The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

ainat noooo, what a shit day. Is someone coming to rescue you??

Oh ainat is there anything any one of us can do to help?

Oh dear, lots of upset on here today.

aina can anyone help you with car? Hope you get moving again soon :(

honey it's not fair that some people get upduffed straight away and others have trouble, but unfortunately that's just the case and dwelling on it too much is a waste of energy and makes us very bitter (I know!). Lupus is tough when ttc. My friend has it and took 3 years for her first and 5 for her second. But she did get there in the end. You have youth on your side at least. Coping mechanisms - I guess I would give myself a few days when af came to wallow and feel sorry for myself, then pull myself back up and start plotting the next month. One benefit as time goes on, like lil said, is that you get to know your cycle and can hopefully find out where you're going wrong. With me I was stopping sex too early as I ovulate late. It took me about 9 months to find that out as I never bothered charting until about 6 months into ttc. The good thing is you're starting to chart so will build up your pattern. As for bring upset at others getting pg - that's something that will never go away, but if you let it eat you up again it's a waste of valuable energy. It's shite, but you will get there.

Gx for all you girls, chin up lovelies xx

How did I cope? Well I threw myself into work, MN, sewing and books. DD helped by sleeping like a newborn no, worse than that and making me think I was mad to want anything in addition to her. I jest. But mostly, wine, good food, good friends talking about Other Stuff and JUST SHAGGING [blue cheese] more

Sorry to hear you're down honey. I can't imagine the stress of TTC whilst also coping with an illness. Hard as it seems try to stay positive. As la says you have time on your side and you are preparing yourself well. Big hugs to you hun x

Well my AF is shaping up to be another bitch of one. So fucked off with my body right now. DP decided to tell me this morning how he had a dream about us and a baby and how it's all he wants. Now I feel like a right wally lol. Grrrr!!

Still, gonna make sure I temp and do it right next month. The thing that's stressing me out the most is the fact I have no idea if I am icing or not. Esp seeing as about the time
I should ovulate, AF shows up!!

Gaggia that was hilarious in the toilets lol. Never had that happen to me haha!

Hot bath time me thinks ;)

Yes wine played a large part!

Thank you for sharing ladies. Really good to read. I need to get more in to craft perhaps.

Ain are you ok?

Oh Lil i am 28 and a half.

Wow ladies there's a lot of upset-ness going on here today hugs to you all xx

Nothing to report from my end - not sure whether or not I'm dpo or not as I don't know for sure if I ovulated.

I can do pictures on my new phone now yay! So for added effect I took a picture of the cinema couple. I WISH I looked like angry woman from the back.
Here they are.

Shite! That photo turned out well.....not! Well ladies there's a picture of my finger and a fuzzy man.
Here's a naked Channing Tatum to make up for it.

I am okay... I've made it back home. The car just... stopped. My steering went, everything. We were sat with the hazards on for a bit, but then even they died, so was sat in a black car at night with no lights or anything. Some people restored my faith in humanity though. Several people offered to help move the car, but we had to decline as the wheel wouldn't turn. Thank goodness my mum was with me at the time - I had just picked her up to take her to my grandads house. I was only on the M4 10-15 minutes before it happened too, so I'm grateful I was at least on a normal road albeit a busy one.

Anyway, being the emotional mess I've been all day, I cried. My mum being more level headed called the non emergency police number to tell them my car was blocking one lane on a busy road and we had no lights (I stupidly didn't renew my AA cover - I stopped it when I didn't have a car for a year and never got it again when I got this car, so no help from breakdown companies). So the police came and helped me move the car into a little Sainsburys local car park (conveniently just across the road from where I had broken down) and waited with us while we sorted out the problem. I phoned my grandad, who got hold of my step brother (a qualified mechanic) who came to rescue us. It was the fan belt that had snapped. My SB tells me it's a 5 minute job, will only cost me about £20-30 and he'll have to do it in the morning when he can get another belt. So overall I'm safe, the car isn't going to cost a lot to fix, but I'll have to wait til tomorrow to get it back. My grandad came and got me and drove me home. I am so relieved it's nothing major, and am so grateful to have amazing family who are willing to help me when I need it.

And I have cried several times since realising how lucky I am.

Sorry, that was a longer post than I intended.

And gaggia that's a nice bit of eye candy to spice up the Fred a bit.

Name: bumble
Age: 29
ttc: April 14
DC: none (yet)

new to here but loving this thread and feeling less alone already

Ooooh Gaggia! You know how to cheer up a girl!

Welcome bumble!

Welcome honey

Oooh gaggia... very nice. But I can't help think he may be a little cold

Two honeys!

I meant welcome bumble ....

Yes that could get confusing! Hi bumble!

welcome bumble

sorry you have stumbled across the thread on a day where we I mean me really, hijacking it with my complaining are having a bad day, but it's fantastic normally. hopefully it'll be a lucky thread for you!

Hi bum :)

gaggia he's not my type lol.

ain that sounds horrible :( poor thing

Thanks! Just adjusting to the fact that my best friend has just announced that she is pregnant (by accident) and that ERTD (have I got that acronym right?!) arrived today. Joy. Obviously very happy for her etc etc.

Know how you feel bumble, my DB & SIL Announced the other day plus (and I'm not joking here) ALL of my friends are either upduffed or just had a baby. Literally, all of them. I'm happy, don't get me wrong, but a little part of me keep asking "why isn't it me?".

But I'm not dwelling on it. I'm enjoying the trying. I have only been trying since August - I may feel differently if I'm in the same situation in a year's time.

I know kezaroo - I'm thinking of staying away from Facebook for my own sanity for the same reason... hence why I've come here.

And as you say, may as well enjoy the trying in the meantime :)

Welcome bumble

jelly are you more of an Ian macshane woman? Idris Elba? Good Lord I could teach idris a thing or two.