The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

[mountaingirl01]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

I missed it again!!!!

Kato you've got to give me prior warming. I have to see this bollicle .

Warning not warming! Ha ha!

Morning! Super weird dreams last night. In was setting up an assault course for my cats, but then I had to do it versus someone else. There were lots of others too but that was super odd.

Hugs ainat. It's so frustrating isn't it hun? Just keep with it, I was so sick of not having anything by the end. But honestly, if you are getting cramps and feeling "movement" in your uterus area I would say she's on her way. Possibly not this month, i had 3 months of fluttery stomach, back ache and dashing to the loo thinking the witch had arrived, but in the end it just happened one morning (the night after I got proposed to haha). So I know it's hard to hear but try not to get too down and don't Go mad for all these meds and herbal remedies that are meant to bring AF back.

If you are really concerned go to your doc and ask for the progesterone drug. You take it for 10 days, then it basically kick starts your hormones again. I don't know if it was coincidence or not but the month after taking this AF came back for me :) I know your pain though hun x

La that is the most amazing cat contraption. I'm gojng to make one myself!!

I might be getting another kitten!!!!!!! :D

Oh also DP and I had a make up shag last night. Was very nice. Though we've run out of concieve plus!!!

Also he started asking me about what my fetishes were!! I have no bloody clue! What are normal fetishes??

morning viroids.

Bad times this morning, 1st of all i think i'm out this cycle. What looked the start of AF this morning when i wiped. 2nd of all i've just sat down at my desk at work (At my sisters house/Bro-in-law's computer) and it seems i left this page open yesterday!!! so if they didn't guess that i was ttc i think they will now - on top of the fact i was on here during work hours!!!

There are no secrets in my family either!! if i was going to confide in one member of family it would be this sister, but there is still a long history of the rest of the family finding out things i didn't want them to know!

sorry jelly that just made me splutter my coffee!!! isn't the the whole idea of fetishes that they're not "normal" i don't mean that in a judgey type way just mean by definition....

I don't have fetishes i don't think, i have fantasies but have never acted them out with DH, maybe played them in my head occasionally...

I don't think theres such a thing as oversharing on here anymore so an example is i find it an incredible turn on if we're both still nearly fully clothed (don't get that often, DH likes being fully naked lol) or i think as a teenager one of the 1st books i read with a bit of raunch in was set in like pre-victorian times and the mistress of the house fell in love with the stable guy - cliche i know!! oh and i love a man in greasy overalls!!! :-D

aina it took 3 months for my af to return and it was very frustrating but it does sound like yours is on way. Fx

kh oops! If you'd tell anyway then is it a bad thing? I'm very open and so I told people we were ttc. I got loads of lovely support. Hope you're ok and witch stays away.

jelly you don't half ask some random questions! Abortion yesterday and fetishes today.

i guess i just didn't want the whole family to know and have that pressure, plus i didn't want DH's family to know so we made a pact not to tell anyone else. I suppose it isn't the end of the world so much, i think its cos of just starting out and not knowing how long it's going to take etc. They probably suspect anyway. They know i'm desperate for a baby and they knew DH wanted to be married 1st so.....

Wonder what they thought of the Fred title!! kind of glad it's isnt the one that started with "jizz in your eyes" though lol!

haha Kh that made me laugh!

I think I meant fantasies not fetishes lol! Oops! I've never been the most experimental in bed so I think he just wanted to know (I think we were joking about role play or something) and he started on about tying up etc...I actually think I blushed! I'm such a prude at times hahaha!

oh and sorry about AF Kh :( Hugs!

Sorry for the random questions La I'm a tad weird you know!

fx its ib kh

jelly I wish dh would be more amenable to my fantasies and fetishes. on the basis there really is no such thing as tmi here, I like being tied up. my ultimate has to be along the lines of 50 shades of grey. I want a red room!

kato when's our bollicle date?

I think they're probably almost the same thing?!!? i'm not too experimental, well i have been in the past, but i guess i always come back to the "traditional" DH isn't too bothered as long as he gets some, with the occasional BJ thrown in lol!

oh my days, Kato when will you re-unveil the spornographic photo?!

finally searched out the infamous bollicle thread & its amazing!!

thanks lil we shall see, but this is very similar to how she reared her fat ugly fuckface last month too so will go with that. On the brightside, if it is AF it means i'm back to a 28day cycle and it would be lovely to know where i am again with things!

kh that is a bit cringe worthy, oops!

ainat I wouldn't worry, I do think from what you are describing it sounds as though surely AF can't be too far off and you can get back to normal.

Well I've had a temperature dip this morning, CD15. We had sex on Monday night but without Preseed as I couldn't be bothered going to the bathroom to get it and was pretty tired. Then last night we were too tired so I'm hoping if we have sex tonight with the Preseed (never used it before) it won't be too late. I know the egg can live 12-24 hours but I've only got the smallest amount of ewcm, I mean hardly any, only seen it twice, despite drinking more. And the kind you have to squint and squint at to realise it is ewcm. So I don't think Mondays swimmers will be that well nourished. Hopefully the Preseed tonight will help as I really am a bit concerned that lack of cm = lack of sperm help/nourishment!

What do you viroids think?

indigo just because u don't see it doesn't mean its not there. on my us scan the woman pointed it out at my cervix and said there was loads but I hadn't really seen all that much up to that point as I was a week pre ovulating at the scan.

Thanks lil I was really hoping I'd have a lot more this cycle from drinking so much more. Although like you say maybe it's up there and just not coming down.

Although do you think this close to ovulation that would still be the case?

hhmmm i can't help with this one indigo other than suggesting you have a "root around"?! and see if you get any on your fingers? might put your mind at ease?

indigo have ferret! It's surprising what you can find!

kh sorry about af

It is raining out of my arse I've also had bloods done this morning so feel like I've got a hangover now! Bring on 5 o'clock

I never find anything after a root around, just the tacky CM normally. I'm sure I don't get EWCM ever lol!

I'm also thankful toilets don't have cameras, for a number of reasons. But recently because every time I pop to the loo (which is infrequent) I have a root around to see what's there! Must look quite weird haha

Have a ferret about!

How far up are you all actually digging?! It is sounding like fistfuls to me!

Is it hometime yet?