TTC for 10 months, and all the rest. 10 plussers welcome.

[MuddyWellyNelly]

New thread full of the most amazing women.

critter - have a super journey back home. I'm so pleased the bleeding has stopped. Unfortunately those injections do get very sore and lumpy but they do the job i guess.

nelly - no apologising, i caused the drama. . Anyway i have a drama and a panic every day , i'm afraid it's par for the course.

Safe flight, Critter :)

So a random (and possibly tmi) question. 3 dpo here and have a lot of cm, some of it even seems like ewcm - so much so that I just did an opk which was negative of course! Is it normal to have Ewcm 3 dpo? I don't usually get a lot hence why I've noticed! X

Little post to say how pleased I am for critter, nelly and joy. Reading your posts does make me think about how eggshell like the journey must feel once the bfp has arrived but hang on in there lovelies. Family and work has squeezed out time for longer posting but will catch up when I can. Sam I am a temping veteran so my advice is to buy that book and stick with it for a while longer. It is easy to obsess over charts etc but try to see it as just a bit more info. It isn't perfect and our bodies constantly surprise us but a few months charts can be v useful to have. Ray I've been thinking about you ever such a lot and I hope you're ok. Love to all other plussers, back soon.

sam, I can never really tell the difference between ewcm and the after effects of sechs to be honest. I'm only certain what it is if we haven't done the deed for a couple of days.

fox, I do miss your posts. How was your family visit? Thank you for thinking about me, I often think of you too. Is there any news on a donor yet?

Nelly, how are you doing today? I think dizziness is a good sign. I know friends who said that was their first symptom.

People are very insensitive, pil have peed me off now with a comment but actually I don't think telling them will make any difference because I just don't think they'd get it. Why do people find infertility so hard to understand?

Sammy I def suggest the book. I have a copy you could have but to be honest it's heavy and postage would probably be prohibitive. As Ray days I often get confused by leakages and now have fanny candles poring out all day every day

Fox thanks for popping by and thinking of us. Enjoy the visit xx

Ray I guess (in my charitable moments) it is hard to understand with no point of reference. There are certainly tons of scenarios I don't know anything about, eg, having a child with SEN. In the past I may have made stupid comments (none that I recall but doesn't mean it didn't happen). The difference now is I tend to keep my gob shut if I have no knowledge or experience, but I guess infertility taught me this.

I'm doing ok thank you. Got dizzy again about 30 mins after the progesterone this morning, so I think it's that but could be co-incidence. Feeling calmer about yesterday's panic and actually considering not having another blood test. I'm going to ask Penny to explain what else she would change; and if nothing I don't see the point. Touching wood frantically, I've had nothing to suggest a problem other than a misleading blood test. Which just worried me.

Had a funny moment just now. Went to buy a coffee. Asked for decaf and got the third degree . Why you having that, it's bad for business, he joked. I said it was good for my sleep and he said But it's 11.30, surely it's fine just now? Bearing in mind this is within the office surrounded by colleagues .

Nelly, you'll be the talk of the office. If you get asked again, perhaps you could say you're doing a detox in preparation for Christmas. I have an uncanny knack for guessing people are pregnant now, dh thinks I'm psychic, but it's just I know all the signals from hanging around here so long.

Will you be having a scan soon, nelly? What did mr nelly think about the high hcg? Is he thinking twins too?

Infertility has definitely made me more sensitive towards people. I think much more carefully before I ask questions or offer comment. I cringe when I think of some of the insensitive things I said years ago. I remember asking a colleague why she hadn't had a second child. I just assumed it was a choice.

Cos, did you decide what to do over Christmas? I am so happy we are staying here. Going to family would have been unbearable because of recent announcement. I'm desperate for us to fit in December cycle. Can you all have a word to make sure my body plays ball please?

Nelly and Ray - I know it wasn't that as dh has been away for 3 days!

Thank you Nelly. I will buy it on my kindle - the postage will probably be more than the download! Xx

Detox is a good one, thanks!

I don't think we will. Surprisingly. I already know something(s) implanted and are thus far growing. I've not bled (huuuuuggeeee touch wood) and an early scan could be inconclusive )too early for heartbeat) or conclusive, but satisfying for about 1.2 seconds. I want to wait until about 8 weeks as a HB at that stage means a much lower chance of MC. Let's be honest, if minelly isn't going to make it, finding out at 6 or 8 weeks won't make any difference. I panicked a lot yesterday and I want a break from milestones and phone calls and worry. My plan is to try to keep busy at work, do all the right things. And forget about it hahahahaha!

Do I have permission to remind you that you are forgetting about it if you are fretting? You're right a scan wouldn't give you any reassurance for long. You know normals only have two scans in the whole pregnancy, I can't get over that!

I know, it is bonkers! Of course you have permission. And I will try to comply I've used donor eggs for a reason and I need to keep reminding myself that there's more chance of it going well than any other scenario. Easier said than done with everything we've all been through though. Given how duff my own eggs were I think it would be a very different kettle of fish if Id ever got that elusive BFP.

Ray – i agree with nelly, people who don’t understand have no frame of reference. When people who know your problem but still manage to come out with spectacular insensitive comments, I think can only be described as lacking any sense of empathy. I have stewed and fumed for days over some things that have been said to us by people who know. But I don’t think they were being malicious. I just use to say to myself that they hadn’t been what we have been through and they don’t understand but it took me several days to get to that point. And To me it’s bonkers that grown adults still question other people about when they are going to have kids or why they haven’t had them because surely everyone must know somebody who has struggled. However, pre-ttc I did use to ask people whether they had kids or whether they wanted a second. But like you I have really become a lot more empathetic to other people’s problems now from this experience....(well unless somebody is complaining about struggling for their 3rd child or sth along those lines .)

