Remember, Remember, JS in November - no to bum fun, car shagging and worms. Control your stray wombles and windy boobs. Shout WANKBADGERS at the world of TTC and get your cape on for JUST SHAGGING 32!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 31 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2224162-Step-AWAY-from-the-pissy-sticks-and-get-back-in-the-bedroom-don-your-cape-but-dont-break-his-banjo-string-and-get-yourself-a-bun-in-the-oven-like-Paul-Hollywood-Its-Just-Shagging-31" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Morning all, shall we all rejoice that it's Monday...

Rejoice? Hmm.

lil you're right, someone else is meant to be joining me, can't remember who though.

Well, I clearly have no willpower. I succumbed and got a BFP!!!!!

Yikes! So shocked, scared, overwhelmed, excited

Am I really expected to do any work today?

Also, I haven't told DH yet. I know this is bad but I kind of want to get my head straight before involving anyone else. Might get a clear blue tonight (I used a superdrug early response) and do it again tomorrow morning with him.

It does feel like betrayal though

Yay Fleur! How exciting! How long have you been TTC?

Morning Viroids. Happy fucking Monday. I am quite annoyed with myself because, for once in my life, I didn't read the instructions when I first bought OPKs, and now I appear to have wasted them with FMU. It says you're supposed to POAS in the middle of the day, not the beginning or end? So my high LH could have been a false result. Anyway, mid cycle is drawing near, so will be doing midday wees from today, and let's see what happens.

Congratulations fleur! Are you the first of new Fred? Lucky Fred...!

I was just about to commend your willpower fleur but sod that Whoop Whoop I love a BFP!!!

I don't think its a betrayal to leave it 24 hours I think i would feel nervous about telling DH as well (especially since he is a blabber mouth but that's another story!) I also think i would want at least 2 bfps before i told him so i think i understand where you're coming from.

Until then CONGRATULATIONS!!

Does everyone else POAS with there DP/DH?

I feel a bit embarrassed. We started ttc on 25th October this year

Must have been on first attempt.
I was convinced it would take us months. In shock.

Goodness me congratulations fleur!!!

Wow, that's an awesome result, no wonder you have mixed emotions, I think that's totally normal

Wowzers fleur congratulations!! Start of a lucky Fred I hope! I think jelly and gaggia were due to test this Tuesday?? jelly got af. gaggia is still waiting to ice. (Did I keep up, is that right)

honey we're still in synch. My ewcm started yesterday (CD12) but we started shagging on Saturday and the awesome penis is bearing up pretty well dh has caught my bug so is happily just lying there until he can bear it no more! Never seem to get any time to dtd after af and before fertile window. There are only a couple of days and it never happens Anyhoo, the soy doesn't seem to have had any I'll effects, certainly hasn't delayed things! My cycle really does steam along for the first two weeks! Already dreading the tww....

Hope you're ok la and mountain. Hope your weekend was good and you're calming down

Any chance of stats fleur

that was it, i did think we'd lost one of the tuesday viroids :-/ but couldn't remember. memory worse than a broken sieve!

I'm officially in the 2ww now. It's my 2nd cycle but the 1st i didn't hold out much hope as we hadn't dtd much in the window. so this is my 1st proper experience of the wait and if DH asks me one more time when i can POAS i might shove one where he doesn't want one i'm not at all tempted yet but i know i will be by next week and i need distracting!

Stats: 34 ttc #1 started oct 14

I am 16 dpo, conceived on cd 14

Apparently according to a several websites due date 18th July

Thanks for the reassurance butterfly we have no secrets and so this feels like it is weighing heavy.

Thanks for the congrats all, so glad I could come on here and share

we're the same fleur I can't keep secrets from him at all, i just blurt them out - birthdays and christmas are painful lol!!

Name: Number
Age: 33 edging closer to 34
DC: DS 11, DD 7
TTC: Upgraded my ex for a younger model, he's 28, no children.
TTC since July
Progesterone September: 3 (effing bollocks)
Progesterone October: 10 (ok so were on the rise)
Was on the evil cerazettle with no periods for 6 years

Waaah! Congratulations kitten Fleur!!

I don't POAS with DH, that would be weird would it not?

We have a four-day weekend here - 11/11 is a national holiday, as it should be in the UK - so the school have an inset day today. We went to Ghent yesterday which was utterly beautiful, but I had to get the elevator up the bell tower - this is unheard of! Sun is shining so we're off to the park to collect leaves after lunch.

