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Conception

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The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

999 replies

mountaingirl01 · 16/11/2014 23:21

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
KatoPotato · 18/11/2014 22:32

Try again?

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 18/11/2014 22:33

Good grief! Did you have to buy bigger knickers to accommodate your lodger? You had stitches in the end, iirc?

KatoPotato · 18/11/2014 22:36

i had a general Anesthetic and six stitches I think!

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 18/11/2014 22:37

I doff my cap to you, Kato. Stand for office. I'd vote for you. How did you grow it? Despite the anaesthetic and stitches I am really jealous!

KatoPotato · 18/11/2014 22:39

I eventually couldn't sit down! I ended up in A&E in a maxi dress (nae nix) deep breathing leaning on a chair like a labouring woman!

Then plonked in a wheelchair!

Khbutterfly11 · 18/11/2014 22:41

kato! seems I have logged on for an update at just the right time! I have now seen the famous Bollicle and the breasticle!! well done you!!!

honeysucklejasmine · 18/11/2014 22:41

Holy shit Kato! I am in awe!

(Also, you are hot. Super slim!)

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 18/11/2014 22:42

Is the stuff of fairytales! How long has the boob one been incubating? Any plans for its demise?

Indigoblue2 · 18/11/2014 22:55

I can only see the boob one. Is there another one? Whine, I can't see it Hmm

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 18/11/2014 22:58

It was on Kato's profile but she's hidden it again. If you ask nicely I'm sure she'll help sate a fellow sporner. It is not for the faint hearted, though!

Pisghetti · 18/11/2014 23:04

I'm not seeing bollickle Sad is that your nipple kato...? Mine are like mahogany right now. I'm jealous!

In answer to honey's question I'm pro choice. I'm currently at 23 weeks and feeling plenty of movement. I feel incredible protective over my baby and would never bring any harm to it intentionally. If I went into labour tomorrow I would hope that my baby would be given the best possible chance to live despite being below the 24 week cut off. My first pregnancy was unplanned (a contraception failure) and I did explore the option of having an abortion but my maternal instincts had kicked in by then and I decided it wasn't an option for me.

However right to choose is right to choose and my own feelings towards my babies have no bearing on whatever another woman chooses to do with her body. So in that respect no my feelings on abortion haven't changed.

lildottie · 18/11/2014 23:08

damn it I want to see the bollicle! how do I view profiles?

lildottie · 18/11/2014 23:12

no it's OK. I got profiles. kato pleeeaaassssee unhide again

Purplecircle · 18/11/2014 23:14

Kato where's the bollicle gone?

lildottie · 18/11/2014 23:14

she's rehidden it purple

Purplecircle · 18/11/2014 23:16

Ohhh I wanted sporn porn

Purplecircle · 18/11/2014 23:17

Kato I just spotted you're in Bishopbriggs. I am currently talking to you from Holiday Inn Glasgow Airport (my life is soooo rock n roll)

lildottie · 18/11/2014 23:17

me too! can't believe I missed the bollicle again!

Ainat266 · 18/11/2014 23:26

My light spotting/bleeding/AF/whatever it is seems to have stopped. :( Maybe it's not AF finally putting in a visit after all. I guess it could have been a tear like you were talking about earlier, but I dunno... (tmi warning coming up? is that even possible on this Fred???) Last night was very very light - only noticed it when wiping, pink colour. Same this morning and I had cramps (low down, middleish). The cramps got a bit worse and I progressed to more of a red colour, ever so slightly heavier, no need for a pad or anything though a slight colouring on my underwear. By this evening it's gone back to barely being there and a darker red/brown colour. What is it????

La Glad your appointment went well. Hope you're able to breathe a sigh of relief.

Tink Congratulations on not having the clap!

Kato That there is impressive!

Lots of cute cat pictures! And la an impressive effort from Mr La on the cat fort! I made a similar thing on a much smaller scale for a hamster once.

Looking at the smileys list Biscuit looks a bit like a boob. Is it meant to? It's titled as 'no comment' but the thing to type is biscuit in square brackets...

KatoPotato · 18/11/2014 23:26

Mobile Site is Pish for photo management! I promise to do it on iPad tomoz !

lildottie · 18/11/2014 23:37

make sure I'm here for it kato! can we set a time. we can have a bollicle date!

ain (my phone autocorrect your name to "a in at" so now you are ain) it sounds like probably the start of AF but your hormones aren't quite doing what they are supposed to. you probably had a slight drop in prog which caused start of bleed but not dropped enough for full AF yet. less likely is ovulation bleed, but I think you'll have AF in next week or so. jelly may well be best person to advise you!

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 18/11/2014 23:37

Ainat sorry to have missed it earlier, but how many DPO are you? Is it possible you are preg? Sorry AF is messing you around Sad

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 18/11/2014 23:38

My procreating days are well over, but a new Kato saga has me intrigued.

lildottie · 18/11/2014 23:40

oh Grin

Ainat266 · 19/11/2014 00:05

Thanks lil. I hope you're right! (Ain it is... :P )

Jelly do you have any tips/stories to keep me sane?

Lemon I have no idea how many DPO I am, or if I even iced. I'm on CD79! I'm def not preg though. ICs give me negative results, and last one I did was just over a week ago. I even tried a CB on day 40something which was BFN.

Every time I've done an IC OPK I've got a negative result. But I've not been doing them that often if I'm honest.