Any 40+ ladies out there TTC #1?

[JessieMcJessie]

Have looked at the buses and things but I feel a bit geriatric on them, with all the ages there for all to see, and the "old birds" type threads are lovely and supportive but a lot of the posters are dealing with issues like how to juggle older kids and a later pregnancy, or comparing ttc experiences now with the first time round.

Just wondered if anyone else was like me, basically didn't meet the right person till pretty late in life and now playing catchup and feeling slightly terrified of having left it all too late. I'm 41 (and 3 months) and DH and I got married in June and are now starting TTC. Most of my contemporaries had 2 or 3 kids before they were 40. I'm not afraid of the tiredness/no energy older Mum thing, or even really how old I'd look or feel at the school gates- I have actually been told many times I look younger than I am. No fertility probs that I know of and cycles seem regular and 28 days, but I have this awful dread that if the average time to conceive when young and healthy is 6 months, I just don't have enough time left. Silly to worry I know since we've only just started our 2nd cycle TTC, but would love to hear from anyone else in a similar position.

Hi jessie I'm up late, can't sleep.

I just had a good long squint and can definitely see a line. It's hard to tell if there is colour though. It does look v v v v v v v slightly pink but if it's grey then it's probably an evil evaporation line. Can you see pink? Sometimes it helps to cover the control line when squinting. Also holding it over a lightbulb helps !

If it is a pink line and turns out to be a chemical then that is still positive news in the bigger picture.

Yes it could very well be too early for CB digi to pick up any HCg.

Hi annie hope the insomnia isn't too miserable but nice for me that you are up!

It's definitely pink. You are right, if it is a chemical that is indeed still excellent news as it means that one of DH's sperm managed to get into an egg ( twice now). That's the bit that bad morphology is supposed to make difficult, so perhaps not as bad as I had feared.

Oh well, better throw myself into work now.

I can see the feintest of pink lines

I hope that is a pink line, Annie
I am currently really down and left work early to have a little sob. I got my AMH results back.
Now I know I expected 'low', but I got 'very low'.
Again I should expect it and I know it is not anywhere near the whole picture AND have googled lots of forums of folks getting pregnant with low and none existent AMH and all those before the test existed!!! AND!! just read this from a low AMH study 'Another limitation of their findings is that AMH levels can vary from lab to lab and their numbers should not be taken literally.'
But right now I feel like I have been punched in the stomach.
????????????????????
Hope everyone else is doing ok ????

Jessie I've just had a look with fresh eyes and zoomed right in. I can see the pink now and the line is the right thickness. You've got to get through the day now and see what happens in the morning! fingers X'd!!

(((Daisy))) sending you unmumsnetty hugs. It's so much to deal with getting results and having to go through a normal day at work. Did you get a number for your AMH? I think it's normal for over 40's to be low. The most important thing to remember is that AMH is a test of quantity and not quality.

I had it done last year and felt quite good when I got the result as it was higher than average but it's crap because a high ovarian reserve is not going to give you a baby if they are all poor quality.

It's all about quality quality quality. All you need is ONE good egg in there! XX

Thanks for the extra forensics Annie and Remember . It's like in a James Bond film where they zoom right in to a distant window on a building in the back of a photo and then can see the words on a document on the table inside :-)

I did an IC mid morning (had left them at work so didn't have any over the weekend; the one in the pic is a cheapish pharmacy one) and it had a very very squinty shadow of a line on it, but less strong than the line in the pic. Not FMU of course. I don't know what sensitivity my ICs are, all the writing is in Chinese except where is says HCG 2.8 mm which makes no sense on the mIU scale. However my pharmacy one is 25 miu which I have read today is the same as FRER (which I had previously thought was 10).

Daisy did the clinic give you any explanation along with your AMH result? It's a horrible thing that on the one had we want facts but then when we do find them out we sort of wish we hadn't known - I felt like that about DH's bad morphology.

However my understanding is that AMH testing was developed to measure how well a woman would respond to drugs to stimulate ovaries for multiple egg collection. As Annie says, it doesn't measure quality so as long as you are ovulating every month you have just as much chance of getting pregnant as any other woman not doing assisted conception. And while the reserve may seem low there are probably enough eggs in there for you to comfortably pop out one a month for the next 10 months and still have plenty to spare. I haven't looked into the relationship between AMH levels and likely commencement of menopause but I think that FSH is a better indicator of that - did they do your FSH too?

If you are already doing OPKs it might be worth having a go at temping to confirm that you are ovulating. And possibly consider whether you should go all out and do IVF if you really want to have a baby now.

OK, it's 6.30 pm so I am off home to hope that the evening flies by - only one sleep until another fresh stream of morning urine to test ....

Oh Jessie!! What a cliff hanger!!

I've just zoomed my screen in as much as I can and I think I can see a faint line too. I feel really bad now for being a Debbie Downer before and saying it was prob an evap line!

Oh my gosh .. hope you're managing to sleep.

It will indeed be encouraging though even if only a chem. If a chem you are getting a good track record and surely sooner or later you will get there ...

If it's not a chem, well .... yipppeeee!

Let's see ... stay cool if you can. :-)

Oh, and Daisy, sorry you're feeling down, love. Try to hang on in there. From what I've heard statistics don't always mean much ...

No line this morning . Must have been a chemical. Oh well, onwards and upwards and all good data for the IVF clinic in London.

