TTC for 10 months, and all the rest. 10 plussers welcome.

[MuddyWellyNelly]

New thread full of the most amazing women.

Funnily enough I read something else about Vit D which is what made me think about it. And I have a stinking cold and body-wracking cough that makes me worry I will cough minelly right out so Vit C might be needed as well.

That's good Sam. Remember that individual temps don't mean much on their own, it's the overall pattern. So, it doesn't matter if you get a dip below the cover line or temps go up and down. It's just that overall they should be consistently higher after ovulation. Mine usually fell quite sharply the day before af.

Joy, that's so true about the relax thing. The miracle conception stories bother me a lot because I think it downplays the wretchedness of the situation. It's saying it will happen if you wait long enough, which is not going to be the case for everyone. Certainly I think my mum thinks it's a matter of time. When I told her about the latest pregnancy announcement she did ask if it was planned and when I said yes she did comment that it was nice for some that they could plan these things so I think she got that I might feel some unfairness over it.

I think I'm looking for support in the form of joining in to say how shit it is, rather than a positive it will be alright in the end type thing. I don't feel like anyone outside of ttc hell really understands the pain.

Joy, I can't believe you're 12 weeks already. When did you get your bfp? It only feels like days ago but I'm sure it doesn't for you. How are you feeling? Do you have any signs of pregnancy yet? When is your due date? Is it may or June?

Buzz, I think that sounds like your parents want to be part of your lives again. Perhaps a skype call where mini buzz takes the limelight might work better as there will be less pressure on you to think what to say.

Nelly, was the hat tasty? I have a friend who is currently pregnant and who hasn't given up riding although i think she's taking it easier than she did before. She's an instaduffer though and so doesn't seem to be a worrier. I felt a pang when she told me how relieved she was at the 12 week scan and that she could enjoy and relax for the rest of the pregnancy. That must be what it's like for others.

Fox and cos, hope you're both doing ok.

Star. Welcome. I'm so sorry about the mc and also that the shitty system means it put you back to square one. I'd be pushing for ivf now, it will give you more info about your eggs hopefully if nothing else.

I had my first ever panic attack on Friday. I was so upset and crying so hard I found I couldn't catch my breath and that set me off. It was awful, but we treated ourselves on Saturday and had a lazy day yesterday and I'm feeling much better now. I had an anxiety dream last night though so it's still bubbling underneath. The plan is to do a natural round in December but I have a sinking feeling that Xmas is going to get in the way.

I was told vitamin d and folic acid. Could you justs get an all in one pregnancy vitamin? That reminds me that I haven't taken one in ages and I should probably be trying to build up stores.

I gulped at the £20k nelly. But they when I think about it we are probably not that far off when you include everything. I have deliberately not kept a running total because it would make me cry! That's one of the things I find most frustrating, the cost. We would have had a nice savings pot for maternity leave if it wasn't for this.

Ray the hobbling is complex. He is young and although super-sweet is prone to bouts of naughtiness. I wouldn't have him any other way mind . Although I don't tend to get launched very often, I did take a bit of a rib-crushing fall in the spring. Mr Nelly keeps telling me to take it easy with everything, and although he doesn't realise he is doing it, it's making me feel like the odds of a MC are somehow in my hands. I'm trying to very gently suggest that it's a) not true and b) a level of stress I could do without. But if I did fall off and then had a MC, although it would probably be unrelated I would feel guilty and he would blame me no matter what he said. My marriage doesn't need that! All that said, once I shake this cold off I will see how I feel as I'm pretty bored of taking it easy already.

Will post more later but need to go to my blood test. But so so sorry about the crappy parts of the weekend :(. Panic attacks are not fun. Big hugs xx

How lovely to see pout and doll although bladder issues sound grim. I have had bowel investigations that weren't as horrible as I had anticipated and I hope that you find these straightforward and pain free as well.

ray the panic attack must have been really scary. Have you looked into any counselling? I rang up the counsellor for our fertility clinic but they only offered appointments during working hours and I wasn't willing to miss any more what with all the ivf appointments. I still think it would have been useful to talk it through with someone though. It's such a long time to be under so much stress.

Nelly just get a bog standard pregnancy vit from the chemist. I am sure the blood test was fine but thinking of you anyway.

Welcome star and I'm so sorry that you have been on this road so long.

Sammy I gave up on temping because it was feeding him into my obsessiveness but I agree that a few months could give you some valuable info.

Good morning.
thinking of you with your scan today Nelly. I hope it gives you a bit more reassurance.

