The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Morning

Doesn't look like I iced yesterday, so it appears my cycle is a bit WTF. Dammit. However spotted EWCM this morning, so hopefully just a little out.

Lil I think I like the idea of a bit risqué but fear the reality wouldn't be as good! Drink some water now please.

Also on C&G SVR here!

Tink have you had a quote & details for boiler change? I work in the industry so can have a look if you'd like to see if price is ok?

Just off to hop on the good foot & do the bad thing...

Morning viroids!

I'm still jizzy from last nights cape action.
Cape is being donned tonight too.

I love a bit of smut! We used to get up to all sorts but now I'm boring and tired all the time. Booo!

Argh viroids, I have a hubby with very high expectations, what to do?!

His idea of how this baby making should go....

'ROLL UP ROLL UP, LIVE PORN FOUR NIGHTS A WEEK STARRING BATFISH!'

My idea is more like 1 of the above then 3 times wham bam thank you ma'am!

So he has been getting a LOT more sex than he would usually so I thought he was going to be the happiest man in the world. But last night when we went to bed late and very tired he said to me did I want to......and I said yes I suppose we should - because it was our every other day even though I really just wanted to sleep. Unfortunately how this ended was him going to sleep in a huff (sans shag) because it's just all so unromantic.

So what on earth do I do....there is no way I can keep up this every other day shagging if I'm supposed to be at it half the night. But if I imply that we should have a quickie because we need to be keeping up the momentum then that's not good enough.

My view is that if we are trying to make a baby then unfortunately no it isn't going to be hearts and fireworks every time but why can't he just be happy with the amount of sex he is getting! I can't win!

Any advice??

Tug on his balls

Always a good solution to any DH related pickle LA!

BREASTICLE has popped thank god, but to clarify there is no nipple shown in the previous pic! Are you about just now la? I can reveal the bollickle?

Oh I want to see the bollickle too!!

Thanks for the advice la hehe - knowing my hubby it will probably be fairly effective!

noniks mines not behaving as I want either. After ewcm on cd16 and a massive temp hike yesterday I thought I had it in the bag, only to have my temp drop this morning again didn't do an opk yesterday but all the ones I've done before have been negative. Feel a bit down about it tbh, why can't my body play ball? I mean no positive opk at all?

It's live! (And I'm sorry!)

I've just seen it kato - omg! Can I ask where abouts it actually was? It's hard to tell from the pic but it looks nether region related?

My life is complete.

la I did the ball tug this very morning.

kato I am indebted to you and your kindness. Thank you!

One very painful looking bollicle, was it as sore as it looks?

I have a dh who liked to drag it out bat. Tugging his balls or applying vibrator to balls does the trick every time. Boom! I get sperminated without the lengthy process

Indigo the name bollickle derives from the dangling from labia location. It was a general anesthiec and seven stitches painful! Please now look a photo of my face or pre pg figure and remember those when you next read a post from me I beg of you!

Awwww you poor love. I'm going to tell you something that might make you feel better.

I had to have my hymen surgically removed because it didn't break off and was dangling. Gross! I technically lost my virginity to two women doctors.

Just getting out laptop!!

Oh my good lord kato that looks absolutely horrific you poor thing! Very happy to have seen it though, I love a bit of grossness.

Right then la - tonight's plan is to pounce on hubby in romantic manner followed by sharp tug on balls (but not so sharp a tug as to induce bollickle style injury). Will report back!

Thanks noniks only quote is online one from British gas. It was £1200-1400 for boiler then £1750 for Labour and other parts. I know we could get this cheaper probably but it gives us a ball park. The frustration is that we've just spent a fortune basically rebuilding our house and were told that the 3year old boiler would be fine. It isn't. It just hasn't got the power to get all the radiators warm, let alone hot. We replaced the pump but it hasn't helped much. Best get saving I think.....

Bat, my dh used to be like that. Once you've been at it for a while they tend to relax a bit and enjoy quickies. not that I hope it takes you long, but even after a few months he'll probably calm down a bit. Also, tell him you love a quickie, tell him you really get off on it! How can he refuse giving you a good time?

HOW have I missed half this entire Fred??

Wow Kato just wow!

Hope everyone is having a good Saturday so far!

Bat it takes a lot for me to get my dp interested at times though he did accept this month that we just need to get on with it. He never initiates it though......... Like ever! So it's always me having to find the energy for the both of us lol. Hopefully yours will come round to the idea soon enough as long as it's not all just about getting his spermies

Well I'm feeling rough today. Got cramps, gas both up and down bit of nausea and a mini sore throat, that and generally tired. Good job my only plan for today was to sit on my sofa

Bat, I find with my other half that the more sex he gets, the more he wants, so instead of satisfying him, you end up just increasing his appetite so to speak. Can you try and surprise jump him somewhere other than the bedroom? Noone wants to spend an hour shagging on the kitchen table so may be more conducive to a quickie.

Lala sorry but that made me laugh. Not heard of a dangling hymen before.

Hi everyone. My grandad is having his op today. Bricking it slightly!! Also got evacuated from the town Center with my mate because of a bomb scare lol!

bat had similar last night. I was knackered but we were due to DTD so I said to DP can we have a lazy shag. Luckily he complied but it was a bit boring for us both lol. Still that's EOD so far :)

Anyone pissing??

dulcet love that you told your mate haha! Bladder of steel!

I often refer to you viroids as friends. I hope my real life friends don't expect to see a bunch of people at my wedding that I keep talking about lol!!

kato omfg it really is a bollicle! you poor love! thank you so much for resharing. my curiosity is now put to rest.

bat I had opposite problem as dh has no low sex drive. I found explaining the workings of my cycle helped him as he knew when we had to do it. I also explained how at icing time it was actually a bit painful for me due to the pressure on my swollen ovary, and that meant quickies at peak time were good. perhaps you can claim ovulation pain makes it less comfortable for a long jaunt and that's what you meant. ultimately I think talking about expectations and how you feel is important in this process. we've been known to drive out onto the moors late at night and have a quickie on the back seat a few times. the anticipation and excitement certainly helps make it a quickie!

la lol at the bloating! poor you!

noniks dine 400ml and that has just reminded me to grab another mug, thanks

oh and indigo was it with -be opks. just keep doing them. I promise it will suddenly appear. honest!