The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Welcome bumble

Bloody hell viroids, bad day all round, no? Although I think you win ainat if it makes you feel any better I'd have cried too!

gaggia thank you! He's a piece isn't he? Idris is too for that matter. I like rugby players myself preferably the whole team

evening all. welcome bumble

jelly he does nothing for me either. the tatoo is really a turn off! I'll stick to my lovely dh thanks.

ain what an ordeal! glad it hasn't turned out to be too expensive though. hope you are feeling better now.

honey you are still young and if the lupus has been in remission for a while you probably have nothing to witty about so just enjoy all the shagging.

so I discovered this weekend that since I told dh he needed to make sure his fellas were cleared out regularly last weekend he's done it a couple if times when I've been out (can't think when as were always together!) so why is it he can manage 3 wanks in quick succession so easily but shagging me is a total fucking chore! grrr! men!

rant over!

Morning viroids!.
No pressure but we have had NO bfps on this thread. Come on ladies get shagging!

Morning viroids!.
No pressure but we have had NO bfps on this thread. Come on ladies get shagging!

Ah lil that's shyte :( men are total wankers (no pun intended)

gaggia I have a very specific type, normally the tall, dark and sophisticated type...none of which DP qualify for lol! (No just joking he is tall and very handsome, just very fair haired too!).

Yep we need BFP's on here! Who are the pissers due this week?

Where did lemon go? She was due to test...

Oh Idris Elba! That man is smokin' hot

No witch this morning but I've already flushed away my unicorn. Decided that if she hasn't turned up by tomorrow morning I'll test again then. (I'm on a couple of nights away with dp and only brought one test with me)

Who's Idris Elba?

lil maybe wanking doesn't satisfy him enough? Ready for tmi....... I find that I have to have multiple big O's with my buzzy friend to feel satisfied whereas just one is enough from DP. So maybe it's similar with guys......

Ooh, Idris Elba, now you're talking! JC how do you not know! On the app so can't put a beautiful picture up for you.

Haven't seen Lemon for a while - hope she's not too distressed by it all

Welcome Bumble! Enjoy JSing :)

Ainat - v lucky when you think about it: not on the M-way, only £30 to fix...could have been much worse. When are you pissing??

Yeah lil that would piss me off too. Try not to worry about it because for some reason men and wanking seem to go hand in hand (no pun intended)

interesting theory jcandy but I don't think that's it from things he says. I think perhaps he knows how important it is now because we only have one shot at the ivf. it is his sperm that's the issue so I've always wondered if there is some hormonal issue causing the low drive. they never did any more tests on him tho. fx witch stays away for you.

have we seriously had no bfps on this Fred? must be because we talk so much the bfps can't keep up.

I also have no idea who this idris person is. what an odd name.

indigo that made me laugh!

oh and I have a stinking cold and feel like death today

lil that happens over here too. Saturday mornings dh often has a lie in - and I know what he's up to! In his defence he's very good at ov week shagging but crap the rest of the month. The excuse this month was a rash on his bell-end so we had sex every day for a week, then nothing......

Morning All

here is Idris...

I was wondering where Lemon got to aswell. LEMON where are you?!

Welcome Bumble

Ain that sound pants! Hope you've recovered

Lil I understand that must make you feel a bit poo, but maybe it is just him trying to keep his swimmers fresh?

Though I iced Saturday, not sure now as temp was back down again today but boobs are a bit sensitive... DH is ecstatic we have to keep JSing.

Ah yes I do know who he is I'm just terrible with names think I'm more of a Channing fan Neither look anything like DP but I love him all the same

lemon where are you?

Is your temp all the way down noniks? Has anything changed as to why you would get rocky temps? My first month temping was all over the place when I took oral temps, it's much better now I've started temping vaginally. I'm a mouth breather, think that was the issue

yep Jcandy, all the way down. This is my 4th month temping & haven't had a 2nd day below coverline yet. But then every other cycle I iced on day 16 - this cycle looks like CD17 (based on CM & how boobs feel) but this is also WTF cycle after chemical last month. Also it was pretty cold last night...urgh, immensely dislike not knowing what's going on!!

Lil Drink some water!!

Jcandy - so you've noticed a difference temping vaginally? For the last four months my chart's been like the rocky mountains... thinking I may also be sleeping glamourously with my mouth open.

Just booked a blood test for Wednesday afternoon (doctor has put wheels in motion for tests). Never had a blood test before. Eek. Has anyone else?

Sounds like your wtf cycle is living up to its name noniks sorry it's not behaving. I guess all you can do is keep snagging for now.

Yes bumble it's so much better! ff could hardly pick up icing last month with all the rocky mountains but it was so clear this month

Bumble don't panic about the blood test, they are fine. Small needle, they take out normally between 2-6 vials (sometimes more depending on what they are testing you for). It's much easier than giving blood. Just make sure you eat beforehand so your blood sugar isn't too low!

In a really bad mood today, no idea why!! Damn AF!

Thanks jellypi reassuring to know!

Ooooh Candy i might try it too. I am Honey and i am a mouth breather. Do you literally just shove it up your fanny? Will have to wait for AF to go... Think of the mess!

Sorry you feel crappy Lil.

DH was exceptional last night. Such a lovely boy. Honestly i can say that AF is much less painful post mc. Still not worth it though.

Ooh, look, little numbers at the top of the post!

Ooh and Bumble drink loads! I always get told off for my dehydrated veins.

Noted honey - I'll be needing to pee like a racehorse on Wednesday then!