I have only told a few people about my ivf. Unfortunately oh told his mates so I quite often get asked by the wives of the friends how it's going but I play it down as it's not something I want to'chat' about.

my mum knows the minimum too. She gets easily confused and I don't want any added stress of having to explain it all then get the feeling of pity from her. She is also of the school 'just give it time' blah blah!

I checked with my clinic about the length of time involved and (although vague) she confirmed it's right I'm stimming in December, oh yeah, that's next week! argh!! still no clearer on ec date though.

Joy, I can't believe how much time has gone. I started reading this thread just as you were starting this round and without coming across all clingy, it was your journey that has helped me get my head round things. because of the timing.

critter, I hope you have had a relaxing weekend.

Hope fox is doing ok, and anyone else feeling down.

Nelly – best of luck with your blood test today. don’t forget no symptoms mean nothing but I agree symptoms is always reassuring. I had absolutely nothing. I've now started to retch - i think it's related to hunger. I retched 8 times on Friday. I'm glad it's not throwing up as I would be throwing up all over the place. I’ve only just started on the multi vitamins and an omega 3 capsule. I gather this is all very late though. If you don’t eat fish, omega 3 is important for brain and eye development. I think the 2nd tri starts at 14weeks so that will be next week some time but it’s all 'touch wood' and ‘if’ and ‘let’s see’ and 'cross fingers' when I think about even next week.

Ray – sorry to hear about your panic attacks. I have had several over ttc and the problems breathing and feeling sick and shaking are absolutely horrible. I am glad you feel better today. I don’t think the anxiety goes away, it’s always there , seeping out in dreams. But you just have to focus on your next round. You will get there. you really will. Costs are horrifying aren’t they and they can make you very resentful. Yes 12wks feels like an age but it never does with other people. I think time stands still when you worry. 40wk due date is beginning of June but twins don’t go beyond 36wks i don’t think and most don’t make it to there. Seems far fetched to think about that really. It must be so nice for people to relax after 12weeks. I'm still nervous going to the loo.

Must do some work. Waves to everyone else.

Morning all. Zero interest in work so far today. I am one office door away from a pregnant colleague who I am trying not to radiate hatred towards (the 20th one I have had to watch get fat in my workplace - yes, I have been counting!) Think there's a magic chair they haven't told me about.

nelly yes to day 3 and 21 (done about 4 times now) Extra bloods done to check thyroid etc at appt in June and seems ok. No to HSG - might ask for this at next appt. joy yes to IVF, I am ready, bring it on! This is what I am hoping we can kickstart at next appt in 2 wks. Think I'm entitled to 3 rounds on NHS here. pout agree unexplained infertility is as you put it 'a bag of shit' - I'm sure they would not have sent me away in June for another 6 mths if they knew what was wrong/if my womb had not played tricks on me last year. Thanks for the virtual hugs re. the MMC everyone; the worst thing about it has been all the bollocks advice like 'well at least it happened once' or 'a miscarriage flushes your system out doesn't it?' critter you're right, disappointment isn't the right word. If that pregnancy had worked out the baby would have been 1 last week. I was beyond miserable all week but feel a bit better as of today.

sam good luck with the temping. I've never tried this as feared it would make me too/more OCD! Used OPKs for ages at one point (even the posh ones with smiley faces) and they told me I was ovulating every month, still didn't bloody help though. Just ruined my sex life! (What was/is left of it)

nelly wouldn't worry about extra vits. I take all sorts of shite and makes no difference I'm sure! Glad you're still seeing lines.

critter, nelly, joy (and anyone I've missed out) sorry for talking about miscarriages by the way, not helpful/insensitive of me when you are all at early stages.

hi star
sorry i haven't welcomed you yet! I always update on my phone and have a very short memory.

sorry to hear about your rubbish journey so far. I can't imagine what you have gone through. although it took us 3 years to get here i am ready to try anything now. I have counted 9 people in my office that I've had to watch, and hear all about it. It's like nails down a black board to me (obviously excluding anyone on here!)

Sammy, good luck with the temping, that's something I didn't try, from what I've heard it's a good distraction and gives a lot of useful information, but I would end up over obsessing I think, and I'm rubbish in the mornings!

Star, it's so hard when people around you are pregnant, isn't it? I've lost count of how many, but it's safe to say it's just about everyone of child bearing age now.

Joy, retching doesn't sound nice. But it's good that you've got this far with minimal symptoms (although not good for reassurance reasons) . I know someone who got to 38 weeks with non id twins, both in own sacs with own placentas which I think makes a difference. They weren't ivf though so I don't know if that changes things.

Mad, I did think about counseling but the same problem as you in that I couldn't get away from work. Also I'd have to do it in a second language and I think I'd struggle to explain complex, emotional stuff. I also don't think I want someone to say, how does that make you feel? I want tea and sympathy and shaking fists at the world.

