The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Just went over to the website mn to see your cake honey - it's ace!! Wow, you must be a dab hand in the kitchen

noniks what day are you? I think I iced yesterday on cd16. We can be gulp POAS buddies?

Btw did I tell you guys that I accidentally said "iced" to my reflexology lady?

Lol indigo I said upduffed to my obstetrician a while ago :)

Ha ha zyla I'm not alone in that then! Was slightly embarrassing

Haha Indigo!

Need to confirm icing but hell yes. You realise I'm a lucky charm said a la creepy leprechaun when it come to being POAS buddies?!

noniks why do you think I asked you...

hib ladies (((more hugs)))

bat definitely worth getting smear in if your worried. its recommended pre ttc too if u aren't up to date.

noniks I had planned to drink lots but have been in acupuncture for 2.5 hrs!

OK so it was lovely and relaxing. however I have come home with 6 seeds stuck in my ear a needle on my toe and one on my arm. plus a food diary to fill in plus a homework sheet. don't think dh is impressed.

I said AF to DH the other day poor poppet didn't have a clue, she's just called "She" in our house!! like "He who cannot be named" ala Harry Potter/Voldermort style

No flies on you Indigo! Hopefully today is/was ice day and my body isn't screwy after lady cycle although I fear it's relentless beast that will always cycle on regardless so I can bring you a BFP!

Er...Lil does your therapist know you have these things stuck in you?!? Must have lots of water this evening to flush out any toxins released...or something like that

yeah they are like mini plaster ones. I'm OK wish with it but dh hasn't stooped moaning yet

lil I'd love to do that! Did it feel good?

Ohmygod noniks she did NOT say that!?!? That's horrendous!

C'mon someone, give me my fix and POAMFS!!!!!!! If you're 12dpo or more, POAS! Pleeeeease! Ok I'll stop now...

I use our terms all the time and my mate says she's got no idea what I'm talking about!

I felt so relaxed. I really enjoyed it. not 100% sold on the ear seeds but ilk embrace it.

oh wil what mortgage are you on? we are on a standard variable rate with c&g. their SVR tracks bank of England base rate. I think its boe rate +2% so we are only paying 2.5% atm. I'd say look at terms of SVR and decide from there. once the rate starts to ho up I think fixed deals will become expensive. we are financially secure so have decided to risk keeping on SVR for now (worked so far!) as there have been whispers of it going up for well over a year. obviously unemployment keeps getting lower so the risk of an increase is getting closer. difficult to know what to do really and not sure if I've helped!

No pressure to anyone is there leela

Well I'm cd11 and think I may be about to or in the middle of ov. Although this icing malarkey isn't exactly prominent. Had a bit over the last 2 days - so it may have been and gone quick question though - and I know everyone is different - but what other symptoms do people get when ovulating?

My areolas are like

I'm afraid I'm not 12dpo till Sunday (when I'm already planning to POAS) so can't help there. Started getting cramps today though same as last month so not hopeful.

lil sounds relaxing though not sure about the leftover needles! But if you're ok with it then your dh needs to get over it

It's Friday!!!!!!!! Can you tell I'm pleased

kez it depends on the person. I get bit bloated, big womble pain on one side and my boobs are bit sore. Also very angry!

Sorry for pressure....now where are those sticks?

Thanks for the cake compliments ladies!

Currently got a meringue in the oven at the moment. Going to sew a pom pom on to a hat now. I know rock and roll.

kez I don't get anything! Maybe a tiny bit of discomfort on one side but other than that nada. Although did have some ewcm this time after drinking more water.

jcandy dh is doing acupuncture too so also has seeds and needles!

I've had the ear seeds lil! The challenge is to try keep them in as long as possible. Most I managed was 8 days but my lady had hers in at least two weeks one time I went. Glad you found it helpful. Most my pins were lower back and abdominal but the one that hurt was in the hand because I saw it happen.

So we have one POAS for Sunday at least - fx JC!

kez - I would go with hunger as a main symptom! Actually? That tends to be week before AF so after icing. CM and slight headache I think but never timed it to be sure.

I told someone at work about my 'friend' that can not wee until after 2pm in the day. That's how amazed I am jelly!!

ah so glad I'm not alone dulcet!!

Oh lil that's makes a lot more sense men are such wimps!!!

Thanks Dulcet

where are you all? I'm getting withdrawal symptoms here its so quiet!

dulcet I refer to you all as my friends in general conversation. I don't let on that your all interweb friends

What are the ear seeds for?

Thanks Lil, I think I got the gist of that after reading it 3 times. We have an offset mortgage at the mo and get a good deal as long as we don't take any money out. Not sure offhand what the rate is. Any fixed rate is an increase in what we currently pay (probably obvious). Ok, you sound like you know what you're talking about and you're risking staying on the variable rate so I think we'll just copy you risk riding it out a bit longer too. God when did all this grown up stuff start infiltrating my life . We just can't risk a massive hike when I won't be working for a while.