ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

[chasingtherainbow]

Roll up roll up... onto a new thread. Keep those lucky bfp' s coming and unmumsnetty hugs all round.

When I lost this one, I started pink a week before actual loss - got more and more frequent, getting darker and darker pink then started properly bleeding the day before the actual loss. No big cramps just lots of discomfort and twinging and intermittent cramps. I lost at 7 weeks.

Sending lots of love in case today is tough. Do expect to need to rest - I had weekend at home after, then worked but maybe shouldn't as had to go home Friday lunchtime and now utterly wiped out. Big hugs, x

This isn't really bleeding, it's more pink spotting. Argh. It's so hard to know how to proceed.

I know things are a bit different for me, but baby I lost at 8 wks, I became fluey and wiped pink before bed, and woke up having soaked through with blood the following morning. I bled for 5 days.

This time it's a suspected eptopic and as you all know I'm on methotrexate, but I literally bleed slightly like the start of a period one day .. then nothing. Yesterday it happened again, today nothing. I just wish it would hurry up. I'm so tired!

Sorry you are in this horrible limbo guy. I honestly don't know what to suggest. I think I'd book of it were me. You can always cancel. X

guy Everyone is different but with both mine I had pink spotting for 3 days, turned red spotting and red on wiping for 1 or 2 then actual mc of tissue occured after about 4 or 5 days. I really hope you're not in limbo too long.

Hi guy... in my case MC1 started with some bleeding and I mc'd the sac about 24h later. It was measuring about 2 weeks too small so had probs died about 2 weeks earlier. I'd see what happens today but seriously consider calling in sick tomorrow. The problem is that it's not much fun waiting around for it to happen (I made sure I read a couple of good books, it was literally the only thing that could distract me). In my case I was "lucky" that it happened quickly, I bled for another couple of days after I passed the sac but I was a mess and couldn't have gone to work at all that week.

Guy for me on my first mc it was bright red right from the start. On my 2nd it started off pink on the Friday - just spots and very slowly over the next couple of days got heavier until I had my ERPC.

Best thing to do is send DP out to buy some maternity pads (that's what I did) because should it get heavier then you will need them to stem the flow. You might also want to get some andrex wipes as the flow can be very heavy and it makes you feel a bit cleaner.

Alternate nurofen and paracetamol every 2 hours

If you are scared and in real pain, don't be scared to go to the hospital if you need to.

Finally, please don't go to work, you need rest and privacy to get through this. You can sign yourself off sick for a week and if you need more the docs will sign you off for longer.

Thinking of you - keep talking to us xx

Big hugs guy
Ok. So when I said I had a neg test Monday. It was practically neg, had I been hoping for a BFP I wouldn't have considered it due to having to strain to see the pale test line compared with control. My BFPs have been solid dark lines in the past. However having read a few of these threads 'any line counts' so I did another this morning with same very pale result (OH can't even see it). Do you think I could ask for bloods? Am at drs (again) tomorrow - getting all these cysts noted! We have DTD now and am worried I didn't get a proper neg.
All advice gratefully received!

Ok here's my plan:
If nothing starts properly today or I'm not sure:

• call boss and work from home tomorrow, Tues and Wed (rather than be off sick). Boss will be fine with whatever I do but I imagine I might take next week off if it doesn't happen this week. Was off last week between scans.
• book erpc for Thursday or Friday of possible (private). Can cancel if necessary.
• book dd into nursery for extra days Thursday or Friday (don't have any family locally who can take her).

If does start properly:

• take this week off sick and get a sick note from GP.
• once bleeding has stopped, book private scan to check everything has gone (hospital didn't offer this but my health insurance through work will pay for it).

Does that sound reasonable?
Sorry for being so boring. I hate things being out of control like this. I'm a working mum so my life has to be planned in advance with military precision or it falls apart! Wish this miscarriage could stick to a bloody schedule.

Congrats to brummie!

Sadly last week's bfp has led to another early mc for me - tested negative yesterday and bleeding started today. Unlike the first time when I coped surprisingly fine, this time it has hit me like a ton of bricks. Think it's because I really felt pregnant and had symptoms. Had a doctor's appointment scheduled for Tuesday anyway so I will ask him whether 2 early mcs in a row should be cause for concern.

Can I ask, when you ladies had your mcs, how much time off work did you have? Especially for early losses that didn't need medical intervention. I really don't feel up to going back to work tomorrow, but I had four days off last week with what I thought was a tummy bug (actually preg symptoms!) so I feel really guilty at taking more time off. Plus I would have to explain why to my boss.

Oh Lucy you poor thing. I am so sorry my sweet. X

So sorry Lucy, that's so tough. Huge hugs and . You should definitely take the time off and look after yourself.

Sorry, meant to say, I was still on mat leave for my early mc but I would definitely have taken time off as I felt awful for a few day.

So sorry Lucy. Big big hugs.

