The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

What a horrible nights sleep :(

Got midwife today. I'm terrified. Last time this is when it started to go wrong.

still only the tiniest bit of pink. was hoping she would make her full appearance over night, but judging on how slow everything has been this cycle i don't know why I expected that. I woke up with cramps this morning though am hoping that is a positive sign.

La I'll be thinking of you today and hoping everything goes well. X

Morning all!

In work at stupid o'clock this morning (7.30) and just know I won't finish at 5 so looks like a looooong day ahead of me.

I know its hard leela buy try not to worry. With be thinking of you xx

Aww ainat it's very frustrating isn't it? How long have you been off bc for? I've only been off since August and was stupid to think my cycle had got back to normal.. until af arrived a week early.

La we'll all be thinking of you today. Don't develop horrors about the appointments. There were other signs last time. last time. This time, you are pregnant. And will continue to be so. (Until next summer at least!)

Mentally holding your hand to help you through today la

la will be checking in thinking of you hun x

ainat don't despair, my first AF after 7 months of nothing coming off BC started with barely anything for two days, then it came back to a normal-ish flow. Gx for you that she's returning!!

mountain a coat hanger? Really!? That just sounds weird!!

Still feeling emosh today! My nan phoned me to tell me my grandad is having an op on Saturday to clear his urethra and I just burst out crying. I bloody hope it's hormones because I'm not the crying sort!!

Also got really annoyed at DP last night. He told me that I need to make a decision between baby or police job and that we should use protection in the interim before I make a decision because he thinks if I did get upduffed and decided I wanted the job i would resent it....

I've still not spoken to him! Fucker.

Morning all,

Good luck la pma - ing you 'll the way today!! You'll be fine

jelly sorry things aren't going well lovely. You're having a tough time which is bound to make you emotional. Also, don't forget, your body is going through changes at the moment
Having come off the pill you've got hormones coursing through your veins!
Hope your dgf is ok, and try chatting with dp again tonight x

ainat give it time, maybe think about some gentle exercise like a walk to see if you can encourage things along (or a shag?) X

good luck today la. thinking of you.

jelly there is only s 20% chance of pg in a given month. and as I've only just got AF back it may not happen straight away. if I were you I'd keep ttc but don't put other things on hold. you'll regret not ttc if you don't get in and if you do and then you take a while ttc you'll wish you hadn't stopped so its swings and round about really. let fate decide.

Coathanger? Nice. I do enjoy weird ED stories :)

Jelly sorry it's all getting a bit emotional - though how he could say you'd resent your baby...daft fool.

Good luck La, hope all goes well.

Just the two here, same for DH - both high school firsts and university seconds (and last!). He does a lot of cooking, but dear me how many implements does he have to use? And, why when we have a spoon rest, does he STILL put the messy spoons on the work surface?!

Ainat, hope this is the start of normality for you

Morning all. So FF now thinks I ov'd a day early which means I dtd on 1 dpo and 2dpo which ain't much use. But we dtd on cd11 12 and 13 and I ov'd on cd18. Maybe dp's swimmers are survivors?

So I'm now 5 dpo. My tits have calmed down a little bit but not much. It's much worse at night. Dp had a grope in bed last night and I had to tell him to stop. He ain't impressed. Was quite tired as well and I was struggling to keep my eyes open at 9PM but on a Monday that's not unusual.

How's everyone else doing?

Middles I've also got the tit trouble! The Left one was twice the size of the right last night! Now the right has caught up and they are both sore and swollen. This isn't unusual for me except that its slightly early.
Also, my Ovia app is convinced I ov'd on about CD12, which would be very early for me too. Maybe the Soy has shortened my whole cycle?
I have no clear idea when I ov'd, although i'm starting to think I definitely did. Hating the twot!! Is this your first twot?

Yes it is. I've never really suffered from tender tits before coming off bc. This is the most I've ever noticed it. They feel a bit fuller as well. Showering in the morning also hurts. I guess I could just be paying more attention to my body now I'm ttc. I've been trying to temp as well but I rarely sleep through the night so it's probably not accurate and I've been doing it at different times each morning. Who knows?

That was my argument Lil I don't want to put things on hold but I also don't want to stop TTC. If I am lucky enough to get pg before starting the new job then great, I won't regret it because it's what I want. But DP was adamant I had to make a decision!

Stoopid men! Don't they understand how tetchy a hormonal woman can be???

just don't tell him you're still going for the job jelly, then it will only be a problem if you get it. or tell him to carry the cooking baby lmao. he could be a house husband while u work. why should you have to choose between the 2, he doesn't have to choose between your future child and his career. obviously I come from the not happening straight away angle so that dies impact on my opinion. ultimately its you making the choice/sacrifices/putting your body on loan so its your choice. tell him to bog off and deliver the goods when required!

fooking not cooking lol

I'm with lil tell him to get lost! You are allowed a family and a career - and if you start putting off one for the other you'll end up finding that there is never a good time for either! Being a broad is hard - men have no idea!

Thanks all for your support. I really hope this turns in to af. If it wasn't for your stories I think I would be totally crazy by now.

Kez I've been off bc since August too, and other than what I'm guessing was a withdrawal bleed I've had nothing since until this really light one now.

jelly thank you. I'm hoping that I'll get something similar then, as it's still really light at the min.
as for your dp I think he's trying to see the logical side but doesn't sound like he is going about it in the best way. hugs. men can be stooopid.

tink I am on my feet all day at work, but only walking around a classroom. will that help do you think?

Don't know Ainat but being active always helps me to get rid of a really long visit x

I am hoping that she's going to stick around and give me a normal visit. seeing as she's not been around for a long while though I'm not sure what's going to happen.. but gx.

Heeeeelp!

Ladies...

I am pretty sure I have told you all previously the dilemma of my cycle last month (came on earlier than I thought I would).

Well, I came on last Tuesday.... lasted until Friday.

We dtd last night and this morning (well, right now) I've just been to the loo and when I wiped it was a really light pink / spotting.

Any ideas what this could be?! I have never bled after sex before.

So you are CD8 now Kez? Possible super early icing?

Well this is what I'm wondering.... as I came on early, I wonder if I am ov'ing early!

I am a total novice at this, but suppose its possible?

I, on the other hand, am crazy, and am convinced I have symptoms of being upduffed. I am nauseous again today, lots of strange twinges in the womble area, and have pant snot although I know I iced last week.

What is going on with our bodies?!

How long have you been off bc lemon?

I really don't know what is going on - if mine hasn't settled down by end of December I am going to the docs!

I've got little twinges again in my left side (as I got last month shortly before af arrived, just not as bad). Absolutely no idea.

Kez could it be a tear? I've had this before...

Thanks for the vote of confidence ladies. It's really got me frustrated today. Part of me wants to say fuck it to the job, seeing as it's a pay cut, more hours most likely, difficult job etc but part of me doesn't want to give up on something I think could be my dream job...