Any 40+ ladies out there TTC #1?

[JessieMcJessie]

Have looked at the buses and things but I feel a bit geriatric on them, with all the ages there for all to see, and the "old birds" type threads are lovely and supportive but a lot of the posters are dealing with issues like how to juggle older kids and a later pregnancy, or comparing ttc experiences now with the first time round.

Just wondered if anyone else was like me, basically didn't meet the right person till pretty late in life and now playing catchup and feeling slightly terrified of having left it all too late. I'm 41 (and 3 months) and DH and I got married in June and are now starting TTC. Most of my contemporaries had 2 or 3 kids before they were 40. I'm not afraid of the tiredness/no energy older Mum thing, or even really how old I'd look or feel at the school gates- I have actually been told many times I look younger than I am. No fertility probs that I know of and cycles seem regular and 28 days, but I have this awful dread that if the average time to conceive when young and healthy is 6 months, I just don't have enough time left. Silly to worry I know since we've only just started our 2nd cycle TTC, but would love to hear from anyone else in a similar position.

Ladies, I am proud to have been the starter of a thread over on the pregnancy boards wich has been picked out by MNHQ as a "Discussion of the Day" .

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2332508-Did-it-take-you-6-months-or-more-to-conceive

I deliberately didn't tell anyone my age as I wanted to hear what was normal for younger women too. On the basis I could then reassure myself that I really wasn't below average for any age just yet.

There are some very encouraging responses on there. At least I think they are encouraging. They may not be encouraging if, like us, you are looking at a long average time balanced against ageing ovaries. But I've decided to be encouraged.

I'm presuming no BFP for me this time; as soon as AF arrives I will make an appointment with the specialist.

Annie laughing at the portable sperm freezer! Dragon's Den here we come. I have heard of couriers delivering internet sperm to people's doors but I think that they do it with a cool bag in a vey short timescale.

toasted also laughing at your dual stick fail! Maybe better to pee in a cup and then dip? I used an old plastic jug that came with an iron, have made sure it's not anywhere that might risk it being used again for ironing!

Thanks so much for starting that new thread, Jessie! That's the sort of thread I've searched for and devoured a few times!

What struck me, just reading through the first couple of pages, is how based on chance it all seems to be sometimes. Some people seem to have taken aaages the first time, and then it happened 'bam' in a couple of months another time.

Just so you feel better about 6 months, we're on 8 cycles. Never thought it would take that long, deep down, as rest of family (2 sisters and mum) all had absolutely NO problems multiple times.

Thanks again - will watch that thread with interest!!

HS I have heard a lot of stories about people who took ages with number 1 and then number 2 was almost immediate. In real life as well as on forums. I'm thinking there must be something physiological in that, i.e. the body thinks it has done it once and can do it again...,,

That said, the boards here also testify that a great deal of people struggle with secondary infertility, so maybe it is just coincidence.

I'm getting carried away now thinking that I might even have time for 2 kids...must get real!

Ha! Yes ... a while back I was feeling all annoyed that DH will only let us have one, now that never really crosses my mind! Just one is all i ask ... ;-)

Thats a great thread Jessie, suprising how random it is, especially the ones who try for ages with a first then fall pregnant quickly with a second. I've done a bit of googling and found out a very light bleed instead of a normal period is indicative of an anovulatory cycle! I wasn't using opk's in January so don't know for sure but pretty sure this is whats happening to me (Jan & Feb). Had this in Nov too after the mc. Think it might be stress. Though weirdly DH and I agreed we wouldn't ttc in Jan/Feb due to other things that were going, maybe my body listened haha and followed through. Will keep monitoring the situation and the reason for stress will be gone soon so hopefully that will help!

Hi Toasted. I am no doctor but isn't Clomid just the thing for helping with ovulation? Can't remember if you've been for tests and had that suggested already. But how funny to think that your body may have decided to do what it was told and hibernate! Did you manage the dual stick trick in the end?

AF has turned up for me today. Disappointing that it is definitively game over for another month but pleased for 2 reasons:

• I've had a classic 28 day cycle
• the day I go to NZ will be CD17 so am on schedule to be able to DTD every day of my next fertile window before parting company with DH.

Well done on discussion of the day jessie! I need to read the whole thread with a glass of wine one night when I have time to sit down!

toasted I only discovered my cycles were anovulatory the second time I went for GP hormone tests. It's something that happens with age.

I was prescribed clomid last year and got pregnant on the 3rd cycle (mc).

Unfortunately the OPK sticks can only indicate LH levels so they can't tell you that you've ovulated only that your body is gearing up for ovulation by excreting LH.

The only way to test if you have actually ovulated is by temping to see if your progesterone levels go up after ovulation. The book "taking charge of your fertility" is the bible on charting your fertility levels.

Sorry if you already know all this!

Im over temping, just shagging a lot.

Apparently, we all have an anovulatory cycle or two every year, toasted. Hope that's all it is for you. Plus still could have just been an 'off' month. Sorry from me too if you already knew that about the anovulatories! ;-)

I went to the docs today for my results and some swab tests for infections etc. (hmm .. now that was pleasant!)

Small fibroid shouldn't be a problem, apparently. Also my first hormone test (beginning of month) was OK. I asked if that meant ok for my age but the doc just said it's either 'ok for pregnancy' or 'not ok for pregnancy' i.e. menopausal. And so apparently I'm not menopausal. I suppose that's a good start!

Next stage is DH's sperm test ... lucky him. Then I'll get a referral to the fertility clinic coming through soon.

Feels good to be 'doing' something and getting all the basic tests.

