TTC for 10 months, and all the rest. 10 plussers welcome.

[MuddyWellyNelly]

New thread full of the most amazing women.

Thanks so much ladies for the warm welcome. Nelly have had bloods done numerous times (nothing picked up; all indicating ovulation as normal), SA done twice (normal range) dildo cam (lining fine, "satisfactory" ovarian reserve). I'm 36 so figured satisfactory was better than nothing! What other tests should I push for? Have had acupuncture twice monthly since January; acupuncturist is baffled as to why I'm still struggling (thinks it's maybe just low energy; working too hard).

Critter, agree about the WTF bonus 6 months - they viewed the fact that I got pregnant last year naturally as evidence that I'm ok...Even though it took just over 2 years - we were weeks away from our first fertility appt when I got my BFP (in May 2013) and I had a blighted ovum in the end (so cruelly had to wait 12 wks to see an empty womb on the screen). Wish it had never happened as it has made us start from scratch again referral-wise. Have had such a wasted year - waited 6 months from referral in Jan to first appt only to be told to bugger off for another 6 months and "give it more time". Feel vindicated in a way to be going back still infertile in a childish "see, I told you so!" kind of way!

sam it's good that you can talk to your mum about all this. My own relationship with my mum is pretty dysfunctional so not much use to me, so she doesn't know what me and Mr Star are going through. Buzzy I don't know your parental back-story but I know from experience with my own rubbish parents that little and often contact is sometimes better than going from one extreme to the other (from nothing to too much) if that makes sense!

You totally have been a thread hog nels the others are just being nice brilliant brilliant news. Don't be looking in this direction on what not eat. I ate all the wrong cheese, pâté etc, the advice varies by country so I'm a bit with the whole thing. Oh that crack thing might be a universal though.
critter wonderful news love, really wonderful.
joy I'm so sorry to read that you can't enjoy things now, that's so sad.
I've been reading all the comments about TTC grief with sadness too. Weirdly it also made me realise I never think about TTC or the IVF at all. My regret and miserable thoughts tend to be about how shit things were directly after Tiny Doll was born, I rehash that a lot but it has faded some. In my case I do enjoy the children more now I'm back at work and my new job is thrilling (even though most people would hate it ) euro my periods came back at 4 months too - I put it down to nursing strikes - just one of Tiny's stunts.
So I think I actually had some TTC comments but I can't remember now and have run out of time
Best wishes to the newer folk, I'll come back when I find my brain.

Oh star I just saw your "I told you so" post - you sound like me! What a shit situation you are in, we are long term unexplained too, only one pregnancy through IVF (second round). I feel it must be tougher if you have got pregnant once unassisted.

Hi all, so 3 days since peak result showed up on opk and still no real rise in temp. Someone on another thread said that maybe I sleep with my mouth open as this can affect results, any thoughts?
I'm struggling with testing at the same time AND after 3 hours sleep as I often wake in the night which interrupts things. Xx

Sam, sleeping with mouth open can lead to lower temps but they would be lower pre ovulation too so you'd still see a rise. What temps are you recording? My pre ovulation ones were 36.4 or around that and post were 36.7 or so not a massive jump but quite clear.

Thanks Ray

Wed 36.1
Thurs 36.31
Fri 36.24
Sat 36.41
Sun 36.43 (but this was an hour later than yesterday as I forgot to set the alarm!)
So compared to Thursday it's only gone up by .1 - does that count?
I have started to get a bit of a cold so it's possible that I've been sleeping with mouth open the last couple of days...

You might have ovulated on Friday, you'll need to wait to see if tomorrow is higher too.

Yeah.... I'm not very good at this waiting thing! ??
Thank you for your reply, much appreciated. X

This is why I hated temping because I became a bit obsessed waiting for the temp rise and then worried myself that the rise wasn't high enough. Scans have shown since that I do ovulate so my worrying was over nothing.

Yeah, I have a feeling it's going to worry me too. Am going to give it a try for a couple of cycles and see how I get on. X

Quick, sneaky, breaking my 'step away from the thread' effort to say to nelly wow and wow and wow and squee hyperventilates It only seems like yesterday you were thinking about making the call to Penny and now you are pregnant Fab news.

critter I am equally thrilled that your scan went well. May the good luck continue on here.

