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Conception

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Any 40+ ladies out there TTC #1?

999 replies

JessieMcJessie · 25/11/2014 13:00

Have looked at the buses and things but I feel a bit geriatric on them, with all the ages there for all to see, and the "old birds" type threads are lovely and supportive but a lot of the posters are dealing with issues like how to juggle older kids and a later pregnancy, or comparing ttc experiences now with the first time round.

Just wondered if anyone else was like me, basically didn't meet the right person till pretty late in life and now playing catchup and feeling slightly terrified of having left it all too late. I'm 41 (and 3 months) and DH and I got married in June and are now starting TTC. Most of my contemporaries had 2 or 3 kids before they were 40. I'm not afraid of the tiredness/no energy older Mum thing, or even really how old I'd look or feel at the school gates- I have actually been told many times I look younger than I am. No fertility probs that I know of and cycles seem regular and 28 days, but I have this awful dread that if the average time to conceive when young and healthy is 6 months, I just don't have enough time left. Silly to worry I know since we've only just started our 2nd cycle TTC, but would love to hear from anyone else in a similar position.

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TheHappinessTrap · 15/04/2015 17:42

Oh, sorry for such a long post Blush!

HS26 · 16/04/2015 08:09

Hi, Happiness, really nice to hear from you! I'm working right now but just a quickie ...

Just wanted to comment on your question about feeling glum about all this and how you pull yourself back on track. I don't have any definitive answers at all. For about a week after af (sometimes longer) I wake up with a horrible sad and nervous feeling in my stomach. It goes after I get up and on with my day, but it's definitely related to the stress of this ttc business. I really am trying to take a philosophical approach though, reminding myself that the stats may be dire short term, but long term not so much.

Might sound cheesy, but I also try to remind myself of the really good things I have in my life ... and remember to enjoy them. We can't stop living while waiting, and a positive attitude is always going to do more good than a negative one.

Teehee ... preachy bit over! (I don't always manage to follow this advice myself by the way!) I'm interested in the acupuncture you're doing. Do you feel like it's helping? I think I would consider reflexology. Heard good things about it! :-)

TheHappinessTrap · 16/04/2015 17:57

H's, in on the bus so apologies for typos! Just had my 2nd appt so hard to say of its helping but while in there I feel taken care of. Its a cheap clinic but I feel everyone is v kind. Its a earthy place. Last time I was left to lie there work the music and that was nice. Today the guy had a little chat . I would tastiest the quiet but it was good to very to know him a bit. Thing that strikes me though it's that I really want to cry. Maybe it's a stress reaction. Have you done it?

HS26 · 16/04/2015 22:04

I haven't tried it, but I'm really tempted by doing something like that. I think reflexology tempts me the most. There's a special fertility focused one in my town!

I can imagine wanting to cry, too! I think it probably is a stress reaction thing. Like when someone asks you if you're OK after you've been upset. You were OK, but as soon as they ask you you want to burst into tears again!

JessieMcJessie · 17/04/2015 07:57

OK, I had better take back my moaning from a couple of days ago - I have a bloody BFP!

Was really just waiting for AF so as I could plan the IUI scan but thought I'd just test, so got a cheapy one and went to the loos in the local shopping centre before I went to lunch. Peed on the stick, no line, went and stuffed my face with a burger in a slightly despondent way and just as I was gathering my stuff to leave thought I'd be a bit masochistic and look again at the blank test....only to see a line! Went straight to buy a Clearblue and sure enough - "Pregnant 1-2 weeks".

I've warned DH that we have a long road ahead of us and that the chances of a miscarriage are astronomical but this is a hell of a lot further than we have got before and, as the saying goes, today I am pregnant. At age 41 and three quarters. If I can do it....

Wow. Not sure quite what to do with myself now.

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HS26 · 17/04/2015 08:14

Oh my gosh .... AMAZING NEWS, JESSIE! Congrats, well done ... don't know what else to say! How perfect just as you were considering the IUI. Your doc will be very disappointed ... teehee!

Except ... don't leave us! Do stay around here to cheer us on and give us some 'tips'! I'm just coming up to another peak time so maybe some of your luck will rub off on me!!!

Seriously, CONGRATULATIONS ... and how fitting that it's the starter of the thread who got one of the first BFPs!

JessieMcJessie · 17/04/2015 08:49

Thanks Grin. I am not going anywhere - I don't think I'll really consider myself pg until after the 12 week scan.

As for tips, I am sure it was just plain old luck, but I did not OPK this month and we followed doc's advice to DTD no more than every second day. DTD on days 11, 13, 15 and 17. Then of course I went on a 10 hour flight and got 4 days of fresh air in New Zealand and had a nice relaxed time catching up with my old friend and being a bit maternal with her kids. This was first month trying since we knew DH's sperm was OK, wonder if there was something weird and psychological in that?

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HS26 · 17/04/2015 09:04

Whatever you did, however you managed it, it's wonderfully, Jessie, and really encouraging for the rest of us that it isn't necessarily 'that' hard.

I suspect DH and I have been getting the timing a bit 'off' a few times lately. I think the every two days thing is very good advice. We'd been doing that, but then went a bit crazy last month and burnt ourselves out a bit too early ;-)

Anyway, it's all about you today! I know it's early days, but you just enjoy it and take each day as it comes!! :-)

JessieMcJessie · 17/04/2015 09:14

Aw thanks HS here's hoping it's contagious. How many months ttc are you now?

There's a girl on the IUI thread who has been trying for over 10 months, just got her BFP in the same circs as me, waiting for AF to arrive so she could book the first appointment. So hope all round.

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HS26 · 17/04/2015 09:27

Been trying 9 months now. Each extra month becomes a bit more excruciating! I feel so impatient ...

