The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

honey 12dpo is still early. just wait for 15dpo. I am the angel amongst the devils

Shut up lil, don't ruin everything!

honey wait for me - we'll brave it next week? Us, middles I think, who else was supposed to come to our poas party? If I'm honest I might only be 8dpo anyway, not a clue

I will wait i think. For Tuesday and 15dpo. I can pee on an opk if people want a fix?

Ok, so I know for a fact that I need a slap and a hooyah and whatever you lot can throw at me from around the country and thru t'interweb.... But has anyone ever noticed their aerola is bigger at AF time? I'm sure I'm not imagining it, but the ive never paid any attention before...

Ok so I'm now almost too embarrassed to submit this, so going do it quick and hide behind the settee ready....

Are they Lil? Maybe I'll be convinced.

Do it honey !!

Am I missing something? What the hell is an ear seed?

Huddled in bed with 2 hot water bottles and the cat here. There appears to be a hurricane outside.

indigo sorry, but you know I'm right

wil they are smaller than smallest injection needle. you barely feel them go in and they don't go very deep. its a really relaxing experience.

Having mn-ers remorse now. Mightily embaressed please ignore previous post!

On another note acupuncture is beautiful!! Really doesn't hurt at all!

KH there are no regrets here! No one even batted an eyelid at Lil's revelation the other day (me too Lil, DH willing participant woot woot!) so i don't think your enlarged areolas are anything to blink at. Not that you don't have perfectly lovely areolas of course!

Insomnia a bit. Come on sleep. Come to me.

This honey that cheered me up!! Always nice to know my areoles are lovely! just checking curtains are fully closed lol

Insomnia sucks big style!! Sending the sandman your way!!

honey I forgot that, you're right no one even mentioned it! glad I'm not alone though, although jealous of your willing participant!

kh sorry I ignored your lovely areolas! I notice mine get bigger in week leading up to AF but tend to shrink again shortly after witches arrival. they were so big last week I was beginning to get hopeful! obvs just good amounts of prog inside me!

Are we on about the red room comment? I'd love to see inside one without the pressure of having to use anything in there if that makes sense? Christian grey scares me a little, but I think that's cos he's all or noting if that makes sense?

Jeez Lil, what confession did I miss? Sounds interesting.

Where did the 50 shades stuff come from kh?! Anyway, not to help fuel anything but I only noticed nipple changes when I get a BFP! But I know others have noted it at different times.

wil, you really don't feel most of them and those you do don't hurt, you're just aware it happened. Did any of yours get heated up lil? Wasn't a fan of that!

I was freezing yesterday too mountain but I had 1 hot water bottle and two cats instead!

Morning you lovely areolas!

lil hush now, stop spoiling my POAS crazy fun!

I am quite open about my 'forum girls'. In fact both dh and dm have praised you lot because they know how much support you've given me through ttc. Dh thinks I spend too much time on here but sod that, everyone in RL is too conventional and won't talk dirty like you lot.

So I went to dinner with friend lady night. Wore a stretchy skirt because I bloat after eating upduffed side effect too much food. Finished dinner and I had equivalent of a 5 month bump. My friend was like 'well you're not going to be able to hide THAT for much longer!'. Maybe I'm a bit stretchy? I am 34...

I'm in bed happily trumping away, dh snoring next to me completely oblivious. Stomach now flat again

Ha ha La, I was farting as I read your comment!

I did not read 50 Shades, so not sure what a red room is. But its great what you can buy online!

What's with the Saturday morning fartage, dh did a massive one as I kissed him good morning, dirty avatars!
Painting furniture shabby chic style today! Then visitors coming mid afternoon. Busy weekend to keep my mind off the twot (completely convinced I'm pg today)

My bump still gets massively bigger throughout the day La. Clearly the bloat never leaves if you eat as much shit as me.

I haven't read 50 shades either but know it's kind of about some S&M type things. Do you have a secret underground cellar Lil ?

haha no wil. it was when jelly asked about fantasies, I said I like being tied up and referenced 50 shades. however dh isn't into it so very rarely happens, only does when I moan he doesn't care about my desires, and then he's crap at it tbh! so no, no cellar!

tink fx you are right!

Yeah the pain from the needles doesn't put me off - I quite like things like that actually (makes me sound like I have an underground cellar) but it was just the random fear that someone would stick one somewhere they shouldn't and then I wouldn't be able to walk. FFS that sounds even worse, I'll stop now.

honey too true, the internet is an amazing place. I could spend a fortune!

wil does this help?

Ooh they are teeny weeny. Wonder if it would help my dodgy back.

Ah I see Lil. It's crap he's not into it although better that than him being into some weird shit. After the conversation about people sticking oddly shaped objects up their bums, you have to wonder about what some people get off on.

Currently laid with legs in the air....

Morning ladies!