Feeling a bit up and down about it all though at the moment. I feel like I've had a bit of a reality check lately about the time it takes to get pregnant after 40. Seems like at least a year is 'average', piecing all the bits of info I'm getting together. Been reading other statistics today too - not sure whether to feel encouraged or discouraged!

Oh well ... we keep on. It's all we can do, really!

Hope you're all OK. Have a good weekend :-)

I'm a little late in arriving to this thread, as I found this site by googling "perimenopause and pregnancy." I will turn 48 next month, so I must be the grandma here.

I have not attempted to conceive yet... but am registered with a cryobank (U.S.) to shop for a donor. It's kind of like online dating, except all the men are young enough to be my son.

At my age AND single, I'm a little scared about even trying, but 1.5-2 years ago, my "girl doctor" told me that she didn't think I'd have a problem carrying to term if I were to be able to get pregnant, and the fertility specialist I saw said that I have a beautiful uterus, and didn't see any issues with the scan that he took. What encouragement! My gyn ("girl doctor") also said something else earlier this year, which made one of my friends laugh when I told her, but it might be tmi if I repeat it.

Hi halos, are you hoping to use your own eggs and a sperm donor? I It's great that your uterus is in fab condition.

I found www.fertilityfriends.co.uk to be an excellent resource of experiences from women who are actually going through IVF, and there are forums for sperm donation too.

I am 41, nearly 42. Im trying naturally for another 6 months in the hope that one good egg will pop out one day soon. It would be a miracle!

hi there...

i'm 46 and think i may be pregnant with my 1st...got another week to go before AF is due so won't test until after that...

Hi moonstone fx for you! Have you been trying long? I keep hearing so many positive stories about people getting pregnant at 42, 43 + which is wonderful but I am convinced that it's too late for me.

Ooh, moonstone! Fx for you, and for us as that would be so encouraging to hear about!

And hello Halos, can I be nosy and ask how you got linked up to a us cryobank. .. and what that means? V curious here!

I'm "some number" dpo. Stupidly didn't write down when opks went positive. My boobs went sore yesterday. If I hadn't been taking the vitamins I'd expect af in a couple of days. With my renewed interest in ttc I will use pg tests so I need to think about when to do that, but in all honesty I had a minor twinge today v like what I would expect for the few days leading up to af.

Any news Ali?

Great timing with your cycle ams holiday plans Jessie!

Hi, moonstone and halos.

Great to have yet 2 more unique situations added to the mix!

moonstone, if you don't mind me asking, how do you know you're pregnant before testing? Do you have some distinct symptoms? Very exciting and encouraging. How long have you been trying? Do keep us updated! :-)

AnnieHoo and TheHappinessTrap thank you...

my OH and i only started TTC last month, so if i am actually pregnant then it'll all be moving a lot faster than we thought it would...

HS26 i have never had PMS in my entire life, so know none of my symptoms are related to that, but i am having bouts of nausea and dizziness, my boobs are definitely getting bigger, i have a tightness in my lower tummy as if i have just done some sit ups etc and i've developed travel sickness...i'm trying not to get my hopes up or read too much into them, but it's difficult not too...!!

Sounds VERY promising, Moonstone. Lots of fingers crossed for you ... can't wait for you to test! :-)

HS26 thank you...

we refuse to keep any tests in the house in case i'm tempted to test too early...the wait is driving me insane tho...

Moonstone, that's smart, I just tested and got a bfn. My af would normally arrive today or tonight and I would have started mild pink spotting by now, but I KNOW that taking the vitamins extends my cycle, I know to expect my AF to be a bit late. I wasn't disheartened by the bfn. I just haven't had such sore boobs in a very long time so thought maybe! I took a 75 mg aspirin last night just in case and will take another one tonight and daily until af arrives. I have a bottle of wine in the cupboard awaiting af's arrival!

I hate those few days when you're just waiting and wondering and hoping, Happinesstrap.

You sort of read the signs and deep down know it's a 'no' that month, but hold on to the tiniest bit of hope, too!!

It's not over for you yet this month, by the sounds of things, but yes, at least you have that wine on standby! ;-)

I'm almost about to ovulate ... maybe in the next couple of days ... can feel it.

We started BD-ing a few days ago this month, so I hope we don't wear ourselves out too early ;-)

Go for it HS26! Fx for you, each month has so much potential. I almost prefer the ovulation phase to any other time.

And I am guilty of having spent the last hour or so googling symptoms and how to improve chances. Not. Helpful.

fx'd for everyone about to test.

I'm 6dpo here so aaaages to go until test date. Distracting myself by looking at booking a holiday for me and DH. Could be our last big holiday if a baby actually did come along!

Anyone want to symptom spot with me? I'm exhausted, boobs are ridiculously sore and this morning I didn't lose any hair when I washed it in the shower. I noticed when i've been pg before that my body has held on to my hair, whereas normally I get a good handful after combing through the conditioner. I'm also, tmi alert, mildly constipated! I didn't have the wherewithal to test this morning. Mostly from being too tired but also I still put all this down to the vitamins. I usually have a 24 day cycle and the vits are known to extend it. Today is day 26. l am eyeing up that bottle of wine as I think I might need it after getting back into symptom spotting and hopefulness!

Going anywhere special Anniehoo?

Good symptoms there Happyness. I'm the same with the hair. My hair is so much thicker now since going through IVF the hormones really help skin and hair.

Sorry to hear your constipated. Get the prune juice out! Personally I find a cup of tea and a banana gives it a good push through .

Oh and no nowhere special happiness just majorca in July or Tenerife in October. I'm addicted to looking at Thomas Cook website but just get depressed as i want 5 star luxury at 3 star prices!