The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Hooyah indigo :) Just shagggggggggggggggggggggg

Ok, I think I've calmed down enough, do you ladies mind if I rant about yesterday!

So I told you all about the kitten lady (who has now changed her mind again...arghh)

Then my DP's monitor broke which meant a) he was in a bad mood because he has taken time off work to play his computer games and b) I had to go out and spend £140 on a new one.

Then I come home to find that my TV unit, which cost £600 and was only put up last year, was in pieces because when we put it up last year, my Father in Law (FIL?) insisted we didn't need brackets to fix it to the wall. Alas, a year later my Grandad spotted it was bowing and one of the shelves had collapsed, so I need to replace that too!

Then to top it all off, my Nan phones me to say she's going to a haemotology (sp?) clinic next week because she's got a lump on her clavical and the doctor is concerned because she's also lost a lot of weight in two years (but she has had her gall bladder out so that could be the cause of the weight loss). So the doctor is worried about the "C" word, I'm terrified and my Nan is relaxed about it. My nan and grandad raised me so she's like my mum and best friend...

So yeh, sorry for the epic post of shitness, but I had to rant at someone (DP was still in a bad mood yesterday).

Please ignore this totally non-ttc related post!

Oh bless you Jelly, that really is a shitty day! Try not to worry about your nan yet (yeah right). You'll need all your energy in the future if it is the c word. The last thing you need to be is a tired wreck. I know that sounds mean but i don't mean to be.

Hello viroids, special wave to those who remember me.

La, Chat, Mountain congratulations. Looks like I've missed a lot. :)

Just dropping by to say I've made it to 12 week scan. Single and very much alive baby on board. I cried.

Lots of luck and warmest wishes to you all :)

Oo congrats before :) well done lass! Try to relax a bit now :D

What are you all using lube for? Are you all dry or does it serve another purpose?
Is it just me that requires no further lubrication for shagging? I get WET! Is my own wetness too tart?

gaggia I've never used lube before either! I have never needed it BUT it nourishes and helps the swimmers (well conceive plus and Preseed do) so now I'm on it like a car bonnet!

before!!! That's awesome. I absolutely remember you from my lurking days. That's just brilliant, you can relax a little as jelly says. So pleased for you xxx

Hello before what lovely news, congratulations hope you're not too sicky. Please keep us posted! Xx

gaggia if you don't need it you don't need it. I have about 4 days where I don't need it but the rest of the time it's a godsend!! Also, means you can bypass foreplay and get straight to the main event if you so wish!

jelly thinking of you. This too shall pass x

Twot buddies, any symptoms? I have decided my left boob is pregnant! It is the only part of me that has symptoms

Well done Bother, great news!

Tink I'm 10dpo and nothing really. Fingers very tightly crossed for this month.

Wonderful news Before.

Lovely news before!

jelly sorry for your bad day, I hope your nan is ok

before yay! so pleased to hear all is well. you deserve it.

jelly that is an utterly shit day. fx your nan is OK

indigo pressed and conceive plus mimic ewcm. don't use a normal lube if u decide to as they harm sperm

so in 4days I have turned into a stressed out, narky, mean bitch. I hate birth control. how can it di this to me so quickly. my body aches where I'm holding myself tense, my teeth hurt where I've been clenching them. my dh is petrified of how I'll be on the injections! roll on Christmas!

Oh lil that's shit, I haven't taken bc for years but spent a long time on dianette which made me feel pretty bad
At least you have your end goal to focus on. What happens next? Are you doing a full cycle on the pill or do things start happening this month? Willing you on...... now drink some bloody water

I take pill until 27/12 tink so about 6weeks in total with no break. I then start buserelin injections (down regging I think its called) on 28/12. I'm on long protocol. not sure when I start stimms injections but I think its probably around 14/1 when I have 1st scan.

currently sat in bed contemplating going to cook my healthy ivf friendly tea vs buying dominos or Indian takeaway.

just finishing 1st 500ml bottle. will grab another when I go to kitchen to order takeaway

GUYS GUYS!!! Just got a big dollop of ewcm!!!

Oh Before that's brilliant news! Congratulations! Will you come and chat on the grads Fred too now?

Lil I feel your hormone induced rage - combined pill made me a touch loopy as well . Tell DH to suck it up and think of the BFP.

Jelly - and a hug, that's really quite some day. Hope your nan is ok.

lil, drink some water!

That's rubbish bc is messing with you, not long to go now on grand scheme. Ivf friendly tea!

Nice one indigo!

Congratulations to Tinks left boob! I have absolutely no symptoms whatsoever and at 9dpo I'd expect to at least have one Oh well still holding out till Sunday with Frer at the ready

indigo get shagging!!

lil I had an Indian last night, and wine. It was lush! Also had caffeine in one coffee and one tea today! Join me, live on the edge. I am wild

jcandy I'll pass it on

Thanks for the well wishes everyone. I'm bricking it if I'll be honest about my nan but she's really laid back about it, keeps saying if it was anything serious she'd be much more sick, but I know how quickly these things can spring on you...

Trying not to think about it.

Lil I'd go for domino's lol ;) But you should stick with the healthy one! DP is at a Seether concert tonight (apparrently a shouty band)...joy!

Aww hugs jelly, that's a tough one. It's so easy to say be calm when it's someone else. You just need to try and take each day as it is, I know it's a cliche, but worrying won't change the outcome. I know, blah blah! But it's true xx

kh did af come? Or could you poas buddies with jcandy, sorry I know I'm being pressurized (ok autocorrect, if you wish) but I need some stick action! Ovia says I can poas in 3 days but I'm going to try and hold out. although left boob is very stabby and insistent she know something I don't!

tink stop badgering the viroids goddamnit!!