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The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

999 replies

mountaingirl01 · 16/11/2014 23:21

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
ChatEnOeuf · 21/11/2014 12:36

Any pee news? I'm bored of cleaning ready for the MiL's attendance this w/e...

Khbutterfly11 · 21/11/2014 12:47

oooh chat my DH never communicates when his DM will be visiting and then i go spare cos i'm paranoid! he thinks it's funny that i have a mad cleaning sesh when she's due, but only a quick wizz round when mine is coming!! daft i know!!

honeysucklejasmine · 21/11/2014 13:26

Hi ladies. My kitchen is a bloody bombsite. Ta da! "Kids" birthday cake.

I neglected to poas this morning as i can't face it if not pregnant. Seeing the in laws and want to be able to support them re: their son being a baby daddy without feeling shit about my own inability to get knocked up. I guess I'm scared that my immune system is killing my children. I really hope not.

I woke up at 3am this morning with a headache and feeling shit. Went downstairs in case i started heaving. Luckily did not and went back to sleep after some paracetomol.

The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33
lildottie · 21/11/2014 13:33

honey I assume (because sil did) you've dine lots if planning with you lupus Dr pre ttc, so try not to worry. they wouldn't give you the go ahead to ttc if they thought things weren't right. they won't want you going through unnecessary stress and repear MCs and risk a lupus flare.

cake looks awesome btw.

lildottie · 21/11/2014 13:35

why is it not the done thing to hug on mn? aibu to think that is stupid?!

Khbutterfly11 · 21/11/2014 13:45

i don't think yabu i like weirdy internet hugs, i don't know why it isn't the done thing either

lildottie · 21/11/2014 13:47

and why are they called weirdy? I only learned it wasn't the done thing the other day! only 2yrs being a mner

honeysucklejasmine · 21/11/2014 13:52

Actually we haven't done much. Just a "let's go for it and see" sort of thing, but then I've been in remission for a few years so I guess it didn't need to be discussed really. Sad

Cake is supposed to look a bit silly BTW, but thanks Lil! I do not have a career as a baker ahead of me.

Khbutterfly11 · 21/11/2014 13:57

no idea on that one either!!! i picked that one up from a wedding forum i was on! they weren't the not done thing across there but were always referenced as weirdy?!?! maybe that's come from you not actually being able to give an actual hug but no i'm clueless!! well from me to you lil here is a ((((HUG)))) lol!!

honey the cake looks fab!!

batfish · 21/11/2014 14:20

Wow honey awesome cake!

Well I've stressed myself out by getting to know my cervix - had literally no idea where it was so had a little feel around a week or so ago because thought it would be interesting to feel for changes throughout the month. I found it and it was off to one side but hopefully that's not too disastrous. And it was smooth. But then today it felt like there was a lump on it. Not a hard lump but kind of how I imagine piles would feel! Haven't had piles but have seen a pic thanks to gross friends and things you can find on the internet Hopefully all ok but it convinced myself something is horribly wrong when maybe it just means my cervix is closed and kind of puckered or something!? Gross hey.

CD21 today, guess I'm technically on tww! Been shagging every other day since CD9 so should prob keep at it, feels like it's been a long month so far!

Indigoblue2 · 21/11/2014 14:31

So I know I'm not meant to be obsessing about my temperature but today it jumped from 36.00 (yesterday) to 36.29! I've not had a jump nearly that big before and think I probably ovulated yesterday Smile lil, tink and other tempers, does this look like a typical rise following ovulation? I'm not obsessing I just want to know

lildottie · 21/11/2014 14:36

indigo sounds good but has to stay above cover line for 3 days to confirm so keep shagging just in case.

bat stop thinking something is wrong. when we didn't get pg within the first 6 months I was convinced I had blocked tubes or something, but all my tests are normal, better than normal even. stress does impact on fertility so try and focus on other things.

kh aww thanks! here have one back (((((hug))))))

off to first acupuncture appointment now. will report back after.

batfish · 21/11/2014 14:39

lildottie I didn't mean I think something is wrong fertility wise, more that I've convinced myself I've got cervical cancer Shock. Being completely ridiculous I know, however I did book in for a smear as realised it has been a while!

