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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Any 40+ ladies out there TTC #1?

999 replies

JessieMcJessie · 25/11/2014 13:00

Have looked at the buses and things but I feel a bit geriatric on them, with all the ages there for all to see, and the "old birds" type threads are lovely and supportive but a lot of the posters are dealing with issues like how to juggle older kids and a later pregnancy, or comparing ttc experiences now with the first time round.

Just wondered if anyone else was like me, basically didn't meet the right person till pretty late in life and now playing catchup and feeling slightly terrified of having left it all too late. I'm 41 (and 3 months) and DH and I got married in June and are now starting TTC. Most of my contemporaries had 2 or 3 kids before they were 40. I'm not afraid of the tiredness/no energy older Mum thing, or even really how old I'd look or feel at the school gates- I have actually been told many times I look younger than I am. No fertility probs that I know of and cycles seem regular and 28 days, but I have this awful dread that if the average time to conceive when young and healthy is 6 months, I just don't have enough time left. Silly to worry I know since we've only just started our 2nd cycle TTC, but would love to hear from anyone else in a similar position.

OP posts:
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crispiecrunchie · 18/04/2015 15:03

It's never too early to blame baby brain! All is well so far! X

HS26 · 18/04/2015 19:58

I'm glad Happiness asked about the symptoms, Jessie, because I was going to ask the same! I've been getting bad cramps and other PMT symptoms earlier and earlier in the 2ww lately and always think that means I'm out as soon as they begin - but maybe not!!

I forgot about Crispie! So this thread really has seen some success so far!

Oh, welcome to Cityzen too. I'm like you, Cityzen. Deep down I thought it would have happened before now (we've been going for 9 months) - because DH and I look young for our age and are so 'healthy', I guess. But I bet we will get there, too ... just need a bit more patience!

AnnieHoo · 18/04/2015 20:27

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!! Jessie this is fabulous news!!!! Smile

TheHappinessTrap · 19/04/2015 18:37

Hi Cityzen, hello again Crispie!

Where are you in the 2ww HS26?

CD 26 here. I haven't taken the vitamins for 2 or 3 weeks (laziness) and I would normally have a 24 day cycle, but I suppose could still be the effect of the vitamins - or is that really woo considering they probably don't store up in the body? Either way, of course I tested and got a bfn.

HS26 · 19/04/2015 20:17

Ooh, Happiness, that is really frustrating when that happens, isn't it? Happened to me last month, and started to get my hopes up :-(

In not in 2ww yet. So getting busy over the next few days ... ;-) ;-)

Cityzen74 · 20/04/2015 08:57

Congratulations Jessie - that is really great news and I'm very pleased for you!

Thanks for your welcomes everyone.

Am feeling bit down today as AF has arrived. She's a bit strange so far but no doubt she'll be here properly before the end of the day and then I'll have to get back to the counting days and checking when I'm ovulating etc! Oh well this is a good opportunity to remember to take my folic acid every day and not just when I remember!

HS26 - Yes I totally never ever thought I'd have any trouble getting pregnant but of course you never know until you start trying. I'm a generally optimistic person so I'm trying to apply that to ttc but it gets very tiring doesn't it? Good luck in the next few days. That will be me this time next week!

Anyway, it does cheer me up coming on here and reading about lovely bfps.

Fingers crossed for everyone.

Cityzen74 · 20/04/2015 08:58

Charlie Girl - any news? Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

HS26 · 20/04/2015 09:16

Oh damn it, Cityzen74! I know exactly how you must be feeling. I sooo dread that first day of af because I always find it so hard to keep it together.

Just out of interest, do you do every day/every other day/something else during ov. time? We're trying every other day this month - especially as it worked for Jessie this past month (yippee!) We've tried every day but we end up exhausting and stressing ourselves ... and sometimes we've been stopping a bit too early I think, too. I think it's probably best to spread things out over a few more days! Worth a try, anyway!

charliegirl74 · 20/04/2015 09:38

Hi Cityzen,

Thanks for asking. Nothing as yet, AF due on Wednesday - however just noticed when I went too loo a little pinky blood. Not sure if AF may have come early - just to kick me in the teeth! :(

So sorry to hear AF has come for you lovely. :(

x

AnnieHoo · 20/04/2015 11:15

Welcome Charliegirl and Cityzen !

Sorry I have been away busy doing job applications so haven't welcomed you yet. Lovely to have new ttc No. 1 ladies joining us!!

I'm hoping Jessie's news is the start of a run of BFPs.

I'm 4 DPO now and usually have a 14 day luteal phase so 10 more long days to wait!

I also worry that I 'give up' too soon so we made sure we did it enough this month.

We started DTD on CD10 and then CD12, CD14, CD16 (+), CD17 (+), CD 19.

I ovulated on CD17 as there was a shift in my temperature the next day. Should have DTD on CD18 too as it was the day after ovulation but just could not be bothered!!!

I've been really happy and chilled out since my mini meltdown a few weeks ago so maybe the meltdown was good for me!

AnnieHoo · 20/04/2015 11:19

sorry to hear about your spotting Charliegirl, i hope it goes away and isn't AF. Strange that you had it last week too.

charliegirl74 · 20/04/2015 12:39

Hi Annie,

Thanks for the welcome. :)

Not sure what's going on with me... feels like Mother Nature is playing games with me! :(

Sounds like you have been a busy bee - in many ways!! :)

Fingers crossed for us all.. and hopefully we are starting to turn the tides and good news will keep coming!

AnnieHoo · 20/04/2015 17:07

Well fingers crossed here it was implantation spotting for you last week.. don't want to get your hopes up though... Are you feeling crampy or anything?

It's a beautiful sunny day here today just back from a walk on the beach. I love Spring!