Bunny, you didn't say anything insensitive. Actually, I like being reminded that it's not always a bed of roses. I don't mind people moaning at all, I prefer that to the oh, my life is so perfect you should try it stuff.

Struggling to concentrate on work today... my to do list is so long it doesn't seem worth even bothering to tackle it....

star your woes seem quite similar to mine - I too got sent away to try some more, then the forgot to refer me, then I did a bunch of bloods again, and then I got sent away for ANOTHER 3 months all under the "unexplained" banner. Then after all that they finally did a different sperm analysis and found out it was an antibody issue and there's no chance we can get pregnant without icsi. I can't really offer any advice other than keep pestering everyone you can to see you, and keep calling for cancellations. I have learned that now, but fell like had I been ballsy to begin with I would already be updiffed as they say! If things get going for you soon, maybe we'll be cycling together? That would be nice!

sam good luck with the temps. I never did them as I worked shifts until about a year ago so never woke up at the same time. I'm quite glad really as I'm really obsessive and they would have been terrible for me!!

fluffy so exciting that you are starting really soon! I am a month behind you I think, so will be watching you like a hawk! I can really relate to not really knowing what's going on... They are doing a mock transfer and internal scan in December and the nurse mentioned giving me all the drugs then in time for January but that just seems really soon! Don't they go off? Did they give you yours already?

ray sorry about your panic attacks. I suffered from anxiety for years, and it's really not nice. I think it prepared me for the IVF a bit though, because people just don't understand. There's a lot of "oh just cheer up!" and "just make an effort to talk to people" and "if you think positively, the anxiety will disappear". Now I just get the same with willing myself pregnant and "relax and it will happen". I'm glad my anxiety filter is getting a second use, waste not want not and all that. I've never been convinced by counselling either, I'm all about the tea and shaking fists too.

nels it's totally the same as relaxing I like to compare how much the kids cost - totally appropriate (Little Doll was much more errr expensive than Tiny as it turned out). I totally see that you can't waste those sticks nutter seeing as you got a good deal on the sticks you could treat yourself to some post preggo vits or not

Sorry thought I posted directly after nelly's vit question - didn't notice the whole page after good luck with the scan and waves to everyone else.

Posh preggo not post preggo again

Doll and others, even better I found I had some already. I think I bought them thinking they were conception ones. I will add it to my list of 8 tablets, 4 fanny candles and 1 injection I'm doing every day. I'm really quite confused by the schedule!

Ray the DE counselling I had was bordering on useless but I think it was mainly a personality thing. She said the odd helpful thing but mainly I was sitting there thinking "get to the point woman" . I'm glad you feel better today but the endless waiting is the pits. It would be rubbish to have to miss a December cycle as well. Have you given any more thought to overseas treatment?

Star I didn't find you talking about MCs as insensitive at all. It's a very real risk yes, but this thread is a place to share everything.

Fluffy I'm glad you confirmed stimm date, sorry to even have brought it up

Toes ugh to busy work but it can be helpfully distracting too. I've taken today off sick as my cough and cold are so bad and I don't have to take a scary phone call in the office but actually I'm still keeping myself busy with chores as it's the only way to feel half-calm. It's good that eri are doing a mock cycle I reckon. I do hear very positive things about them. ERI I meant, but mock cycles are a goo idea too.

Right off for a shower in the next phase of don't stop don't think phone will ring eventually.

hi toes, I've had my drugs in the fridge since the beginning of November. including the fanny candles as dh won't let me separate the package of drugs!

Nelly, please don't say sorry about bringing it up. tbh I wanted it all to be a bit quicker as a) I'm impatient and b) didn't want everything to fall over Xmas. I really appreciate people's thoughts on things as it helps to get through.

Nurse called early, whilst I was in the shower. She might have told me if need to sit down . HcG has gone from 600 to 2503 in 72 hrs... The nurse jokes about triplets

Prog down a bit to 29.8 but I think it's still fine. Off to email Penny and try to stop shaking

Will catch up properly later but a sneaky desk post to say wow nelly! I don't know 100% what the numbers all mean, but that is a huge increase! Triplets?! Eek! Xx

wow Nelly, that's fantastic news!

Sammy, I'm a complete novice here, but they like to see the HCG double at those levels every 48-72hrs. The "rises" then slow down, so mine does seem to have gone up quite quickly. Am hoping it's a good sign but bit nervous as to what it might mean in terms of quantities.

Nelly, that's great news!!! You know what I am thinking but I won't say it. I think you must be using ng/mL levels for progesterone and not the nmol/l levels we use down souf.
Will be back later

Oh I don't know :(. Should I check? Do you think they are low?