I'm definitely assuming this TTC business will take a while so I'll try not to worry about fertility stuff for another good few months at least!

Enjoy your acupuncture!

honeysucklejasmine · 21/11/2014 15:10

Ha ha we are a cheerful, optimistic much today!

((((hugz)))) all round! Wink

TinkerBlue · 21/11/2014 15:24

Hello lovely viroids To hell with rules!!

Nice cake honey may I please order a Christmas Cake in the shape of Elf? (yes Will Ferrell) Wink
I am also in poas denial - i'm probably about 10/11 dpo today but I don't want to know either.... AF due next Thursday I think, so will think about it next week!

Good call on the smear bat - last time I had one the nurse told me "everything looks lovely" weird Hmm. Had to change surgeries, obvs, she never even bought me a drink first! I also think I have a weird cervix - I think mine is low, it probably isn't Wink

Happy Friday!

Khbutterfly11 · 21/11/2014 15:29

lol tink bit forward of her that was!!! never been told mine looked lovely, been told it was awkward but never lovely strops off to write letter of complaint

batfish · 21/11/2014 15:30

Haha well lucky you Tink having a lovely cervix! I think mine is high, I definitely struggle to reach it! It's off in a strange direction though, no idea if that's normal or not.

Khbutterfly11 · 21/11/2014 15:32

mines off to the left side bat been told it's quite common i can't reach mine either, even when it's supposed to be low :-/

ChatEnOeuf · 21/11/2014 15:33

Bat, good call getting your cervix looked at if you're worried. It is probably nothing, but it is always better to know that!

Have more hugs, honey and lil.
Impressive POAS resistance there, will you wait until you're late?

batfish · 21/11/2014 15:33

Haha lucky you Tink having a lovely cervix!

Mine seems very high, not too easy to reach!

Leela5 · 21/11/2014 15:39

Have some inappropriate La hugs to add to your collection!!! bat I'd be exact same as you getting that checked, hope it's all good

honeysucklejasmine · 21/11/2014 15:41

Nah Chat will prob wait till i am 15dpo then whack out a frer.

Noniks3 · 21/11/2014 16:02

Afternoon viroids, have some hugs from me too

Lil drink some water Wink

Jelly hope you're ok

Bat mine is a bit squiffy too, tried to 'monitor' its position & had no idea.

Honey that cake is simply stupendous, please can I help you finish the rest of the smarties?

Tink my last smear was also a bit odd. As I was 'on display' & ready to go the nurse joyfully advised that I 'imagine a nice big penis sliding inside me'?!?! Shock I was so taken aback I couldn't respond. She then helpfully commented 'my, we're a bit tense aren't we?' That's right I'm a bit tense you crazy speculum for a dildo nurse

In other news hopefully I am icing/iced today. We've managed EOD & will tonight & tomorrow AM to really flood any egg action with jizz.

Now will someone POAMFS tomorrow?? Purrrrlleassee?!? I need a fix!!

wilmabedrock · 21/11/2014 16:20

Ah I have a wonky cervix too. We should start some kind of support group Wink .

I totally knew that's what you did Lil - I have a shit memory. We're just unsure whether we should move onto a fixed rate mortgage yet. Stuff I have read seems to imply that interest rate won't rise until later half of next year but wondered if banks will put their fixed rates up ages in advance of this because they know it's likely to happen or do they kind of wait until a date has been decided? This may be a really thick question but I am clueless about such stuff.

Pisghetti · 21/11/2014 16:28

Da fuq did I just read Confused I've had annual smears for ten years thanks to two trips to colposcopy and have never heard anything so inappropriate Shock

I could POAMFS if you like - I haven't indulged in weeks #helpful