Sorry to hear about all the Xmas sadness. We will be home alone, alone for the first time in a long time (sister has really hurt me). I am trying so hard to be positive about it and planning lush food and box sets and board games for me and MrP. Its hard though because I know that I would have a much better time planning presents for my children, hanging stockings, Xmas crafts etc.. I don't even drink and can't get bladdered for the twelve says of Christmas! sigh

buzz Oh my goodness and the lovely message from your parents. What do you think about skyping or do you think it is a case of already pushing boundaries?

star I am so sorry to read your post. I will in Feb/March be looking at 5 years of unexplained and feel your pain and utter despondency. It is the most frustrating bag of shit there is to have no explanation for the lack of pregnancy. I would much rather have been told that I had x and y wrong and stood no chance of conceiving than be told at every possible juncture that everything was absolutely normal and optimum. I have no words of wisdom other than to give a virtual big squeeze and to say FWIW when you are ready the pain will subside or rather morph into something more manageable & less stinging.

ray when are you cycling? Thanks for asking after my dodgy bladder! I'm having an op prob in Jan to stick a camera up my lady bits to look at my bladder (yet more indignity) and to stretch something blocks ears and brain and sings la la la la

Waves to everyone, gin, lemons fox euro joy bunny

pout I have had the camera in the bladder, they made me wear a gown that then plugged into like a hair dryer thing that blew warm air in to your gown to keep you warm it didn't really hurt but I remember thinking I hope I don't piss everywhere as you had to have a full bladder they put your bladder up on the big screen so you can see it.
I think the skype thing is more about timing as they have said they are going awaythis week for 3 months to 'forrin clims' and I am not sure what communication is like where they are going, although I would imagine to be half decent

Pout, good you're getting the bladder thing investigated but that sounds a bit ouchy. Have you ever had a lap? My experience of the catheter from that wasn't so bad so I guess the camera will be on a catheter type thing. Will you be sedated?

On the whole telling mum things. I had to tell mine a while ago when someone betrayed my confidence and went out of their way to tell her, despite them actually knowing nothing except that we had been trying a while and therefore not to keep asking me questions (which they did every time they saw me, and once just after failed ivf I started crying so had to say something). Anyway, upshot was my mum got really upset at me not telling her and had a go at me. Cue lots of tears from me. She's been ok, but it's so hard for her to find the right things to say. She wants to make everything ok but she can't. She tends to do the miracle conception stories thing which don't make me feel any better at all. Her latest is to suggest that I should start hanging around with pregnant people because it can be catching. Mg mum is fantastic and lovely by the way but I think this goes to show that it's very difficult to find someone who can say the right things. We are contemplating telling pil but I'm very unsure about this.

Pout - I am sorry to hear about more shit you have been through. Those closest can do the most damage so I'm sorry to hear about your situation with your sister. Sometimes, i think some of our feelings can be helped by attitude (which I haven't even begun to master) and so making the most of xmas and planning lots of lovely things seems like the healthiest thing to do because we know the alternative is feeling sad and miserable. So i take my hat off to you and hope you have a brilliant xmas and screw hurtful people. And I think it's bloody unfair that you are having bladder issues when you have been through so much other crap. Do they have any thoughts as to what is going on?

Deer - i didn't realise you had told your mum. I'm not sure many of us on here have had massive support from mums or some have tried but really they don't know what to say. My mum and MiL have always been convinced that it would happen naturally when we least expect it and when I'm not focused on it. Sort of insinuating that worry has stopped me from conceiving. If people are badgering you about why you don't have kids, I would always come out and say something because it's horrible trying to dodge questions. It does amaze me how many people out there think you can magic babies out of thin air. Roy and I were told to get a move on once by someone who had taken 6 years to conceive herself. I would have thought better of her!

Star - sorry to hear you have been trying so long and about your miscarriage. how bloody awful after several years of trying. I was sent away at 18months of trying and told to relax and keep trying and come back in 6 months. Honestly, I'm sorry to hear you have had a worse experience. Having a problem is bad and being unexplained is bad - it's so infuriating and there are quite a few of us who have been in similar positions. Everything points us to being normal, some of us have even conceived naturally in the past , yet there have just been years and years of infertility. Anyway, have you considered ivf - is this something you want to do? Can you get a round or 2 on the NHS in your area? This can be a very good diagnostic tool and can just work wonders for some.

