then?

Wow thanks Batfish! I have no idea about my cycles as had never counted until last month which was 29 days. Got stomach cramps days 12-14 which I've heard can sometimes happen when you ovulate but have never kept track of these before. Guess I will just have to keep shagging and wait and see

Thanks Lil that's great feel like I'm learning a new language good to know I can have a little to drink, think people might get suspicious otherwise and I haven't told anyone I'm ttc.

the viroids will have plenty of suggestions for how to avoid the questikins (anyone remember that js phrase or is that way before any of you? think it came from bear). my favourite was if your out getting bar tender on side. think la suggested that.

or having a drinking buddy, someone you can talk to and say u aren't drinking for various reasons.

So when thinking about what to have for dinner and looking at a low GI foods list I decided I really wanted to have an omelette. All well and good, apart from despite being an okay cook I cannot make omelettes to save my life! Ah well. It was edible! Just not presented particularly well! Haha.

It is my work Christmas night out tomorrow. Do you reckon I could have a couple of drinks on Metformin? I'm not planning on getting hammered or anything, I'm definitely not a big drinker.

FRER are buy one get one half price in superdrug. I stocked up today. Not POAS until next Friday though

Yes I think I will set one up. Any suggestions for a name?

I've stopped drinking because I have a million symptoms.
I did drink last weekend though.

the grads one is just called js graduates purple so maybe js undergrads for name. Just for the live of god make sure it's a secret group!

ain I used to be rubbish at them but have got better with practice. here's my tips: small pan, light coating of oil (I use a spray) or butter to stop it sticking, lowish heat so it cooks mostly through before you flip it and don't cook too long after flipping. I just put filling on top of one half, fold over, flip to melt the cheese a bit then serve. it really can be hit or miss though! of and a good spatula is a must too!