Any 40+ ladies out there TTC #1?

[JessieMcJessie]

Have looked at the buses and things but I feel a bit geriatric on them, with all the ages there for all to see, and the "old birds" type threads are lovely and supportive but a lot of the posters are dealing with issues like how to juggle older kids and a later pregnancy, or comparing ttc experiences now with the first time round.

Just wondered if anyone else was like me, basically didn't meet the right person till pretty late in life and now playing catchup and feeling slightly terrified of having left it all too late. I'm 41 (and 3 months) and DH and I got married in June and are now starting TTC. Most of my contemporaries had 2 or 3 kids before they were 40. I'm not afraid of the tiredness/no energy older Mum thing, or even really how old I'd look or feel at the school gates- I have actually been told many times I look younger than I am. No fertility probs that I know of and cycles seem regular and 28 days, but I have this awful dread that if the average time to conceive when young and healthy is 6 months, I just don't have enough time left. Silly to worry I know since we've only just started our 2nd cycle TTC, but would love to hear from anyone else in a similar position.

Hmm oh just got AF two days early! I I know I wasn't really TTC this month (ie.no effort) but still unhappy about it. Also why early with no symptoms?!

Good luck today Jessie. Hope it goes as well as can be expected. I didn't picture you as Scottish btw, I pictured you as a Londoner

How is everyone else doing, any symptoms?

Awww, sorry af got you early, toasted. It isn't lighter than usual, is it?

A few days into the 2ww here, so I guess that means I've got a few blissful days of not having to worry about symptoms etc. yet!

I wish I could just forget all about it and be one of those women who gets 2 weeks past af due date and then realise they're preggers!

Nothing to report here... On CD12 didn't realise I was that far on as period just went away yesterday.

I've lost all enthusiasm for making babies, I can't be bothered!

Sorry AF got you toasted.

Hmm HS26 I'm not sure what's happening. AF was normal for first day then disappeared. Three days of it missing in action. Did a test this am just in case, but BFN. If AF doesn't come back I'll test again but it's a loooong shot.
Anniehoo'I know what you mean, it's difficult to keep up the enthusiasm indefinitely.

Oo toasted that's an interesting one.. Test in a few days and hope AF stays away . You never know...

Hello all. Well, I resigned from my job at 8.30 am on Monday, thought I had better get it over with first thing. My partners took it quite well, considering, but I now need to worl on negotiating my 6 month notice period down to a length which meams that DH doesn't have to leave me in HK for 4 months by myself because that is mot going to help much with the ttc!

Still business as usual for now, yesterday I had to give a presentation to 400 people including v senior people at big clients and rival law firms. Was prepared but v nervous,then just before I started the OT system failed and for 5 excruciating minutes it looked like I might have to talk without slides. Came right in the end,thank God, and quite a few people told me afterwards that they enjoyed it. So was on a nice high when I got home for a bit od dtd- had got a positive OPK that morning so it was a big day all round, Would be quite cool to have done a big professional thing like that and conceived a baby on tje same day!

Suppose we had better dtd again tonight, am a bit knackered but probably safest, if DH can face it.

That all sounds a bit odd toasted implantation bleeding maybe?

Pls ignore typos! Fat fingers on phone...

Oh god jessie that sounds stressful. Well done juggling your presentation/handing in resignation/pinpointing ovulation all that the same time!

Hope it all works out for you with your notice period.

I did an opk last night but it was negative still too soon I think as not feeling it "down there".

It's amazing how I've gone from being a complete ttc obsessive to not really bothered in a fortnight.

I'm beginning to realise the benefits of being child-free. I don't think I would let my brain go there before.

I still want to get up the duff though.

Please grow little follicles grow and let a lovely healthy egg or two emerge right on time (and same for everyone else!)

Jessie, that would be pretty Superwoman-like to handle all three on the same day
Not sure what's gong on with me, period was early, very light and only lasted one day. I tested this am just in case but bfn. If by some tiny chance this is a fertilised egg then I've calculated may only be 11dpo today so may need until 14dpo to raise hormones high enough to show up.

Not getting my hopes up as you can tell! Happy weekend everyone

Fx for you toasted . It may be too soon. Hang in there.

Sounds 'interesting', toasted!

Keep us updated!

Hello! I'm 42 and 8 months. I'm ttc #1 after 3 mcs. Same story as a lot of you judging by reading through the thread. I was with the wrong partner then took a while to find the right one and bed in. Got pregnant straight away nearly all three times, then nothing since, but I think I'm ready to focus for this final push, as I see it. I've returned to taking loads of vitamins and my life style is very relaxed. This seems like a supportive and not too depressing or upsetting place to hang out if I may join you all?