Mega boobs are here, DH is delighted. We built DD's wardrobe at the weekend - today we're putting all her clothes into her bedroom for the the first time in three months! Slow going between her constantly finding books to read my mumsnetting and my need to sit down every half hour. We're going to bake biscuits later.

Ooh, cross-posted there, welcome Number3 :)

lol chat i don't "think" i meant actually poas WITH him, maybe letting him know it was what you were going to do and having him wait?! it's not something i could imagine doing anyway so hadn't thought about it much. Plus he leaves the house Waaayyyyyyyy to early for it to ever happen lol!

I agree 11/11 should definitely be a national holiday!! I'd even swap one of the May ones for it or something!! how lovely that Belgium do that!

Enjoy the park, even if you have to find a bench every now and then! :-D

Chat can I come and live with you please - I want to collect leaves and bake biscuits!!

Welcome Number3

Welcome Number3
forgive my ignorance, but what should progesterone be at? glad it's on the rise for you anyway!!

Am also an ex cerazette user, but only managed 10months and it didn't stop AF, just messed to buggery with it!! (7 weeks off, 5 weeks on etc!!) hated it and dread being told its the only one i can take in the future (have many issues!!)

Bloody hell viroids ... I go away for 2 days and it takes me 2 hours to catch up on your chatter!!

welcome number

Huge congrats kitten fleur (hopefully makes you feel a bit better bat ?)

lil I am crossing everything for you I am a big knot. However, even if this doesn't turn out to be the cycle you will be a mother in 2015 even if the IVF is funded by sheer JS willpower thoughts

la I am stressing over my lines too. After the inital frers I am now using cheapies and they don't seem to be getting darker... I am waiting till the end of the week to try my 1 digi as if I don't have the HCG for it I think the whole world will break for me. Symptoms wise, I think my boobs are a bit bigger but no obvious changes. Just feel pretty tired and fluey (immediate cold and sore throat was also my sister's first signs) and strangely dizzy at times. Plus HUNGRY ALL THE TIME I am literally eating everything I find like some upduffed hoover.

DH is being an arse. He literally clams up whenever I try to talk about the poppy seed. I hope it is just because of the past mc's... I can literally see him within my mind curling up like a hedgehog. And he doesn't seem to be taking anything seriously :( plus is still planning on going skiing and ice climbing without me next year am I being too hard on him?

Welcome Number :)

Fleur that's amazing you kitten you! Huge congrats :)

Yeah I was one of the Tuesday pissers, but I'm out and I think gaggia is still in (just?).

Good news, AF is starting to ease up, so I don't feel like I'm re-coloring the sewerage systems, but it's still heavier than normal. Hope she pisses off by Friday, I'm meant to giving blood and don't think my body can take any more lol Also forgot to take my temp this morning...oops!

mountain DH sounds like he's being a bit unfair :( Hugs hun

Yeah bat (points to fleur) - like that!

mountain try not to stress says the casual observer who would be stressing to buggery Look at it this way, you are still getting lines, they aren't fading, and your boobs and symptoms are doing what they should!

Yeah chat you aren't seeking any adoptees as well as DD and Dbean are you??

mountain I am also currently going through the skiing row. DH is insisting he goes and I go with him but we go to Bulgaria which means we can afford a spa hotel so if I get upduffed I can laze about. However, we cant afford it without a credit card becoming involved, not good. And personally i'd rather go and lay in the sun if we go anywhere.
There is NO WAY i'd agree to him going without me!!! Since we've been married he went skiing without me once and it almost ended in divorce so never again!!! I don't think you are being harsh at all x

mountain sounds like a very irritating man coping symptom... Really annoying/hurtful to you but I can imagine many men clamming up like a hedgehog just as you describe. Each week that goes by I bet he will get easier with it too, it could be that inside he's as scared as you about what has happened before. It can't be much fun for you when he's shutting down like that though. I'm sure he's going to gradually get more comfortable with it and begin to relax and talk. Hugs!

Mountain even without any history of troubles DP didn't want to talk about anything baby related after the BFP. He also didn't really believe the BFP was real and it was only a digi spelling it out that made him accept it. I wasn't overflowing with symptoms either which didn't help and I was getting quite concerned that this would continue throughout the pregnancy. However after the 12 weeks scan he changed completely. It turned out that just ignoring it was his way of dealing with the possibility that something might go wrong. We agreed no skiing for both of us next year regardless before starting TTC too

Congratulations Fleur