Enormous hugs Lucy. So sorry to hear of your loss. When I lost my first pregnancy at 4+5, I started bleeding (mainly pink) on the Sunday night, the bleeding was heavier by the morning, and I got a BFN on a Clearblue so knew that I'd miscarried. I went straight to work afterwards and continued working all week. In hindsight this was a big mistake, as although work served as a distraction, I was physically exhausted and really regretted not taking time off. Ultimately it only took me another 3 cycles to get my second BFP (which ended in an ectopic), but I definitely think the first cycle post mc was a write-off because I was so exhausted and hadn't given my body time to recover properly.

Your experience of finding your second loss more upsetting than the first, sounds familiar to me. After the first, I was relieved that we could get pregnant and that it had happened relatively quickly (on cycle 2). I think I convinced myself that we'd get pregnant again really quickly and that having been through such a shitty experirence the first time around, it would definitely work out the second time. It was devastating to find that this wasn't the case.

There's no advice I can offer but thinking of you Guy.

lucy so sorry, and and lots of TLC. Glad you've already got Dr appt planned, hope you get good support.
guy planning to work from home sounds wise, then you can stop if you need. Just try to listen to your body and heart (I'm really bad at ignoring my head but my body has now given me no choice!)

guy your plans sound fine. Being home is best IMO.

lucy with my first mc I didn't have any time off - I mc on a Saturday. This time I had a week off. MC happened Monday but had scan booked Wednesday. I'm glad I had the time off. I am still having some downs but work are quite understanding.

Guy your plan sounds very sensible to give you flexibility, as you might be waiting for a few days for something to actually happen. With mine, I had pink/red spotting on the Thurs which is what prompted me to get EPU scan and found out baby had died. I then had intermittent pink/red spotting and light bleeding until ERPC on the Tuesday, but still no sign of actual MC, despite occasional mild cramps. I was 13 weeks, baby died sometime in the previous two weeks. I read somewhere that the later the MC is, the longer it can take to start naturally and can just 'threaten' for a while. But you don't want to be caught out, so having maternity pads, wipes, painkillers, etc, on hand as already suggested is a v good idea. Thinking of you xx

Lucy sorry for your loss. I second others' advice to listen to your body and don't rush back. Your job is just a job but your physical and mental health is more important. You're going through a lot, even if the physical side of it has not been too traumatic so far, so look after yourself and don't feel guilty if you need time off. You're not under any obligation to tell your boss why, but in my experience being honest with a few key people at work really helped them to be a bit more understanding which made it slightly easier

and to everyone who needs it today

Lucy i'm so sorry the same has happened again, big hugs to you, maybe go see your GP, i know I would to get it "logged" which sounds horrible and clinical but unfortunately its the only way forward :(

I almost don't want to write this because I feel it will jinx it but I think we've all had so much bad luck that writing this won't make any difference but... I really feel like this month is my BFP month... I suffer from really bad eczema all over my back and legs and it never goes away apart from when I was pregnant and today I have none, my skin is completely clear with no creams or anything...really hoping this is a good sign!!! Driving myself crazy here :( someone needs to hit me or something I think.. meant to be doing coursework and instead im on google and here... and watching The Holiday whilst eating chocolate covered marzipan, i really need to get a life

guy I hope you're being well looked after my love. lucy you too. How's today been?

Dr called and hcg is just a smudge below 200 so it's over halfed over 7 days! So good progress. Unfortunately my liver is "out of normal" (wasn't at base line tests) which apparently isn't unheard of after methotrexate, but they're a bit worried and so will be hoping it's normal at my weekly bloods from now on.

Always something!

lucy I'm so sorry your BFP has turned into an early MC :-(

My first MC was at 5 weeks, a natural one and I had a week off. All I will say please go to the docs so it's logged. Sadly it's unlikely you'll get help after 2 - I asked and was told no, got to be 3.

So get it recorded!! I hope you never need that info, but as this is my 3rd BFP im straight down to the docs so get the pregnancy recorded so if the worst happens, I can get help

Guy how are you getting on?

Nothing really happening- spotting starting and stopping but nothing really. Going to book erpc for Thurs or Fri hopefully so there is an end in sight. Working from home this week if I can concentrate.
I'm mostly emotionally ok and have accepted that this would never have been my baby. Occasionally get hit by sudden shock and disbelief at what has happened. And what is still to happen. Just can't wait til it's all over.

I've had to drop out of some training because I couldn't juggle my hospital apps and also the training is baby related. . Gah. Feeling shitty

Oh god, cross post sorry guy
I am sorry, I know how that shock can hit. That one minute your fine, one minute you catch your throat and the air seems hard to breathe in while your mind try to placate your heart.

So sorry lucy

guy it's such a horrible time, the waiting. For what it's worth I had an erpc and although I was nervous I was very glad I did and it was quick / no discomfort afterwards. My body never got going in terms of miscarry ing naturally, I was 10 wks but had mmc'd with twins around 5/6 wks and I only had a little spotting. I couldn't stand more waiting, especially while looking after a toddler. Thinking of you x