Nelly – it sounds like you have your head screwed on and 8weeks is sensible. From my experience, scan reassurance lasts 2 days but most people aren’t quite as neurotic as I am. I also only had one blood test this round and left it in nature’s hands. It did wonders for my anxiety. I couldn’t go through the stress of multiple hcg tests like last year.

Fox – lovely to see you around these parts.

x

Thanks Joy. I've emailed P to ask what, if anything, she would do as an intervention if the results were poor Further pregnyl seems pointless at this stage. My HcG is rising, and if it starts falling I'm stuffed really. And we've established (I've now found medical reports as evidence) that my progesterone is misleading. Plus it's all adding up cost wise too. I'm contemplating phoning my doctor now but this feels like a Big Step.

Has anyone had a toxoplasmosis test? I would like to know if I already have the antibody. Thinking of asking my GP.

Oooo, Nelly - dizzy is definitely a thing. I remember it. Along with general low level crapness. I dodged the nausea until 9 weeks though. I thought I was going to get away with it!

I was never tested for toxo. It's not standard here. It made me very paranoid when I was in France!

Critter the delivery of the woolly hug is such a nice thing for him to do. MN can be a really lovely place.

If you will be in London at any point in your visit and have some free time, let me know as I am still on mat leave and would love to see you.

ray infertility definitely made me more sensitive too. God knows how often I have put my foot in it in the past.

What is toxoplasmosis test for??

I'm having a tizz about whether to have the flu jab which I've been told I should have but I'm on steroids and no one can say whether I can have the jab whilst on them. I sit on the bus with my face covered by my scarf looking like a total freek.

Toxoplasmosis (sorry if you know this) can be caught from soil, cat poo, lambs and undercooked meat. If you catch it when pregnant and it crosses the placenta it can be harmful. My guess is I'm high risk (though Mr N is doing the litter trays) but if I've already had it I wouldn't need to worry. If you catch it during pregnancy (and find out) you need to take antibiotics all the way through. There's a good chance I'm already immune and it would be good to know.

Given how bad my cold is right now I'm not going to get the flu jab until
I'm off steroids. My guess is voluntarily giving myself flu isn't a great plan right now. But it's another thing I would like to discuss with GP. That and trying to persuade him to give me my remaining drugs!

P replied and didn't say exactly what she "might" do, but agreed I've probably done all I can re progesterone. So if Mr N agrees I think I will cancel tomorrow's blood test.

Also, going to in laws for dinner and roast beef on menu. They know I like it pink. I've got my antibiotic excuse for the booze but going to look odd if I suddenly ask for tough-as-boots steak! Very pfb of me

joy I didn't have the flu jab or the other one they recommend during pregnancy, you don't have to have it if you don't want to its totally up to you

nelly the scans do offer temporary reassurance maybe 24 hours if you are lucky, I had 2 mmcs and if I hadn't had scans then I think it would have been a massive shock to get to the 12 week one and find there was no heartbeat, it can all change in a second and swinging from scan to scan is what got me through

I don't think I could wait until 12 weeks Buzzy, but 8 feels like a good compromise of waiting vs useful information. Well that's today's plan, I reserve the right to change my mind tomorrow

Toxo queen here nelly - way over half of women where I was living when pregnant with Tiny have already been exposed by their first pregnancy and the test is standard. Even though it's associated with cat litter and stuff in the UK, globally it's much more often diet related - where I was salads and raw vegetables and raw meat (very popular ). I was negative (likely due to the lack of raw meat eating?) and my doctor never did retests during pregnancy so I never saw the point. I think you would have a hard time even getting a test in the UK, but that's just a guess.

Ah yes I recall toxo now nelly.

Buzz - I don't particularly want the jab but I certainly don't want to get the flu because of complications. And apparently it is not a live virus and poses no threat but I don't know how true that is.

Afternoon all,
Just swinging in to recommend a book called Expecting Better by Emily Oster. She's an American economist who went through all the research when pregnant and then wrote up her findings in a book. She was very neurotic; it allayed a lot of my fears. I'm drinking up to 4 real cups of tea this time (rebel) and not worrying at all based on the book. She talks about toxo, colour of meat and booze in there too. I thought it was a good, straight-forward easy read (if not a little heavy on common sense) and got it cheap from the kindle store. Also, I've had the flu jab both times, no ill effects not even a sniff. But I don't know about the combo with steroids. As far as I understand it's a dead virus and shouldn't cause any problems? But I'm no doctor!

Anyway, gotta run. Mini-Bunny and me are baking a banana bread together and I need to check it's not burning....

I have a friend who is a vet and she was tested in the uk. She wasn't immune which surprised her.

The flu isn't a live vaccine so there's no chance of it giving you flu. Your immune system is suppressed in pregnancy so you're much more vulnerable.

joy as queen or neurosis here I am probably not the best person to speak to, as I had the last flu jab on the Thursday and miscarried on the Sunday I link the two together especially as I had immune problems, unknown at the time, the other was whooping cough but I was having a winter baby so I said no to that as well, I remember the nurse giving me a look and I just started to cry told her my mad reason why and she wrote it in my notes and I was never asked again :)

nelly just tell Mr N that he is on cat pooper scooper duty from now on, 8 weeks sounds like a good plan