What, if anything, do you all do to try to help your chances? I mentioned the vitamins. I also have weeks at a time when I don't have alcohol, and have one or two cups of caffeine a day with some caf-free days each week. My diet is usually fine (ok, I'm a stone over weight but I eat good quality food!) - except for this month where I seem to be freaking out over store bought cakes and cheap choc! And that, after just buying a size smaller pair of jeans, argh!!

Hi TheHappinessTrap and welcome! There aren't many of us here and I'm quite new too.

Your story sounds very similar to mine. It's so good to have this group as we all understand the particular pressures of ttc #1 over 40.

I also feel like I'm entering the "final push".

At the moment I'm thinking we'll give it until August. I am desperately clinging on to 41 right now.

I don't really do anything different to what you've said (including the occasional choc and crap!). I take Pregnacare Conception and Omega 3&6, 600mg of CoQ10 and drink 2L of water a day.

My worst thing is I've put on 3 stone since starting ttc in 2012. It's all hormone related, 2 mc's and 2 failed IVF transfers all in 2.5 years. It has been emotionally crippling and it made me go into myself and hibernate.

I'm through that now thankfully. No more drugs! I've gone through the "I'll never be a mother" pain and feel much stronger. Ready to start living life to the full again and that includes getting out there and getting fit

I hope it works out for us all, I am still full of hope. There are so many success stories.. I really think it's just a numbers game and our time will come xxx

Hello, thehappinesstrap (like your screen name, by the way!)

Welcome!

Really happy you'd like to join us here. I find it's just a great place to vent and share frustrations and hopes. Love him to bits, but there's a limit to how much analysing & fretting that my hubs will listen to, so I do indeed find this thread so supportive. Just good to know we all 'get it'.

As for what I'm doing to keep healthy, well ... I may be totally, totally wrong on this, but I think that the most balanced approach is to just stay generally healthy. By all means give up anything obviously silly like smoking or eating McD's for every meal, but other than that I think the best thing is just to not eat too much junk, keep relatively fit and take folic acid.

I was taking pre-conception vitamins, but to be honest I've even dropped those now. Not saying you all should too but I read a couple of articles saying that really, unless you have a particular deficiency, it's not necessary if you're eating a good varied diet.

Soooo ... not too technical around here! Although I have drastically cut down my caffeine intake (max 1 cup coffee or tea a day, rest of time de-caf) and don't drink too much either. Just a half a glass or so every now and again.

Saying all this, though ... this approach has not got me anywhere so far, so maybe I'm getting it all totally wrong! :-)

Hello the Happiness Trap and welcome.

I am 4 dpo today. We only really DTD twice within the window but I was far too tired to face it on the day after O, so will just have to hope that was sufficient- sunce DH's sperm test came back hunky dory I don't worry too much about them not being strong swimmers or being light in numbers.
Have quite sore boobs today, don't remeber that at this stage in previous months, but then I did do some exercise on saturday. (Dragon boat paddling) so may well just be general upper body muscle strain I am imagining to be in my breasts!

As ever, 2ww getting boring, especially as resignment excitement has died down at work a bit and am now in limbo waiting to find out when I can leave (they have asked someone in London to move to HK and we need to see what she decides, then they'll talk to some others if she is not keen).

I seem to have had quite a lot to drink over the last week. Had better rein that in a bit...

PS THT I am sure that after 3 miscarriages you could get some tests to work out why this is happening, have you looked into that? I thik that there is a dedicated ttc after MC thread too.

Thanks for the welcome! Anniehoo, I've also put on weight from ttc, I do sympathise with your post. And I think the vitamins are more psychological HS26 (trying to work out what your name might refer to!) but I need to feel like I'm doing something. The b vits lengthen my cycle though which is weird. I'm supposed to have ovulated by now and haven't and I blame them!

Hi JMcJ! I and my last pg were tested, nothing identifiable was found, which, if I remember rightly, is the case for nearly half and they presume chromosomal defect. I've been on those boards at times but it's not my main focus now. I only mentored it more by way of introduction. Young women who have had mcs have more opportunities than older women.

Sore boobs when you don't normally sounds promising? !

Ummm, just a little positivity for all you older ladies ttc. I had my second child aged 39 and, after 2 emergency sections and two further years of ttc with absolutely nothing, let go of hoping for No 3. We haven't used any contraception since my 2cnd was born, five years ago. My cycle has been erratic and my bleeding very light for the last two years. I'm not on a special diet, I don't take any supplements and I have a glass of wine most evenings. I will be 44 in August.
It came as something of a shock to be informed I was 12 weeks pregnant with my third child last week....
So; it does happen!

Thanks so much for passing by and telling us that VERY encouraging piece of news, vixbea! Congratulations!! Please pop back and le us know how it's all going ... :-)

THT, HS26 is the result of me being really unimaginative and not realising that most people think of something funky! ;-) Just can't be bothered to change it now ...

