Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Hi middles!

Nice to have you here What do you mean by 'pressure', exactly? Pressure to perform?

Thanks. Not pressure to perform as such but just I'm a bit scared I'm gonna turn in to a shagging fiend! We generally have sex at the weekend/towards the end of the week but I know we need to start dtd more frequently. I know he wants to have little ones just as much as me but I'm not sure he's ready for my obsessive nature to take over!

Hi middles! You are definitely in the right place then. That's why we never, ever, honest use contraband... It all gets a bit stressful. Just need to get used to dtd more often and then it won't matter if its your fertile window or not! And we are mostly a big fan of quickies. No need for a big production, just 5 minutes can be enough. Just keep it spicy, love each other and be honest.

Number, ah, bless you.

Bummer Lemon. But hey, if the worst outcome is a few extra shags, great!

Realised we've dtd 5/6 last days. Noice!

Congrats fleur, sorry I missed it earlier. Hope you are practicing your surprised face if you are planning to do the next one with DH! bat - here's an example of it going the other way. Sometimes it just happens!

jelly - defo eat if you are giving blood. They will make you eat biscuits after anyway so Friday doesn't sound like a good idea.

lemon - I kept all of mine for comparison so not sure the after 10mim thing is really that solid.

Welcome number and middle. I find the best thing to relieve pressure is to tell him repeatedly what you need and when every fertile day. Then, if he doesn't do it, cry. That usually is a guaranteed way to get some action! Oh no, I remember now, he DIDN'T like the crying...

Thanks for the advice honey and dulcet. Sounds good.

And yeah, I don't think my red, blotchy and snotty face is much of a turn on. Although we can always keep the lights off

number I got my bfp with those cheapies!

OK epic catch up time!

Congrats fleur awesome result!

Hi number welcome. What CDs were your prog tests done on. Day21 is a myth.

Aww thanks mountain the thought of jsers willpower creating my bfp made me smile
I imagine your dh probably is trying to protect himself from the hurt. Maybe talk about how you feel about it together and see if that helps

jelly don't fast on the day you are giving blood or the day after that's stupid dangerous

Hi middles. I took it easy with dh at first but after 6months I sat him down and gave him a biology lesson! Since then he's been more amenable to DTD leading up to ov. I ov late so we delayed starting each month. I think understanding the slim window and knowing when AF was due helped him get on board. He would ask if my temp had gone up and stuff then praying he'd get a break no doubt

Hmm that's a good idea. Since we've been together DP hasn't had a clue when AF was in town which always astounds me - men are just wired differently.

Hi middles welcome :) I wouldn't worry too much about pressurising DP. When he realises how much sex he will get "it" I'm sure he will come round. Ideally you want to aim for 2-3 times a week, and up it immensly during your fertile period.

Lil that made me chuckle. Yeah I won't fast Friday, it'd be a bit silly. I see people on the 5:2 MN fred doing it sometimes but I just think it's a bit stoopid.

I'm really excited about AF fecking off this time. I put 0 effort into DTD last month, this month I have no excuse. DP has 3 weeks off work so he has no excuse, I just need to kick my arse into action!!!!

Fleur how's it feeling? Have you told your DH yet?

Honey I think you might be in line for shagger of the month!

Gaggia got gingers crossed that you are still in?

Gingers crossed jelly. Got another positive on the opk today so were going for 6/7 tonight!

Am I right that you should get two peaks a month? Hope I don't get a third or I'll be very confused! But did get shabby pains and ewcm so hope we're on the right lines!

Hi middles

I think a lot of ladies don't really talk to their dh/p 's about conception, to avoid the feeling of pressure. Personally, Mr. Tink has really come round to our new approach these last few months. We have been ttc for nearly 6 years and we can both be guilty of being lazy with the old farmyard business!

I'd never temped before August, or used opks properly, but have found knowing where I am in my cycle has helped us both immensely. It means the pressure to dtd is only there for 10 days or so each month. Leaving plenty of time for him to play hard to get!

dulcet been there!!

gaggia you got me rooting for you too x

middles welcome! I'm not a great one to talk about pressure - my bean was conceived via lunch time stealth shag! He was too hungover to do it in morning and I knew I was icing so popped back at lunch!

How's everyone?

lil if it's possible to conceive via positive thoughts I'm sending you millions!!!! You're going to be a mummy in 2015 xxx

honey I thought one peak?? I think if you get two you didn't ovulate the first time. Your body gears up to pop an egg out but it doesn't happen. Then has another go a few days later.

Could have got that totally wrong though better ask the Oracle !!

dulcet my collection is starting to rival yours! ;)

la I'm 100% with you, lil you can expect to receive a daily dose of pma until you get that bfp.

2 peaks and you usually ovulate 2nd day/peak

Went on website to see a photo of your collection then la - disappointed! I did one more yesterday so you have some more to catching up to do!

Grrr... I'm mad at DH again. This time because he seems to think he's some sort of martyr for doing washing up at the weekend and doing it tonight... He has actually done the majority of the washing up lately, but he doesn't seem to take into consideration that I clean the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room... I have a much lower tolerance to untidiness than he does so I just normally end up doing it.

jelly glad to hear you're not going to fast on giving blood day. I didn't quite manage to stay under the 500 mark, but hit 574 calories. First fast day in a couple months, so I'll take that.

Is anyone else really cold tonight? My feet are like blocks of ice! I need to dig out the hot water bottle!

Aiming for an early night tonight... reckon it'll happen?

Do we all have pee sticks in our bedside drawers?

Go Honey, SOTM for sure

Welcome middles :)

Chat are you talking about peed on sticks or to be used sticks? Not that I have either... My stash is in the bottom of the bathroom cupboard.

middles I don't think I said hi.

honey if you mean 2 consecutive days of pos opks then not always. I've had 2 on maybe 2 or 3 cycles but usually just one. so yeah, what tink said. if you mean at different times in cycle then what la said.

I don't know where I'd be with out you guys. you are the mist amazing group of people. you really do all keep me going through this nightmare. I'm glad in a way I've been here so long to have been able to meet so many of you. that goes for you lurking grads too. xxx

off to download Zita Wests ivf book on my Kindle!

Who was it who got the duff opks? Was it honey?
My opks are shite the control line is a squinter. No wonder they have all been neg.
Thought af had arrived earlier but it was just pant snot. Not ewcm though.

lil I can recommend her cook book, healthy and yum!

I mean I got one yesterday and today, so guess either I iced yesterday and still high for a line, or I am icing today. Either way, plenty of shagging to be had.

Will have to see what happens in the next few days. If it does keep giving lines distrustful then I guess we'll just keep shagging!

DH says he is drinking plenty of water to keep his balls full!

Yes it was gaggia which is why I don't trust it. Line still not as strong as they are on a preg test (control line I mean) but clear enough. Second line obvious today.

Its actually weird to look at a second line on a test. So conditioned for that to mean I'm pregnant!

I messaged noniks earlier. Not seen her on this thread. Anyone know if she's OK?