I'm greatly encouraged by your story and the other positive stories and still feel very hopeful that it will happen for me too in time. It's the 'no guarantees' part that tortures me ... but then I guess it's the same for so many things in life. It's just that this 'thing' happens to be the most important to me for me right now!

Just keep taking deep breaths and rallying myself to keep going without too much depression and stress ... as obviously that doesn't help!

Definitely encouraged today though by your amazing news ... it's wonderful. I have a feeling this thread is going to become a really encouraging one in time!

charliegirl74 · 17/04/2015 09:32

Woooo hooo!! Amazing news Jessie! Soo pleased for you. :) xx

Cityzen74 · 17/04/2015 14:10

Hi. I'm 40 and TTC #1. Hope you don't mind me joining you. We've been trying for about a year now. At first I just assumed it would happen really quickly but after a few months I realised that this wasn't the case. I use the clear blue sticks and even when we dtd at the right time nothing has happened!

Charliegirl74 - a very similar thing has happened to me this month - I had a light funny bleed on 11th april but af not due until 20th. Have some normal pms symptoms like sore boobs so am expecting af to arrive but a little part of me is hoping it's an implantation bleed while most of me is thinking that it is probably just one of those things as HS26 says!!

Good luck everyone in their ttc journey.

charliegirl74 · 17/04/2015 15:56

Hi Cityzen,

Ooh, keep me posted on how you're getting on. I am trying sooo hard not to get my hopes up about it... and obsessing!

I had a similar experience last month too, although much heavier with some clotting - this time it has been lighter.

No normal PMS symptoms as yet - which is good in the sense that I'm not a grumpy cow at least! True test is drive home tonight - if I end up screming in my head then AF def due!!

Only a couple more days for you... Fingers (and toes!) crossed!

TheHappinessTrap · 17/04/2015 22:20

Ooh JMcJ! !! This is now indeed a lucky thread. CongratulatIons! How are you feeling? How odd it must have been to be at work asks contain all those complex emotions when you looked back at that stick the 2nd time!

TheHappinessTrap · 18/04/2015 07:51

Jessie, may I ask symptoms you've had so far?

toastedcheesesandwich · 18/04/2015 08:31

OMG Jessie Huge Congratulations!! Amazing news! How are you feeling so far?

JessieMcJessie · 18/04/2015 10:35

Hi Happiness and Toasted and thanks Grin.

Absolutely zero symptoms, felt exactly the same as I usually do coming up to AF so a few mild cramps, very very slightly tender boobs (but hardly at at really) and general sort of PMT "angry" mood the day before the BFP- nothing I had not felt a million times before.

Don't feel sick yet, have had a headache today but could well be from the sun, no weird tastes, no heightened sense of smell. Not yet excessively tired either.

Tested again this morning, line was a bit darker but nowhere near as dark as the control- Having no symptoms I am still a bit worried I will lose it early but I guess all I can do is wait and rest and eat sensibly. My biggest problem is coming to terms with no booze for the next year or so....was out for drinks after work last night (long pre-planned) and couldn't think what on earth to have- I hate sugary fizzy drinks and diet coke has aspartame and caffeine, so tried a non alcoholic beer; was only just drinkable....looks like it will be fizzy water from now on. my health is going to improve massively!

Have to confess that I actually had a little glass of white wine to celebrate with DH, we had a good New Zealand white in the fridge and we decided that a lot of women don't know they are pg til a bit later than this and keep drinking till their period is at least a week late, with no harm to the baby, so we had a little "final glass of wine" moment.

Can't quite believe it's true.... This was our 7th month of trying which is not too long objectively but has felt like forever, plus but at our age you also have to factor in having gone through all our thirties thinking that pregnancy was never going to be part of our lives, makes it seem all the more surreal when it happens. Hope it happens for you all soon, anyone in 2ww right now?

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JessieMcJessie · 18/04/2015 10:37

oh and by the way I would just like to point out that in my "when I first saw the line" story above I was not in MacDonalds but a posh gourmet burger place...Though I usually have much healthier lunches so perhaps a craving for a burger was my first symptom!

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toastedcheesesandwich · 18/04/2015 11:04

Haha, looks like carbs and protein were your first craving! Good quality ones of course...

TheHappinessTrap · 18/04/2015 12:16

Your MacDonalds comment made me laugh!

You know, I don't know if I should say it but when I met with an NHS consultant after my last time in he said he always advises women over 40 to start taking 75 mg aspirin daily. He then sometimes puts women up to 150. I get anxious mentioning it because obviously you would need/want to speak to someone yourself but I would hate not to have mentioned it.

crispiecrunchie · 18/04/2015 12:21

Oh my..... Congratulations!! I've been lurking since getting my bfp (I'm now at 16 weeks).

I was told 75mg a day of asprin from 12 weeks until delivery. I'm sure your gp can keep you right in best advice for your circumstances!

I'm delightedxx

TheHappinessTrap · 18/04/2015 12:29

ooh, I hate this, maybe there's a reason we're told separate things. Mine said to start form the moment I got the bfp. Wish I hadn't said as it just adds angst, ignore me!

JessieMcJessie · 18/04/2015 12:37

Whoa, whoa, Crispie, did you tell us you had your BFP 16 weeks ago and I missed it, or is this your announcement?! Congratulations, how are you feeling? Amseeing my GP next week, will ask her specifically about aspirin, thanks.

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crispiecrunchie · 18/04/2015 13:15

I think I did but ages ago!! I've been quiet but lurking to see how you all are doing xxx. Agree different advice on vitamins aspirin etc is very confusing

JessieMcJessie · 18/04/2015 14:37

Sorry Crispie? looked back on the thtead and now of course I now remember your announcement, is it too early to blame baby brain Blush?Great to hear from you again and with what sounds like a healthy pregnancy.

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