I'm 4 days from af and have already been having rumbles of cramps and nausea since Friday. Keep getting this happening to me lately (& this is earliest yet). Have got an ultrasound tomorrow to check on a fibroid so am going to ask about that too. Never had this before starting ttc. Grrrr ...
will let you know how it goes.

Am also going to TRY not to be so emotional when af comes this month. Have been really struggling over the last months but it's so awful to feel like that for a whole day (or even 2 or 3) each month that I'm trying to get myself to a place where I can be a bit more brave about it all. After all, I might have a really long road ahead of me yet!

How do you all cope with getting af each month? Are you braver than me? Got any tips?

Good luck for your tww too, JessMc. Tww is boring, isn't it? Not to mention stressful. You just want to find out what's going on and then move on ...

Still no sign of ovulation here on the opk, some appropriate cm but this is late for me, if this results in a longer cycle it will weird me out completely so I guess it's welcome back to ttc properly!

Anyone else have anything actually interesting going on? JMcJ, you had some sore boobs, where are you now in the 2ww?

Thanks and congrats Vixbea!

How are your fibroids HS26? I get really tearful towards the end anyway with the rise in hormones so here's wishing you much additional bravery.

Hi everyone and welcome Happiness! I love your name too.

Absolutely nada to report here. Weird non-period didn't reappear, several BFN tests later (pristinely white, not even a hint of anything) I realised that with all the messing around wondering, its actually time to try again in two days. I'll try an OPK tomorrow to see what the hell my hormones are up to.

I've almost finished reading the It starts with the Egg book. Its very enlightening and DH came home to find all the old plastic food containers in the recycling. Have realised my work is phthalate filled too so am a bit glum.

HS26 I always have a meltdown at my DH on AF eve, along the theme of 'AAAAgh I will never be a mother!'. Then recover by the next morning. Why do such disappointing results have to coincide with the worst day of PMT ie. lowest mood and physical pain?!

Hi toasted sorry that things are a bit odd for you, is this you back to full-on ttc now?

vixbea what a fabulous story and thank you so much for coming on here to encourage us. Best wishes for a happy and healthy pregnancy.

It's now a week since the day that I got a positive OPK and we last did the deed, so I guess I am 6-7 dpo. Boobs still feel a bit funny but I have read a lot and there's no way that could be a pregnancy symptom pre-implantation, so unless it's an ectopic ...shit I hope not...then will just be normal cycle hormone changes.

I told my MIL and SIL (ie DH's Mum and sister) by email yesterday that we are ttc. Unlike the majority of Mumsnetters I really like my in-laws, and since my own Mum has passed away and we'll soon be back in the same country as MIL, I just wanted to tell them for my own comfort. If we do conceive I'd have no problem telling them before the 12 weeks; I'd want their support if anything went wrong. I knew MIL would be wondering and I thought that she might think I was all career-focussed, which could not be further from the truth. She was of course delighted. SIL is younger than DH but has 2 daughters already and made some encouraging noises about how for most people it's quite a frustrating wait, which would suggest that in her circles many months ttc is pretty normal.

DH doesn't know I told them. I probably should have asked him first but they way I see it they are my family now too so my choice, and he knows I told my own brother and his wife and several friends. He won't mind, but he certainly won't want to be involved in any sort of detailed conversation.

Finding it hard to concentrate on work today. Is there a little zygote (that's the word, right?) in there about to start burrowing, or did we strike out at the sperm meets egg stage?

PS toasted I skim read the Starts with the Egg book and am meaning to go back and look at it in more detail and make some notes for the right plan for us. She seems very big on DHEA, is that something that is easily available in the UK do you know? I might give it a try when we get back.

That is weird, toasted ... why is that so often as soon as we start ttc things start going strange? That has totally happened to me, and always been so regular and predictable.

I've decided that the best thing, for me anyway, is not to analyse too much and just let things happen. Easier said than done, but I can try in principle!

Jessie, it took me aaages to tell my family. Only told my mum because I got af while out with her and got upset ... and only just told sis. Does actually feel so much better though to know that people know rather than suffering in silence sometimes.

I went for an ultrasound to check on a fibroid yesterday, as I told you already. It was internal ... so that was fun!! Seems like nothing has changed. Just a smallish fibroid and probably nothing to worry about as far as ttc is concerned (although got to go to docs next week to check for sure).

Got a day 4 hormone blood level test next Monday, too (hopefully my cycle is on time this month so I don't have to cancel!) ... so it's all happening! Definitely makes me feel better - like I'm taking back a bit of control just by beginning all the tests, although it's a bit depressing that I'm having to do them at all, but still ...

Anyway, I think I'm rambling a bit now. Hope everyone is feeling OK ... speak soon!