Oh dear! Never mind, yes all good for the IVF clinic. When will your first appointment be?
Wish I could go that way but I'm an unmarried Harlot so it's not to be.
I know I don't know you but I feel a bit sad that I'm going to lose my fellow HKer
Looking forward to hearing about your IVF journey in the UK

Yes, HK rules on being married for IVF are ridiculous, but I did remember that you were single when I mentioned it yesterday; my good friend who lived here had donor IVF at a clinic in Cyprus but the docs here did all the prep with her and the whole thing was done in the space of about 3weeks. She is a teacher though so had long holidays. I can put you in touch with her if you pm me. She has since moved back to the UK otherwise you could have met up.

Ok, I'll PM you. I looked into Thailand but some clinics said you need to be there for 2 months!! Who can do that?
I am a teacher but unfortunately summer is already here, too late to plan.
I will have given up by next summer

If I could only be there for 2 weeks I could try at Christmas.

And it doesn't make it easier that I have to come to work and be with 24 nine year olds all day!!

Really sorry for your disappointment this morning, Jessie. .Hope you're OK. It's always so much worse when you are given some reason to get your hopes up a little, isn't it? :-(

Daisy, 2 months in Thailand sounds wonderful! But I know, not a very helpful comment!! Is it definitely too late for you to arrange something this summer? It's amazing having all those weeks off as a teacher ... ;-)

Jessie sorry there is no line this morning. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts to you.

Oh no. Sorry jessie, I really had my hopes up for you. Och its so unfair.

As you say it's good data for the clinic and DH's swimmers really are doing a sterling job.

This summer would be starting in 3 weeks!! So no, I think it will take time to have the all the tests done.
I think I will continue with trying naturally and make inquiries into IVF in Cyprus. It would be lovely to have the luck I've read about that once you arrange IVF you get a BFP!
Also I would have to arrange a doc here to give me the relevant medication etc.
it gives me time to get myself fighting fit!!
Also after Xmas I have Chinese New Year hols and Easter, so if it fails I have some other hols to consider. I am getting the other tests done starting next cycle which would be next week.
This is making me feel more positive.

HS26 you've put ideas in my head!! At the moment I'm spending 2 weeks in the UK and then relaxing for 2 weeks back in HK. I suppose I could change flight dates and go to Cyprus the third week of my holiday (ovulation time).
On the one hand, I would like more time to get super healthy and get my head round it. on the other hand, if I did it in the summer I would have more holiday time, and if it didn't work out I could use Christmas hols for another try.
I'm a bit concerned about getting the drugs here. But I'm sure that's not too difficult to solve.
Eek! Sorry for rambling...I don't have anyone to talk to about it this morning here. So you guys are my sounding board.
Hope everyone is good this morning!

Just to put more ideas in your head DaisyBoo the clinic I mentioned in an earlier post that my friend had visited in Barcelona also do everything that you want.
She went for an appointment and said the staff were lovely and they are all geared up for people traveling from other Countries.
You can find them here: institutmarques.com/
Might be worth an email or a phone call

O

Oh God. That site says that they think IVF for women over 42 is unethical as there is not one single live birth recorded in Spain for women over 42. I am 42 in August. Fuck.

Daisy, if you can afford it (both time and money-wise) you could just go for it ... and have a nice week in Cyprus at the same time! I don't suppose you can lose anything??

I must say though, Jessie, I have been reading that IVF chances over 40 are not much better than natural chances. Not sure if I'm getting the correct picture though ...

OK, so now just to cheer everyone up ... I went for a pap smear today and the nurse was very jolly and encouraging. When I told her we were ttc and my age, she told me all sorts of stories about e.g. her sister who didn't have children (yes, plural) til her early forties, a friend who conceived naturally after 2 failed IVFs in her forties, and another friend who had two babies at 50 and 51 (yes, you read that right) by IVF!!! She said don't give up and stay positive!

She told me all this as I was lying legs asunder worrying about the window -cleaner turning up as there was a big skylight above us!! When I mentioned it as a joke she said 'Don't worry, they came this morning!' Eeek!

Left feeling a bit encouraged, though!

Jessie, seriously?? I didn't see that bit. Sorry I didn't mean to panic you. Wow that I find very surprising, especially as my friend here in the UK is starting her IVF treatment next month and she is 43. I see though looking at the statistics for clinics in London and the South East that there are cases of live births in those clinics for women in the 40-42 bracket and in the 43-44, like this one here: guide.hfea.gov.uk/guide/HeadlineData.aspx?code=254&s=g&&gv=No%20data%20value&nav=2&rate=i&rate_sub=FSO and this one: guide.hfea.gov.uk/guide/HeadlineData.aspx?code=157&s=g&&gv=No%20data%20value&nav=2&rate=i&rate_sub=FSO

I can barely bring myself to look at the success stats on IVF clinic sites for over 40s. However I try to tell myself that the patients forming the stats may be women with many years of serious fertility issues, not just age. I just want to get on with sitting down with a clinic and having a proper personalised consultation. I think that for us the problem is that DH' s sperm need help to get in there, so our chances must be higher than natural, right?

By the way got another v faint test line this morning (fainter than the one I posted but similar to what I was getting on Sunday). I knew that I was unlikely to have a viable pregnancy but decided to have the pre-scheduled blood hcg anyway, just to make sure before I hit the booze and also to see if there was ever any hcg there to confirm the chemical, as that would be helpful info. Came back at 2.8 so am thinking that my tests were shit and they must have been evap lines, no way that level should have shown up anything on the test this morning. Bring on the embryologist and her special sperm injecting skills.

Bah. Won't have another chance till early August now.