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The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

999 replies

mountaingirl01 · 16/11/2014 23:21

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
lildottie · 17/11/2014 21:06

and I mean that sincerely

Khbutterfly11 · 17/11/2014 21:07

loving that there's a poas addicted site!

7 partners here although I can't help thinking I've forgotton someone. no.... hang on.... no definitely 7

Ainat266 · 17/11/2014 21:08

La I'll make you feel better. I'm somewhere around the same region as you. I've had a few long term relationships with a few mistakes in the middle. Not really mistakes, was (mostly) fun at the time.-

wilmabedrock · 17/11/2014 21:11

Lala that aint bad. You want to meet some of my friends, they'll make you feel loads better Grin . Plus most guys I know would have had shedloads.

Ainat266 · 17/11/2014 21:11

Why though is it that I spent those years trying to not get pregnant, and now I want to it's damn near impossible!

Sorry, that's my frustration coming out there. Come back normal cycles!!!

Should I phone the doctor tomorrow to see if they've got my bloods back? They said 5 working days which really means I should wait til Weds...

DulcetMoans · 17/11/2014 21:13

Medic, medic! Cat shook her head and got dribble in my eye - do I have cat aids now?!

Khbutterfly11 · 17/11/2014 21:13

it's not that bad la if it helps 3 of mine were after DH, ok so not as bad as it sounds as we had a break - not a Ross and Rachel break either a proper sell the house and don't speak for 2 years break.
I right in the middle of my close friends I have 2 who married their 1st's and 2 that can't remember how many. anyway as with ttc, we are not here to judge and I would never anyway x

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 21:15

Ok I'm going to attempt to count...

1..loser bf I lost 'it' to, 2...first proper bf (3 years), 3...first one where I'm not sure if it went in or not, 4...second bf (1.5 years), 5...holiday romance, 6...friend who became sort-of bf (sort of fuck-buddies), 7...next proper bf (2 years, moved in together), 8...the 2nd one where I'm not sure if it went in, 9...one night stand (oops - pissed), 10...guy from internet dating, 11...another guy from internet dating (oh god, this sounds awful), 12 bf from internet dating, so funny but totally unsuitable, 13 bf I dumped the unsuitable one for, sensible but awful, didn't last long, 14 good friend who I started dating, 15 dh.. Phew.

See - told you it was 15!

Khbutterfly11 · 17/11/2014 21:16

la I had forgotton one!! holiday romance!! definitely 8 ffs lol

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 21:16

shit - I forgot another one night stand! 16!

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 21:17

But only (only!) 14 if it didn't actually go in both times!

ZylaB · 17/11/2014 21:18

la I approve of Internet dating cos that's how I met DH after having a site recommended to me by my brother cos he met his now wife on it!

Khbutterfly11 · 17/11/2014 21:18

I think you should go with 14 if it makes you feel better, if it didn't go in it doesn't count Grin

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 21:23

Oh hang on! I counted too many internet dating men! Phew!

1..loser bf I lost 'it' to, 2...first proper bf (3 years), 3...first one where I'm not sure if it went in or not, 4...second bf (1.5 years), 5...holiday romance, 6...friend who became sort-of bf (sort of fuck-buddies), 7...next proper bf (2 years, moved in together), 8...the 2nd one where I'm not sure if it went in, 9...one night stand (oops - pissed), 10...guy from internet dating, 11...bf from internet dating, so funny but totally unsuitable, 12 bf I dumped the unsuitable one for, sensible but awful, didn't last long, 13 good friend who I started dating, 14 dh.. Phew.

So...14 or 12 if it didn't go in. That's a bit better?

ZylaB · 17/11/2014 21:24

I asked DH if he 'sorts himself out' when he's away a couple of nights a week (he works a long way away so stops over twice cos it's too far to commute every single day). He didn't want to talk about it, bless!

ZylaB · 17/11/2014 21:25

Wrong thread!! Was meant to be in the grads one hehhe

KatoPotato · 17/11/2014 21:30

My works Internet settings are rubbish. Can't look up nude shoes or naked pallettes! I think cunt and porn just made it explode!

Ainat266 · 17/11/2014 21:31

Hehe. I'm not even going to try and count I don't think... I don't think I'd be able to. How awful is that??? There are a few short 'flings' in there, plus the odd one night stand. And... erm... do girls count??

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 17/11/2014 21:32

Haha Zyla I was thinking I must have missed something! In the same vein I discovered a loo roll in one of the drawers next to the computer at the weekend...turns out DH likes a crafty wank from time to time, and is 30-something enough to plan ahead and clean up! Wonders will never cease!! Grin

ZylaB · 17/11/2014 21:34

grin

Leela5 · 17/11/2014 21:35

I used to find suspicious puddles on bathroom floor when we went through our dry patch!

zyla that was well timed Smile

I had to look up something about camels at work and filter decided it was porn so I had to request to see it. Camel porn?

lildottie · 17/11/2014 21:35

definitely means yes zyla. I ordered dh ri knock one out while I went to the shop the other day. and he did. Wink

lildottie · 17/11/2014 21:35

to not ri. ugh

lildottie · 17/11/2014 21:36

where I used to work we couldn't look up certain tax sites because of alcohol duty being on there as alcohol was a banned word on the filter. it even blocked HMRC at one point

ZylaB · 17/11/2014 21:38

I'm sure he does lil I was tryi to tell him, in a clumsy manner, that I don't mind, averaging once every 8 weeks has to be a bit of a change after me demanding he come home some nights to DTD when we were ttc lol