Sammy - i think it's best to do more temping and to look at the bigger picture. The jump can be quite subtle with some people. I did temping for about 15 months and it was a great relief not to do it because I spent far too much time looking at the numbers.

Doll - interesting about your experience and it's a shame you had such a rotten start with little Doll.

Doll . Thank you for telling it like it is . Oh I do miss you. Thank you for your support. Early days but it's exciting as well as terrifying. Sorry things were so rough with Tiny though; given how you seem to cope with rather more challenging life circumstances than most of us could ever envision, then I can only imagine how tough it must have really been. Big hugs.

Aww Pout thanks for popping by. It seems quick and yet sooooo slow! Sorry about the bladder, and the worry of treatment. We should have a Christmas Day virtual meet on here to talk rubbish and cheer each other up.

Managed to not do a test this morning mainly as I was so dying to pee I forgot but now panicking I've not seen a stripe today. Never mind going from scan to scan, I'm just counting down the minutes between drugs. The gaps are shorter. .

doll you are so funny.

nelly next blood test is tomorrow right?

star that is horribly cruel that you had that experience at the 12 week scan. I actually welled up reading it because I can just imagine your excitement, nerves, and then the awful crushing disappointment with all your dreams stomped on - although disappointment isn't even the right word.

ray Mums can be tricky beasts, even when they are lovely. I'm glad yours was nice but I can imagine it'd be difficult to tell her and manage her reaction and worry on top of your own stress. I hope you're feeling a little better after the A* crap pregnancy announcement.

joy ugh at the 'it'll happen if you relax' stuff. That makes me rage even when it's well meant because it always comes from people who know nothing about infertility. FFS.

Lovely pout I am so sorry about the bladder exam thing, it sounds miserable. I have to say that UTIs are so incredibly painful that anything related to bladders gives me the panic. I really hope it all goes well.

Oh also sam I would stick with the temping for a couple of cycles if you can, then you can always stop… it will give you info that could be useful as joy says. I know it is stressful though.

Nelly - given the poas obsession I have already I can totally understand why you'd want to do one every day to see that line! Could end up being quite expensive though

Critter, yes I am going to persevere, I just worry that I'm not going to get a temp rise.... I also worry about not getting pos opks though so it's nothing new for me! Hopefully it will give me some information. X

Yes tomorrow . So far all has been fine but a bit too fine! no painful or growing boobs, no extreme tiredness etc.

How are you? No more bleeding I hope? Have you any more scans planned just now?

Ray are you going to be able to go next cycle do you think?

Joy how are you? In the second tri yet? :)

"It'll happen when you Relax. OR. When you spend £20k and use another woman's eggs" doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it...!

Star were your bloods day 3 and day 21? Did you have thyroid checked? Have you sent your period to Greece??? Ok you probably haven't done the last one, but at least 3 of us have.....this is a test for hidden chlamydia amongst other things. I'd think a fertility referral and an HSG would be the next step though and I'd be banging the door down by now.

There are a lot of question marks above, sorry.

Sammy I'm a mega cheapskate Scot as Buzzy pointed out up thread . I spent £2.80 on 15 tests.

Sending your period to Greece?! What?! ??

Ah, we'll then pee away Nelly! X

*Well not we'll

FF just confirms ov as Fri. I'm surprised as the rise was only .1 of a degree, but phew!

So now I'm looking out for a dip which will mean afs coming? X

I think so Sammy. Have you read Taking Charge of your fertility? It's pretty strong on temping I seem to recall.

Took another test. Just as well as I discovered they go out of date in January and I'd hate to waste them . Anyway whilst the line isn't quite as dark as the control its not far off, but the really reassuring bit is how quickly it came up. The positive line started appearing even before the dye reached the control line. So fingers crossed this bodes well for later but it won't stop me fretting.

I've just realised I'm not taking any multi-vits other than folic acid. Should I be?

No I haven't, will take a look at that!

My pregnant desk buddy was told but D is quite important, but that is all she is taking (the positives of her sharing every detail is that at least I can advise you!)

That would be a waste to let them go out of date, you'd better get using them up