Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Thanks for for the warm welcome ladies
Khbutterfly11 needs to be over 30 for a decent chance!

gx it shoots up soon for you then number3!!

Hey fleur snap! We are due same day and yes you're right as I'm same dpo! Yay due date buddy please stick little bean

Hi number big kudos for trading in for new model! Gx for you

I didn't POAS with dh as he's so bored of it now. First time I woke him up and he went 'woo' then fell asleep. This time he was annoying me so I just went .'by the way I'm pregnant' to get him to shut up

mountain that sounds frustrating but normal. Mines so blasé about it it drives me nuts but I think it's self preservation. Personally I would let him go skiing. He's going to be a dad and there'll be little chance once baby arrived. I'm sending mine to Amsterdam with his mates before due date, so he can have some fun before knuckling down. That is just me though and doesn't mean you're wrong if you would rather he didn't go.

Sending you reassuring hugs. Today we are... Xx

Anyone used these before?
Got them from Ebay, but now keep seeing reviews saying they tested neg but was actually Pos?

Do you guys trust them? They are the green stick ones x

Morning viroids. Wooohooo congratulations kitten Fleur

When I was pg, Dh was quiet about it. He wouldn't let me look at baby things. When he wasn't excited enough, I called him a killjoy and said he was pissing on my chips. turns out he was right though :-(

the picture is a bit small for my terrible eyes, but are the ov sticks? If so, quite a few people use the IC's (internet cheapies) but also have Clear Blue as a back up.

If they are preg sticks, then yeah we all use the cheapies, they detect from quite a low level of HCG which is what you need :)

I used these which gave me good strong lines.

I use internet cheapies from amazon or eBay, £2.50 for 15 plenty of scope for mad POAS obsession mwahahahahaaa

Yeah those are the ones pis!

I've had the same as Pis which have always given me a very reliable and correct BFN ! I've never had an IC OPK or PG test fail, whereas Clearblue, First Response and others I can't recall have let me down previously. Although, of course I am virtuous and holier than thou this cycle and am not indulging in any contraband whatsoever!

You're all welcome to come stay! You just have to put up with the sleep deprivation and my constant moaning about symptoms! Wardrobe is full, two massive nappy boxes full of clothes that don't fit her anymore, and we're both having a lie down after lunch :)

No idea about the pee sticks, Number3, I got some from Amazon to fuel my habit but had to search to find international free delivery. It doesn't look like much to waste if they are unreliable - when you get your BFP you may want a digi or similar to see it writing anyways.

Mountain the ski dilemma is a tough one. My DH adores skiing, I took it up because he loved it so much. I'm now half decent and fully intend for DD to learn. We went when I was about 8-9w with DD (it was already booked...LOS) and I just relaxed in the pool/spa and did some snowshoeing. Also wandered over to the fun park to take videos and photos of the boys jumping falling over. It was all very nice but it was only a long weekend - any more and I'd have been bored and resentful. We've not booked this year, I've told him we can do the same thing again, and we'll maybe get a late deal. I did promise DD she could ski when she turned three, and the little minx has remembered! So I should try to find a way to keep that promise. Nothing gets past her!

DH is the opposite to these self-preservers. Keeps telling me he's not getting excited until after the scan, but twitching at every symptom, spotting, you name it.

wow, what a morning!

First off a big congratulations to fleur! that's great news!!! Am a tad jealous I have to admit but am over the moon for you! and Yay for having la as a date buddy. please stick little beans.

I am absolutely exhausted and have been having vivid dreams lately. still no af. now on cd71. I'm going to get my blood test done tomorrow I hope. I'm going to go up to the hospital nice and early and hope there isn't a long queue. The walk in bit for blood tests opens at half 7 and I have to be at school by half 8 at the very very latest.. Fingers crossed I can do it.

oh, to the dieters out there, when are you doing your fast days this week? I'm aiming for today and then either Wednesday or Thursday. so far I'm on 166 calories plus a cup of tea (splash of milk, no sugar). first fast day in a good couple of months since I fell off the wagon so gx I can keep it up. need your support you lovely viroids.

You lot are like instant therapy thankyou :) I think it's less about him going more about the fact he doesn't seem sympathetic I can't, plus I hate it when he goes ice climbing anyway as it's so damned dangerous never seem to think about that when I want to but I am moaning and I shouldn't as I know I am damned lucky.
Feeling sooop tired and fluffy today. Surely I shouldn't be expected to work when I should be googling pregnancy apps??

Dammit, Ainat you've just reminded me! I was supposed to fast today but have just had Linda McCartney sausages, beans, boily egg and toast!!! Will be twotting by mid week (dieting not advised in the twot) so might give it a miss this month any excuse - good luck though!!

Thanks ladies!! I will rely on my BFN from these for now, although I am 3 days late for AF, this is sometimes normal.

Well here's all for more fun trying next month, and hopefully AF will arrive soon!

Yey, La it's good to have a buddy.

Am hoping it sticks, funny how the mind works. I am currently feeling sick and someone in my office has just made marmite on toast for lunch No nausea at all until after the test

Ainat I'm doing Weds this week, my weeks run from Thurs - Thurs and I did last Friday so number 2 will be Wednesday, then next week I will do Mon and Thurs. That's what I love about 5:2, it's so flexible :) I might fit one in either tomorrow or Friday, but I'm giving blood Friday so would rather eat!

Congratulations fleur that's excellent news!

Thanks chat just figuring out when that window is that's the tricky bit!

Mountain hope your Dh realises how you're feeling soon. It's not fair that he can't see it from your point of view

fleur weeeeeee thats lovely congrats!

yes tink i reckon im out due to not oving. reckon AF will come today.

Aaaaaaargh! Just lost a lovely long message!

Tink Yay! But i will be poas ing a bit earlier now.

Woooooooo Fleur! Congratulations!
Welcome Number, come on in!

Lemon Yes for LH poas between 2-8pm

mountain welcome back! I'd worry about ice climbing too!

Thanks Honey. Really grumpy with myself now because I've wasted a whole packet! Do you also not read the results after 10mins, like it says? I've been revisiting mine day on day, and comparing them.

Welcome Number! I am new, too

tink maybe it might be worth you sitting out the 5:2 this month.

jelly yeah, I found when I was doing the 5:2 before that I loved that I could be really flexible. :-) I'm still doing okay today. As long as I make a low calorie dinner all is good. If you're giving blood on Friday maybe not best to do your fast day then.

number I don't think I said hello yet. .

Hello! [waves]
you ladies are so lovely

Hi all. Been reading this thread for ages so I thought I'd jump in.

Not technically trying until new year (DP doesn't want me to be pregnant before xmas as we have a lot of plans up until the new year that mainly involve alcohol) but we're not avoiding either.

I'm counting this as cycle 1 but as he isn't I don't want to put too much pressure on him to DTD. We should be at it like rabbits this week in order to conceive but due to our schedules we probaby won't manage until Friday. There's still hope on Friday but I'd love to get pregnant ASAP.

How do you ladies manage the pressure are DH/DPs are under? All thoughts welcome x