Good to hear you're doing well Crispie!

charliegirl74 · 20/04/2015 17:29

Hi Annie,

I did have some mild cramping, but I think it's AF on her way as feeling ridiculously stressed and ready to throttle people at work!! :(

Was thinking I felt more strange (and stressed!) than usual, but think that's probably because I want AF even less than usual!

Need to find something nice to focus on if it is her.

TheHappinessTrap · 20/04/2015 21:14

Hi everyone. No news, just reading up by phone before bed. Sorry to hear about the spotting Charlie. That irritation is so immediate isn't it. I can go from fine to murderous in a split second. Today I opted for bizarre anxiety. Aleo some one at work was v nice to me and I nearly bawled My eyes or. Hormones are no laughing matter.

It's interesting to hear what you're all doing re dtd. We do daily around ovulation but I also worry we stop too soon.

Cd 27 here. I have no symproms to entertain myself with. Wondering whether to test tomorrow.

charliegirl74 · 21/04/2015 08:37

Hi Happiness.

I really can be Jekyll & hide when AF is due!

Have you decided whether to test? How long is your usual cycle?

Cityzen74 · 21/04/2015 08:59

Sorry to hear you have spotting Charlie. It's always such a big disappointment isn't it. I was really hoping this month but in my heart of hearts when I felt really rubbish last Friday and on Saturday was in a really bad temper then I knew that AF was coming. Hopefully you have found a nice treat or something else to focus on instead of AF!

I am going for a swim at lunchtime today as I think I need to do more exercise and swimming always makes me feel good.

HS26 - I think part of our problem is not dtd enough. My dh is going through a really hard time at the moment and I don't want to put pressure on him but also we both really want a baby so we need to make sure we are dtd enough! I think last month we only dtd twice (not enough I know so perhaps shouldn't have been surprised by AF!!). I think that's a really good idea dtd every other day so will try that this month.

Happiness - I think we stop too soon so will try and rectify that too. Have you decided whether to test yet?

charliegirl74 · 21/04/2015 09:55

Looks like AF is here.. balls! :(

I started yoga last week, I think I may focus on that this week and find a couple of classes. Hopefully will help me feel calm and focussed in general and will help with the TTC..

Oh, and I think some reail therapy is in order too!

TheHappinessTrap · 21/04/2015 13:22

Just checking in by phone To look for help steadying my nerves. I'm only just managing to keep hope in check. Not spotting but no pg symptoms either. Had some cramps in the night so presumably is just a bizarre slow cycle. Ive been sitting in meetings all day trying to work but inside thinking "what's going on with my body? "

If af doesnt come by tomorrow I'll test. Cycle is usually 24/25 days but was longer last month because of the vitamins, and I tested a few days ago and Bfn.

HS26 · 21/04/2015 13:37

Oh, Happiness, that could be me writing that!

Since beginning ttc, my cycles have gone 'weird' so many times - before, they were always 26 days every time, unless I just wasn't paying attention and there was some variation occasionally. I don't think so, though.

Now, my body seems to have decided to trick me with 25 days one month, 28 the next. The 28 day ones are the worst because of course then I get my hopes up! I wonder if it's the stress of ttc knocking ovulation off a bit some months. In fact that's pretty likely, really. Maybe it's the same for you?

Hang on in there. You will find out soon enough (urgh! Sorry, I would probably hate it if someone well-meaning said that to me. But you know I AM well-meaning ...!) Have my fingers X'd for you ... you never know!!

JessieMcJessie · 21/04/2015 15:06

Hello all. Nothing new to report here, I will be 5 weeks tomorrow, it is SO just the beginning of the road. I almost feel silly for getting my hopes up. Time is moving so slowly. Don't have any symptoms; no pain or bleeding either but am scared to do another test in case it comes up negative. Appt with my GP tomorrow, so I guess she'll get me to POAS as she says she needs to "confirm" it to get things moving in the system here.

In the meantime am trying to eat mega- healthily and get all those folates into my system. Not enjoying limiting myself to 1 cup of real tea a day! can't find decaf tea here so am reduced to herbal stuff when I was a four mug a day gal before. It's not the caffeine I miss it's the taste.

But I would gladly give up tea forever if someone could promise me now that this will go the whole 40 weeks...

OP posts:
TheHappinessTrap · 21/04/2015 18:29

I agree with you HS that the longer cycles are the worst. You get ALLLLL those extra days to "what if". And (tmi alert) I'm going to the loo to wipe all the time and am worried I'll give myself an infection! I'd have to get my diaries out to check but it's been so long since I've had a long cycle unassisted by vitamins. I went for a long walk today to (please don't laugh!) try to shake AF down! Argh! Can't be long now, as you say!

Jessie, 5 weeks tomorrow! It sounds like you're keeping a cool head. Are you also able to celebrate at all? And you NEED decaf tea. Herbal is simply not going to cut it. Do you local shops not stock it? Well done on the healthy eating.

HS26 · 21/04/2015 21:35

Oh, Jessie, I know I would be feeling exactly the same as you! It would be so great if we could all just slip into a deep sleep and wake up pregnant and just before the birth so we didn't have to go through all this torture!

Try to relax and enjoy, though, and not stress. It's such a great achievement to have got where you are so relatively quickly! (I know it didn't feel quick, but still...)

Couldn't family at home send you some decaf tea? If they can't, I'm happy to! You can drink that all day long, I think!

All the best for the docs tomorrow! So exciting!

HS26 · 21/04/2015 21:40

Oh, and Happiness, I just about avoid going to the loo when af is due because I want to hold onto my hope for as long as possible! I know, so extreme and ridiculous!

So I don't think your 'shaking down' walk is weird at all ... lo!

TheHappinessTrap · 22/04/2015 08:13

Spotting finally. I feel dull.