Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The home of sporn lovers and cunthawks; make sure the ewcm is coming from the right hole and don your capes (but don't put parsley up your chuff!) ... for JUST SHAGGING Part 33

999 replies

mountaingirl01 · 16/11/2014 23:21

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
LemonDrizzleTwunt · 18/11/2014 21:48

La that is epic! Your DH is a true craftsman!

Leela5 · 18/11/2014 21:50

Evening!

jelly of course I'm sticking around, if you'll have me? I haven't had scan yet - til then I'm terrified and wont believe I'm actually upduffed.

lil drink some water!

bat I know what you mean! I find my friends' kids annoying sometimes. But it's different when it's your own I think. I agree with chat that they need to get used to normal levels of noise in the house.

Congrats on not having the clap tink!

honey I believe in the right to choose, but I do think that the upper age limit should be lowered. TTc means that I know more about each stage the embryo is at and as a result I think the age limit is too high. I have friends who've had an abortion and in every case it was a terrible situation for a baby to come into and I feel they might the right decision. They also didn't do it flippantly and it still affects them now. I know that I mourned my 7-week old embryo and it felt like a baby, but if I had got pregnant at 17 years oldI don't know whether I would have felt the same.

Cute cats!

honeysucklejasmine · 18/11/2014 21:50

I'm going to try that Lemon!

wilmabedrock · 18/11/2014 21:54

FML not being able to see these pictures.

I eat tuna and soft eggs and deli meats. I am a bad pregnant person.

honeysucklejasmine · 18/11/2014 21:56

Thanks La Smile

Indigoblue2 · 18/11/2014 22:06

Ha ha honey I knew it wasn't directed at us specifically Smile

Umm, where are my pats on the back for drinking more water? I make a concerted effort to rehydrate my prunish endometrium and you lot just ignore me..

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 18/11/2014 22:06

KLAXON!!!!!

Sporn here! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2238994-DH-has-a-massive-boil

(Pretty soft core, I don't think anyone will be sick at this one.)

lildottie · 18/11/2014 22:08

about to hit 1.2l la thanks! you guys reminding me is really helping.

what does FML mean?

honey before ttc I could only see me having an abortion in very exceptional circumstances, eg foetal abnormalities. (I know I sound selfish but I don't think I could cope with a heavily disabled child, particularly if they would die young) but very much in favour of right to choose (eg a rape victim shouldn't be forced to have their rapists baby). 2years later i wouldn't say my opinion is changed. I still believe in the right to choose but also think I could only do it in exceptional circumstances. as for the late cut off I wasn't aware what it was. I always thought it was 16wks. 23weeks does seem too late and if it is linked to 20week scan they should scan earlier.

just done most of my Xmas shopping. I love Amazon!

lildottie · 18/11/2014 22:09

oh indigo meant to say well dine on the water. I'm taking sine credit too for inspiring you!

Indigoblue2 · 18/11/2014 22:09

Means fuck my life lil

KatoPotato · 18/11/2014 22:10

Well all this sporn chat has brought about a new Kato lump! No more bollickle... I have... A BREASTICLE!

wilmabedrock · 18/11/2014 22:15

No way Kato?!

lildottie · 18/11/2014 22:17

kato its not a third breast under the other 2, its a baby my love Wink

honeysucklejasmine · 18/11/2014 22:17

Well done Indigo! You must be practically swimming!

Kato! Shock Why do you always get it in intimate places? I wanna see a picture!

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 18/11/2014 22:18

I think I have just died and gone to heaven. Pictures, Kato!!!!

wilmabedrock · 18/11/2014 22:18

Grin Lil

Leela5 · 18/11/2014 22:19

Wtf kato! Photo? la still bitter at missing bollicle follicle photo

Well done indigo, good girl!

KatoPotato · 18/11/2014 22:23

It's next to my nipple... And it hurts

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 18/11/2014 22:23

La I missed it too. I have never quite gotten over that Grin

KatoPotato · 18/11/2014 22:24

I'll unhide the bollickle pic on my profile just for you guys.

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 18/11/2014 22:25

That is fucking marvellous Kato! You can't half grow em! Grin

Does it have 2 heads? I'm recommending a hot flannel and a needle dragged across the top to make a linear cut, not a stab down.

KatoPotato · 18/11/2014 22:26

Should I start a new thread? Is it what my sporny public want?

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 18/11/2014 22:28

Probably yes. All quite on the other Fred now with the boil on the DHs back...you could provide a service just by highjacking that one. Or, stay here and make the JSers the talk of the town Wink

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 18/11/2014 22:30

Did you unhide the bollicle? It's not showing up Sad

KatoPotato · 18/11/2014 22:30

I'll direct the creeps who want a photo straight here!